What Makes Us Real

Life is messy. We have to, in our lifetime, deal with betrayal, lies, heartache and false friends. But in the end, those that try to harm us and hurt us only make us stronger. Better. And they hate that. The best revenge truly is simply being happy and living a fabulous life. And when you move on, happy and confident, it is your life returned to you. And each time we feel pain, we feel it ia little deeper in the soul, until we are the beautiful, complex works of art we were meant to be. But life must carve out those deep spaces in us first.

When I was 19 I read a book called the Prophet. Amazing book. It changed my life. In it was the passage that said:

“But if in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure, Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor, Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.”

I decided right then and there, at the tender age of 19, that I would live a life that was full, full of love, sorrow, joy, tears, laughter and much, much more. I decided that I would make my life the great epic novel it could be. I have soared above the clouds and crashed below the ocean. I have made mistakes and paid dearly for them. And I would do it all over agian. Because in the end, everyone, those who like me and those who do not, will never be able to deny that I lived and loved with my whole heart.

But this life wears you out sometimes, wounds you, gives you scars. They heal, yes, but scars they leave just the same. And then we wake up, all tattered and torn, and wonder about our lives and get very introspective. I wonder if the choice I made to live life to the fullest, both the good and the bad, was the right choice? Then I read the following quote from a book titled Kisses from Katie:

I was like the Velveteen Rabbit. I was tattered and worn out. I’d been hurt and scarred and banged around a bit in the past year, but God was using all those things to help me become real. I was coming to understand that what it means to be real is to love and be loved until there is nothing left. And when there is nothing left, and we feel we’re all in pieces, God begins to make us whole. He makes us real.

These words spoke to my heart and soul. And I realized that only in living life to the fullest, can we truly honor God’s plan for us.  Only in expereincing and loving till there is nothing left, can we honor the life we are meant to live.  The desire to live a meaningful life of purpose is universal. It is in our bones, our blood, our humanity. We strive.

Because in this life, what really matters? It is not the big house or expensive things, though they may give us enjoyment. But they are not real. What is real is loving, playing, working, kissing, living, with all your heart. Those we hurt us show us who we are supposed to be, and give us the life we are supposed to have. They help us reach the heights we only would have imagined.  So I thank all those who helped make me real.

The Bitch is Back

We all have those moments where we realize that, after a hard time, we are indeed back on the horse.  Resilience is defined as an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change. The quantum ability to let it fall off of you, those things, people, situations, friends, or whatever may have hurt you. The ability to see the sun, hear the music, feel your heart beat again. It is a re awakening of sorts.

There are times in life when we just want to roll up in a big ball and hide. Then we slowly realize that those big monsters don’t really exist and their really is no reason to be afraid of the dark. And sometimes the wrong decisions bring us to the right places. Sometimes it takes a major event to shake things up and make you re-align yourself, your processes, your life, your heart. And you forgive yourself, for the mistakes, for everything you did right, for everything you didn’t know, for all you did know, and all you never will. And then, at least for me, a freedom and calm comes, along with a wonderful thing called perspective.

Indeed, as I go through the process of preparing for the new year, I am shedding the old skin of the past. I feel stronger, lighter, better, healthier. And I know that all will be well in my life come 2012. Sometimes, when you least expect it, you discover some of the best things in life.

Oh yes baby, the Bitch is back.