It became popular and mainstream with the 50 Shades of Grey series. The Dominant who abused the subordinate. The “alpha”male who had to control and dominated his woman. Who had to make more money than she and make sure he beat his chest and that everyone knew his power – especially her.
But in real life that is not how it works. That is the thing about fantasy versus reality. The REAL Dom, the true Alpha Male, never has to beat his chest. Because True Alpha male, knows that it is the Sub (woman) who is in control and sets the boundaries. It is the Dom’s responsibility to make sure that the Sub feels safe, and secure and protected at all times. And only then, will the Dom Play within the boundaries that the Sub has set.
Most people think it is the Christian Grey, the man who has to control and beats and tears down the woman who is the alpha male. No, that is what the movies tell us. In real life, it is the man who speaks softly, the man who is kind and gentle and tender. Exactly the opposite of what you would think, right? And there enlies the secret.
Confused? Then you have no idea what it means to be a strong man. A true man – a true gentleman, knows the secret – you let the woman set the pace, the woman set the boundaries and you let the woman go free. Because only when a woman is secure and loved and protected will she return of her own free will.
So all those men who think that because they make a lot of money, or have high ranking jobs that they are the kings or the alphas No, you are just assholes. And assholes are a dime a dozen, nothing special at all. It’s how you make your partner feel that is important.
And that is the kind of man that I want – kind and gentle. A man who knows that the first rule is the relationship, is to make sure that the woman is happy. Then the woman will take care of him. It is not a contest of who get what the most, or who wins the most arguments or gets to say they are right moist of the time. It is how honest you are, how much integrity you have, and if you keep your promises.
My father was a true Alpha male. He never raised his voice to my mother, He never mistreated, her, he never yelled at her or cussed at her. He treated her with nothing but respect, and he made sure to played within her boundaries. And because of this, she was dedicated to him only. She, the alpha female, acquiesced because she knew, finally that she was safe.
And so I was reminded of this fact tonight. Only a true Dom knows how to make his Sub dedicated. Just like only a true Alpha Male knows how to make a woman truly smile. And that has nothing to do with money, or power or control. It is exactly the opposite. So take note.
Life is short. Spend it with a man who knows.