Stepping Stones

I wrote this back in 2011.  and it is still true today…when we have gone through a bad time, we have a choice…

The Stepping Stone Theory

 We all have them, those bad times, those hard relationships, those broken hearts, the skinned ideals and the bruised egos.  But do those things have to define who and what you are?  How much power do they have over you?  The decision is yours.  This has come up in several conversations as of late…with my friends, confidants and potential dates.  I have long had a theory on this topic.

The years 18-20 were very tough years for me and many bad things happened.  One day when I was 21 and feeling sorry for myself, I had a revelation.  We all go through dark times…it’s how we choose to handle them that makes the difference.  We have a choice:  To let those bad times, and all that comes with it, to become a ball and chain around us that drags us down into a pit of fear, anger and bitterness. OR.  Or, we can use our bad experiences as a stepping stone to rise above and become better, stronger people.  The latter is the hardest, as it requires a great deal of strength, courage and determination.  It also requires a great deal of compassion.

I decided at the ripe old age of 21, that I would never have a ball and chain, I would never lower myself be subjected to the bitterness of it, I would not let those who hurt me make me as bitter and twisted as they were.  Last night as I spoke to someone who said they could not have a relationship because of the remnants of a bad relationship 10 years ago…I heard my 21 year old voice again.

We all have a choice – we are not nor do we ever have to be, the sum of all our wounds, hurts and broken hearts.  We have a choice.  And I have made mine.  And that is the beautiful things about choices, it’s never too late to make them.  It is never too late to change your destiny, attitude, life. So make the decision to climb up on the stepping stone.  Don’t worry about what happens if you fall…because there are plenty of people who love you who will be there to help steady your feet…if you just let them in.