What are the Odds? Who Cares

I am convinced that to accomplish anything in life, you must decide that the odds do not apply to you. At first this may sound arrogant, but it is not. The reason is that you have to make up your mind that the odds do not matter…because no matter what the odds are you will succeed. So why do they matter?

When my father was diagnosed with cancer, he was told that he might have between 6-12 months. But he lived and received treatment for 6 years, which is unheard of for liver cancer. I am not even sure they have odds for someone living that long after diagnosis. HE decided that the odds did not matter or apply to him. He had faith and prayed, he had treatments and took care of himself. And then he also had my another as his caregiver.

And my mother beat the odds as well. Back in 2001 she was diagnosed with Ovarian cancer and given less than a 1% chance. And she beat it. For 16 years and still died cancer free. She decided, even told the doctors that she was going to give them their 1%, because those odds did not apply to her.

You have to believe with such determination and such passion and such faith, that you cut a clear path through all the menucia and achieve. No matter what your dream is – to be an actor, a writer, retire early, climb a mountain, be a mother, beat cancer – you make up your mind. And the odds? Don’t even listen to them. You don’t need to know what they are. Because they don’t matter. Let the naysayers have the odds, make the calculations and talk about the results. You just put your head down and get to work.

When you make up your mind like that, are you really taking risks? Other’s may think you are crazy, and that is OK. The best people are. Mom sounded crazy when she told the doctors she was going to survive, Dad sounded crazy to say that he would be around longer than 5 years after the diagnosis. I was told many times that I was crazy to think I could make a great, or even good living, being a writer.

The odds don’t apply to you, so don’t even listen. All you need to accomplish your dreams is already right inside you. Everything you need is already there, and no one, not even the math wizards who get paid to create the formulas that tell us the odds can tell you anything. You make your own odds.

Where Are You Now

When the anniversary of the death of a loved one is approaching, it causes one to look back. At least it does for me. YOU look back and think of the timeframe. It has almost been a year and in addition to looking back on a year ago, I think about all that has happened in 12 months. I think about where I have been.

A year ago today, this weekend, my two half sisters came to visit to see Dad. I had urged them to come down and spend time with Dad before he was too sick and weak. He was going into Hospice so I knew there was not much time left. He was so happy they were there. His face lit up. He was so happy to see them, so happy to spend time with them, so happy that they came down just to see him.. He loved being around those girls and I had only seen him happier once – when all of his children came together for the sibling reunion. It meant so much for him.

There were a lot of changes happening and I wanted them to know that Dad would be well taken care of. He was not only going into Hospice, but moving into a wonderful retirement/assisted living facility. I had looked at about 7 places while Dad was in the hospital the week after my birthday and narrowed it down to three. Dad then chose which one he liked the best. The place was amazing and they truly cared for those who lived there. He also chose which apartment he wanted and it suited him well. I can’t say he was excited, but he was not dreading it. I arranged for the girls to have a tour so that they knew where Dad would be.

It was a year ago tonight that we were all together watching the Grammy’s. Adelle paid tribute to Prince and even started it over. Dad hated modern music, but wrapped up in blanket and watched with all of us just so he could be with the girls. The pervy ex was somewhere, phone in hand, contacting strippers and prostitutes, and making plans to leave just 3 days afterward.

You remember. And then you ask yourself – where have you been? And you think about that. I have been around the world and back a thousand times it seems. And here I am now. I work at a great company, have the best friends in the entire world, have a wonderful relationship, live in a nice house in a nice area, completely different from.where I was before. Very little about my life is the same as it was. And even though this month is a hard one, I am happy. I am still adjusting to the new normal and am not completely convinced that you ever get used to it, but I am good. Life is good and I am working hard every day top make it better.

You have to look up and recognize your path and where you have been. And when someone asks where are you now? You can answer and talk about that which you are thankful and recognize as good. Because that is how you grow. Even on the days when it is hard and you have to make yourself, it is worth it. Because you are stronger than the sadness and grief, because life is stronger than death and love is the strongest of all.