The Bed

Another piece I write in 2014.  As the day of love approaches, look around…you probably have more love around you than you thought.

Bed of Love

 Yes, it is That day tomorrow, the day dedicated to love: Valentine’s Day. When I was younger, I was all into this day. I wanted the roses, the dinner, the gifts, the romance, the ALL of Valentines. Ah, how age has mellowed me out. I am still a romantic sap, but a bit more practical.

To me, whether single or attached, these days Valentine’s is about the every day love that we experience in our lives. And as I look around, I see so much love in my life. First, the love of my parents. Their love for each other and their family is truly inspiring. I can only hope to be as good of parents as they are.

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And my friends. I have so many who are there for me, day and night, through the good and bad, thick and thin. Yes, they are my heart, as it beats over and over.

These are the people who love me no matter how many times I make mistakes, trip and fall, spill things, put my foot in my mouth, break something, need help, forget something, when I look ugly, feel ugly, have gained 10 lbs, eat and entire pizza (not that that has ever happened), have a bad hair day, or month, spill a drink on them, or their significant other  (not that that has ever happened…)and countless other things too numerous too mention..

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And then there are my loves. Those men who have been in my life and are and have been the loves of my life. Most of them are still friends, and I cherish the time they have been in my life. They have been and filled the space between the heartbeats. Each and every one. The time between each breathe.

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And I think of how blessed I am, to have loved and top have been loved, and to be loved so much. In my life, in this new beginning, in this space and time, in this struggle, there is not a place I can go to get away from the love in my life. And it will just grow. Because that is what love does when it’s shared. And love is everywhere with me as I start this new beginning, this new adventure in life.

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And to all of them, everyone who is a source of love and light in my life; I carry your heart. I carry it in my heart

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http://youtu.be/k3m6vWsrMIU

Stepping Stones

I wrote this back in 2011.  and it is still true today…when we have gone through a bad time, we have a choice…

The Stepping Stone Theory

 We all have them, those bad times, those hard relationships, those broken hearts, the skinned ideals and the bruised egos.  But do those things have to define who and what you are?  How much power do they have over you?  The decision is yours.  This has come up in several conversations as of late…with my friends, confidants and potential dates.  I have long had a theory on this topic.

The years 18-20 were very tough years for me and many bad things happened.  One day when I was 21 and feeling sorry for myself, I had a revelation.  We all go through dark times…it’s how we choose to handle them that makes the difference.  We have a choice:  To let those bad times, and all that comes with it, to become a ball and chain around us that drags us down into a pit of fear, anger and bitterness. OR.  Or, we can use our bad experiences as a stepping stone to rise above and become better, stronger people.  The latter is the hardest, as it requires a great deal of strength, courage and determination.  It also requires a great deal of compassion.

I decided at the ripe old age of 21, that I would never have a ball and chain, I would never lower myself be subjected to the bitterness of it, I would not let those who hurt me make me as bitter and twisted as they were.  Last night as I spoke to someone who said they could not have a relationship because of the remnants of a bad relationship 10 years ago…I heard my 21 year old voice again.

We all have a choice – we are not nor do we ever have to be, the sum of all our wounds, hurts and broken hearts.  We have a choice.  And I have made mine.  And that is the beautiful things about choices, it’s never too late to make them.  It is never too late to change your destiny, attitude, life. So make the decision to climb up on the stepping stone.  Don’t worry about what happens if you fall…because there are plenty of people who love you who will be there to help steady your feet…if you just let them in.