This little life of mine, I’m going to let it shine”
It has been a little while since I have written. But I have been very busy, making this little life shine. I have been praying, meditating, sharing, laughing, healing, drinking wine, and just taking time to take care of myself and get things in order.
Miracles happen every day, so why shouldn’t that happen in my life? That is a question that we should be asking ourselves. And instead of asking ourselves Why me? We should be asking, why not me? That means instead of asking why you when complaining, figure out the kind of life you want and ask why not you? When looking at success, why not you? When finding happiness, why not you?
Sometimes we think that we are not worthy of success or the good things in life, or we get discouraged because we have been working hard for so long. But change your attitude and change your world.
Embrace the glorious mess that you are.” – Elizabeth Gilbert
I am a glorious mess right now. I am still in the active process of grieving the loss of both parents. I still burst out into tears at certain songs, smells, thoughts and memories. That is just how it is. And with Father’s Day coming and the first anniversary of Mom’s death, I am a hot glorious mess. And that is OK.
But I also have many reasons to celebrate. In finding the New Normal, which is an incredibly difficult and emotional journey, there is the opportunity to make my life exactly what I want it to be. This time has made me reexamine many things in my life.
The result is that I saw that I was not happy with several facets of my life. So, with prayer, meditation and and a hopeful heart, made some changes to get closer what I want, and how I want my life to feel. It’s not about chasing that illusive thing called Happiness, it’s about creating a life that makes me fulfilled and content.
“Making a big life change is pretty scary. You know what’s even scarier? Regret.”
Changes have happened, and they are resounding in their vibration. I am taking care of myself now and doing what I need. And it has made such a difference in my mood and disposition. To take care of yourself and have people who love you, and not romantically, but just as a human being, is wonderful. It is healing.
I have also decided to take my career in a different direction and this is exciting. I will still be writing, but more in a creative fashion. This is something I have wanted for a along time, but have not had the opportunity to take action on this. Before taking care of my parents I was putting my nephew through college. Now, it is my time, and I get to do what makes me happy.
Another positive change is moving into the master bedroom. It is huge for me, taking over this room as the lady of the house. Arranging it and making it mine. It is symbolic of taking control over my life and doing what is best for me. I am the captain, the author…
Often when people go through a change they also do a massive cleaning out. They get rid of what has weighed them down. It could be things, people, jobs, whatever. And the result is amazing. I feel lighter, healthier and more at peace. If I have no hope of ever fitting into it again (like my skinny, skinny pants), then it goes. If you don’t support me, or add something positive to my life, then you go too.
Stop worrying about what you have to loose and start focusing on what you have to gain.
And there are other miracles as well that are beautiful, amazing and are still developing. But this little life, gives me so much for which to hope, to dream, to do, to be. I have motivation to work hard, to be my best. That kind of enthusiasm cannot be faked either, it must come from within. How do you get there? Just ask yourself how do you want your life to feel? And go after what makes you feel that way.
I want a life that is filled with purpose, service and fulfillment. A home where my friends and family feel warm and welcome. A job where I write and contribute to in a meaningful way. And it may sound silly, but having a full cupboard with plenty of food for my friends, and plenty of bedding and towel for friends in case any one of them need a place to stay…that makes me feel content.
A life where love is so present, that it is tangible. And it is getting closer with every second of hard work, prayer, thoughtfulness and Faith.
And now more than ever, I have a reasons to take care of myself, to make sure that I am emotionally, physically and mentally healthy. There are some life changes that can quickly put everything in your life into perspective.
To thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.. – Shakespeare