I’ve come so far from there I’ve been
Walked down those roads
I’ll never be again.
And as I smile and laugh inside
It’s taken hard work
And many tears to hide.
But now a new day calls my heart
And the joy bubbles up
From almost every part.
Oh yes, I have traveled near and far
Miles of road under foot
What I want is where we are. – Ada
Why do you visit here if you don’t want me at all?
Why visit me and go down this Hall?
Why do you read this many times a day,
can you really be interested in what I say?
You said you didn’t want me over and over, and now it seems you look for me now over your shoulder.
Well if you wanted me to stay you shouldn’t have made me go,
but I shouldn’t have to tell you that, you’re old enough to know.
So why do you visit and read these words? why are you so interested in my worlds?
Why are you so curious, what do seek?
Silently reading the screen yet refusing to speak.
Well go on, read If It Makes You Happy,
sometimes I write thoughtful, sometimes sappy.
Maybe your here to try to fill the hole.
Your face lit up while you chew your skoal.
You’ll always think of me because I got in your blood,
And when the memories come, the tears fall like a flood.
Oh yes you’ll look for me in every face and set of eyes,
It echoes and aches, those last goodbyes.
So as you would say it is a public forum, with all that being said there is no decorum. So read, read to your heart’s content
That way you know about what to Lament.
My life is good and wonderful with a great big smile,
Don’t bother asking if you cross my mind every once in awhile.
I do still wonder if you hate me so much, why you come here to read and atill crave my touch.
But to each his own, and we have parted ways.
And yet you’ll still think of me all these days.
Maybe next time you’ll remember to be kinder,
So let this loss now be your reminder.
So read read and drink up the my thoughts, as what you read ties your stomach in knots. And yet a tear down One Cheek Falls,
As you look at your phone to check the calls.
The silence in the night echoes your heart, there’s no getting away from it, no matter how smart.
You can try and try and try even harder,
but that heartache will stay with you no matter what you barter.
Ada – 4/20/2020
She is fire in the flood
The water in the blood
Her touch burns him to the core
And holds him till he wants more
He is the wind in then storm
The calm that keeps her warm
His eyes see into her soul
Deep where there is no control
Together they breath between a heartbeat
The hope that they complete
Discovering a world beyond dreams
Beyond the leak at the seams
To get through this life
To get through this year
All the battles I won
And lost and sacrificed
So much pain, so many tears
Never thought it would end
And then I am in front of you
This is what brought me here
And after all of it
In your arms I can be
And I can rest
And I can dream
And find peace
One of my favorite poems that I have written, and one of the most requested reposts. Written 5 years ago after what seemed like a bad time for just about everyone I knew.
Whatever Gets You Through
I can hear it in the trees
As he looks at me and coos
What ever gets you through baby,
Whatever gets you through
And in the darkness of the night
When Angels call your name
I hear the silent whisper
Of the heart I could not tame
And the longing stays within me
The turbulence untrue
Whatever gets you through baby,
Whatever gets you through
And it tears up the darkness
And wakes up the cold
As I feel his arms around me
But yet I cannot hold
And yet the daylight comes again
Peaceful in the Morn
No one would ever know
The rock on which I’m torn
See it in the mirror
Hide it from your friends
The restless that never sleeps,
The sleepless from within
And it howls at the moon
As I take a different queue
Whatever gets you through baby,
Whatever gets you through
Now cut it down to trade
Now wash it down the drain
Drink it up with whiskey
But the sameness still remains
Yes in the stillness of the night
A stillness that I never knew
Whatever get your through baby
Whatever gets you through
Ada Burch 5/5/2012
I wrote this back in 2000 after having a particularly bad day. For me it is about reaching deep down, deep where the soul meets the heart, and the heart feeds the spirit. When you just don’t know if you can keep going, when the heartache seems insurmountable…but you tap into that inner strength, the steel frame and you push yourself. And by God’s Grace, you pick yourself up and make it. Then you have the Grit.
GRIT
I am determined.
Sweat on my brow.
Heart in my Throat.
I am at the starting line.
The sound of my heart
Pounds in my head.
Cheers ring in my ears.
They say I can’t.
But I won’t let them win.
I will defy all expectations.
All definitions.
All Doubt.
All Rules.
The naysayers will walk away.
Head Down.
My Will silencing them.
They don’t know the steel frame inside me.
I am determined.
My will pushing me to succeed
Down the hard
Long.
Rocky.
Road ahead.
Ada 06/2000
In the silence of your absence
I am acutely aware of the space
Between the raindrops
And the heartbeats of each minute
I have deep knowledge of
The distance a whisper
Can travel in a quick breath
On the thick summer air
In the silence of your absence
I have felt, with keen understanding
The depth of love and pain
And loss and hope
I have heard and follow
The cries of the doves
And the joy of the butterflies
As their wings work their magic
In the silence of your absence
Though deafening as it may be,
I comprehend the bittersweet
Celebration of all the love you left behind.
And I recognize the calling
In the songs of the hummingbird
And I distinctly hear your voice
As the silence is broken.
Ada Burch
9/13/2016
Let your heart break
Let it all go
Just let the tears roll
down your cheeks
Wash it all away
You’re safe in my arms
No harm, no danger
Just peace and calm
So let the salt water
shine your soul like new
If you need the strength
I’ll give mine to you
I’m not going anywhere
Just shatter and I’ll catch
every peice of you
No not leaving baby
These arms are staying
So fall apart if you must
Even steel bends sometimes
So you be weak and I’ll be your strong
Fall apart all over my chest
In this embrace you are home
No need to hide whats inside
So fall apart now darlin
And I’ll hold you till morning
Feeling all the pain but
When you can’t take another step
I’ll guide you home
Light the way of the path
So fall apart like glass
If you need the strength
I’ll give mine to you
I’m not going anywhere
Just shatter and I’ll catch
every piece of you
Bargain Bin heartache
Bargain bin heartache
They go for a dime a dozen
So many on the street
From everyone all the way to your cousin
Hurry, hurry Get it all right here,
Hurry up now,
get it now while it’s hot
Empty your pockets boy
Let me see what all you’ve got
Ain’t she a beauty?
Up there on the stage
And if you hurry up and buy now boy
You can even keep the cage.
Don’t pay those tears no mind
They’ll dry up in time
Just say a few kind words, ya hear?
Her self esteem is on decline.
It’s just a bargain bin heartache, boy
As common as the cold
But just shine her up a bit
And no one will ever know.
Say the right words to her
And she’ll let you inside
Don’t matter if you mean them
Now, you’re taking too long to decide
She’s at a good price
For her age, condition and ware
But to get her out of those clothes boy
You’ve got to pretend like you care.
So get her heartache in the bargain bin
You could find a treasure or two
But you really want to know a secret boy?
If you really love her, she’ll be good as new.
That’s the one and only polish boy
That don’t loose it’s shine
So take this treasure home, love her
And you’ll truly have a priceless find.
Ada Burch
7/12/2014
Running on fumes
I’m running in fumes baby
I got nothing left,
Exhausted and weary
Nothing to be kept whole
I got part of me only
A rip trodden heart
I am here in transition, stuck in first gear
I feel like things are in regression
Runnin on fumes, an empty tank
Ain’t nothing but Gods Grace an prayers
To get me through this journey
Feeling worn out,
Just one more step, I said 100 steps ago
Got at least another thousand on just this road to go
So please hold my hand, I might stumble and fall
Please understand if I don’t always come when you call
But dont give up on me, I beg you please
Once the soul is rested, I’ll again be one and whole
So just hang one with me
Because I am running on fumes baby..
Ada Burch
7/12/2014
Second hand heart
Take care of this second hand heart
It’s been given as a gift
Then given back
Over and again
It was given in earnest
Each and every time
Precious and carefully wrapped
Painstakingly thought though
But ones mans gift is another mans trash
And not everyone finds beauty in art
Or art in a sunset
Or love in returning eyes.
So be gentle with this second hand heart.
Tattered and torn,
But strong for the wear
And close the door softly shapd you leave.
.Ada Burch
6/15/2014.
No regrets
.I have no regrets, looking back on the landscape if this year, on this life. I have no regrets on what I have done and what has been left undone.
There are no words that haunt me, spoken or kept still. No actions that trouble my soul, no undone thrill.
There are no tears that have been dried or kept at bay, or escaping down my cheek from rims of wide weary eyes, that partake in regret.
No longing set free, no feelings left unturned. There is nothing to look back upon, and wish another way from me.
And as I look back at the rim of this year, this long, hard, undone, overdone year, that makes me want a other walk down the path to choose another road.
I am as for all of it, every bit. The complete all of it. I don’t regret a thing am am glad for it all, the good bad and the big and small.
And we were prefect.
As we stumbled through it all. We were trusting and weary
We were slow, deliberate, cautious, fast, we were fearful of our own curiosity and need, Want and illusions.
We surprised each other. We were weary of each other. We were excited and torn by each other.
We were looking for each other, crack by crack, bone by bone, inch by inch.
We wanted to believe in each other, not quite knowing each other, but filling in the spaces with our own developments and experiences.
We were drunk in our love and lust for each other, making love in the mornings or by the moonlight. Perfect in our longing, balanced in our time and our space. Arms, legs, hands, holding on and letting go. Moments perfectly enterwined with memoires, leading down a yellow brick road.
We laughed and confessed, but not quite everything, late night on the pillows and in familiar comfortable arms. Visiting those sacred places together, as we felt with our hearts a long the way.
We drove and ate, laughed and cried, we went miles around the planet, going nowhere, sitting on the couch. We talked of plans and thoughts, and Bar B Q.
We were sheets tangled, we were flushed, we were awake and alive at sunrise, bodies warm, we were arched, and folded in, our hearts stained in kisses. We were long looks and smiles, we were hope.
We were broken hearts, and breathless lust, we were perfectly imperfect, exploring our worlds within each other, learning, stumbling, hoping, loving, running, playing, smiling, hoping
We were sunsets and lighting bugs, long hugs and short messages. We were.
We fought, and we were both too weak with love to win, and so we lost and conquered each other’s heart instead.
And now we are no more.
As a writer it is no surprise that I love to read poetry. Here is one of my favorites. It’s just so beautiful about getting to know someone, and it is what I hope for…Enjoy!
“I want to see you.
Know your voice.
Recognize you when you
first come ’round the corner.
Sense your scent when I come
into a room you’ve just left.
Know the lift of your heel,
the glide of your foot.
Become familiar with the way
you purse your lips
then let them part,
just the slightest bit,
when I lean in to your space
and kiss you.
I want to know the joy
of how you whisper
“more”
― Rumi
One of my favorite poems that I have written, and one of the most requested reposts
Whatever Gets You Through
I can hear it in the trees
As he looks at me and coos
What ever gets you through baby,
Whatever gets you through
And in the darkness of the night
When Angels call your name
I hear the silent whisper
Of the heart I could not tame
And the longing stays within me
The turbulence untrue
Whatever gets you through baby,
Whatever gets you through
And it tears up the darkness
And wakes up the cold
As I feel his arms around me
But yet I cannot hold
And yet the daylight comes again
Peaceful in the Morn
No one would ever know
The rock on which I’m torn
See it in the mirror
Hide it from your friends
The restless that never sleeps,
The sleepless from within
And it howls at the moon
As I take a different queue
Whatever gets you through baby,
Whatever gets you through
Now cut it down to trade
Now wash it down the drain
Drink it up with whiskey
But the sameness still remains
Yes in the stillness of the night
A stillness that I never knew
Whatever get your through baby
Whatever gets you through
Ada Burch 5/5/2012
I want to kiss you
In the rain, with the drops
Falling all over and in between
Us as your lips are against mine.
I want to kiss you
in the middle of the night,
Sleepy eyed, opened heart,
Moonlight shining in our eyes
I want to kiss you
In the monrning
As the sun rises and a
New day starts in the world
I want to kiss you
On the couch while
Snuggling and watching TV
The cat purring in our laps
I want to kiss you
In a ball park
Maybe on the kiss cam
For all the world to see
I want to kiss you
Feel you breath mix with mine
And your arms around me
Tight, keeping me safe
I want to kiss you,
In the moonlight,
Under the stars, hearing the crickets
Along with the fireflies
I want to kiss you
In the mountains
On top of the world,
Because that is how you make me feel
I want to kiss you
Sweet and softly
Passionately, knowingly
Until we cannot kiss any more
But mostly,
I just want to kiss you.
Here and Now
You only know what you read
In the lines of this screen, this verse.
You don’t know that which you do not see.
But yet you think you know me.
A write a bit of poetry too. Enjoy!
Little Slice of Evil
you are a little slice of evil
Of pleasure that ruins
all the reason out of my mind
and plays treason with the heart
You know I know better
and still your thoughts
your hands, your smile
your laugh invade my life
With all your temptation
of all that I want and have
yet to have, but ache to see
your lips with be the death of me.
You are a little slice of evil
that has captured my breath
in your mouth, only to hold the words
wanted to be spoken
You are a little slice of evil
As intriguing as an unopened box
gift wrapped and tied up with a pretty bow
I cannot wait to unwrap.
You are a little slice of evil that
calls across the darkest night
to stir a soul long asleep
and looking for my heaven.
Ada Burch
Moments
And as I watched you sleep,
moonlight dancing across your face
how peaceful your expression
as your breath touched my skin
And I thought to myself
softly as not to wake you
said a prayer to the heavens
with ball my heart
no matter where this goes
or if it ends
let me always remember this moment as perfect
And be thankful for it.
Ada Burch
The Wonder of It All
As I lay with you and sleep
Had taken you over,
I watched the moonlight
Cradle the Curves of your face
I saw the the light dance across
Your body, the beauty of your form
Catching me by surprise
And all I could say
Was Thank God for That Day
That light and That moment
With you.
Ada Burch
The Bench Warmer
There was an old woman
Sitting on a bench
In early Years she might
Have been called a wench.
Simple and plain
Of no social gain,
She sat on a bench next to me.
And as I looked over
her strong layered shoulder
I saw the lines of her face
And started to wonder of the
Stories and hunger
Seen in her days gone by.
And we sat in our silence
Strangers in our experience
Sharing a bench on a cold winters day.
Then she let out a sigh
And with a tear in her eye
She turned to me and smiled
And thank me for my time,
Got up and slowly walked away.
Ada Burch
Love being close to you.
Time runs through my veins
Thoughts of you are in my head
I have memorized the curve of you face
The feel of your lips on mine
I cannot stay away, though I have tried
many times before, I am drawn to you
longing fills my lungs, as a whisper
escapes my lips – when will you return?
I know the power I have over you
It defies logic and imagination
I see it in your eyes as you look up at me
I love being close to you, near you
Hope you feel my warmth
though you are far away
I hope you hear my thoughts
and return soon, to be close again.
Ada Burch
Poem in Works – I have no idea how to finish
And in the quiet of the night
When devils speak your name,
I hear the soft whisper
of the heart I could not tame.
I don’t think I could throw away a book. Ever. Indeed my house is full of full bookcases. And I could never read a book on a Nook. Or Kindell. There is just something so wonderful and tangible about turning the pages, feeling the paper, smelling the page, hearing it turn, seeing the actual print on the paper, feeling that paper underneath my finger. It has been a very long and wonderful love affair we have had, books and I. And it has lasted the test of time, through my ages and phases, jobs, careers, friends, moves, locations, relationships, scrapes and bruises. Yes, no matter what, books will always be there in my life. They have been a constant. Books, and my parents, and a really great English teacher, are the reason I am a writer. Books are magic.
And I love books. There is nothing like opening up a book, sitting on the couch or favorite comfy chair, a big blanket or partner, and reading. Recently I took a stroll through one of my bookcases. The one that holds many of my books of poetry. And one in particular caught my eye on this day. It is called Footprints in the Mind, and I bought it over 20 years ago. When I read this one poem, I nearly cried. While I did not understand, at the time, what it meant really, I understood the emotion behind it. And it reads:
Should I hesitate in my steps
And walk when you bid me to run
Please understand
I’ve stumbled before
When you plunge into the water
And urge me to jump right in
Please understand
I’ve strangled before
And in the heat of passion
You bid me come to you
Please understand
I’ve been….
Please just understand – Javan
From the other side I see myself, looking out into the world. From the other side my friends told me of this moment. When you get to the other side, they said, you will see things much differently, Form the other side, when you get there, you will be a different person, smarter, better, my steel frame forged stronger by the struggles and inner pain of going through it and making it to the other side.
Yes, it is true. And for a while, the other side was this mythical place that I could only imagine. Some where was a cool dry place away
from everything I had seen. That’s where I ought to be, that’s where I ought to go. If only I could get there, to that place where I am happy and free. And then I wake up after what seems like a very strange dream, and there I am. It must be how Dorothy felt when she woke up and realized everything she needed and loved was really right there. They never left.
Oh life isn’t perfect, it never is. But it doesn’t have to be perfect to be good, great even. And when I look in the mirror and see the woman looking back at me from the other side, I see her in a different light too. She is strong, and beautiful, kind and …many more things that I did not see or appreciate. And I see that she smiles back at me, seeing that I too am on the other side. Yes, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship between this girl and me.
And as I stretch and get ready for my life, I am so thankful for what I have been through and all I have seen. My friends were right, it is a lovely view from the other side, and looking back I see what the path was like to get here. Wow. What a journey. And now there is no fear, there is no hesitation, there is only a sense of hope and optimism. I put my shoes on and start off to the next big adventure with thankfulness in my soul, a song on my tongue and love in my heart.
My Lover’s chest
is the perfect pillow
for which to lay my head
to feel a heartbeat, strong and true
to take the walls down and rest.
My lover’s chest is the warmth of a soul
a place of safety
to lay my troubles down
and have a tear wiped away
replacing what another stole.
My Lover’s chest is a happy place
where laughter lives
and late night talks
and where I nuzzle the chest hair
soft on my face.
My lover’s chest is where I sleep
warm, secure, safe and sound
where nothing can harm me
a place that envelopes me
and where my heart will keep.
My Lover’s chest is Heaven sent
reminding me of all the love
all the kindness in the world
that is right at my fingertips
it is comfort and contentment.
Ada – 11/05/2011
You Who Has
You who dried my tears and gently bushed the hair away from my face.
You who held me while I sobbed, comforted me in my fear and darkness.
You who has been kind and patient, compassionate and empathetic.
You who has said many words, but has actually shown me through actions.
You who has made me laugh and enjoy little moments.
You who has told me you are not going anywhere.
You who said you can take it, while holding me tightly.
You who has cleansed me of old dirt and crime left from the impurities of others.
You who has shown me that true kindness still exists.
You who tenderly looks at me in the darkness and light and smiles.
You who tells me I am beautiful and worth waiting for.
You who has more integrity and compassion than most can even imagine
You, yes you, you deserve the best of me.
Ada 11/27/2011
As I wondered through my writings, I found some poetry. I write often, but do not post much of these. Here is a special treat. Hope all who read enjoy!
Bigger than That
You tried to hurt me
with your hands
You try to hurt me now
But my life is bigger than that.
You try to fill me
with your pain and anger
You try to make me
into your world
But my life is bigger than that.
You tear me down
with your words
You try to bruise my soul
with your rough actions
But my life is bigger than that.
You try to contain me
with your pain
You try to make me pay
the tab you owe
But my life is bigger than that.
You try to make my
world stop turning
You think my universe
revolves around you
But my life is bigger than that.
You make this your goal
your unlimate state of control
Because your world is
smaller than me.
But my life is bigger than that.
Ada Burch 4/11/07
You Humble Me
I used to think
I was above it all
This thing called love
I needed no one and
nothing From another
Now I know better
I never wanted to want
Or need to need
Now I can sleep for it
You made me see
There is much more
You humble me.
Ada Burch
8/10/09
Time Still
Oh it seems like forever
since I have hard your voice
touched your face
seen you.
But is has only been a little while.
Why must time stand still
why can it not move me past
the days of missing you?
As life goes on
my heart has stopped
beating forwondering
where you are are
I wonder of your return
or are you sailing further away?
Certainly what was felt was
Not one sided.
I am in your heart and on
your mind, invading your thoughts
just as you are me.
Time is still until I kiss you again.
Ada
6/11/09
Beautiful Torture
When I look at you can you feel my soul aching to be close to you?
Can you feel my heart beat faster at the thought of you?
When you stand next to me can you tell my pulse raises and I can hardly breathe?
My hands wanting to reach out to you?
I sit next to you and your hand gently brushes against mine
and it takes my breath away.
I hear your voice as you speak on the phone and all I can do
Is close my eyes and feel your lips on my body.
You have no idea the thoughts you inspire in my mind,
The feelings you stir in my soul.
It is a hardship to be far from you.
Excutiating ecstacy to be near you.
Beautiful torture to know I cannot touch you –
Yet.
Ada 8/3/2006
Shouldn’t Have
You can go out with as
Many girls as you can
And you still won’t be able
to out run my memory
I am in your blood,
in your mind
I haunt your dreams
It is my face you see
My name that you call.
And you hate that don’t you?
You want me outside
but I got in there, unforgettable.
That makes you angry
that you can’t outrun me,
that your heart keeps you awake
as you lie next to her.
That’s what it’s like
To fall in love with a girl like me
And if you wanted me to stay
you shouldn’t have made me leave!
Ada ’08
Little Slice of Evil
Little Slice of Evil
you are a little slice of evil
Of pleasure that ruins
all the reason out of my mind
and plays treason with the heart
You know I know better
and still your thoughts
your hands, your smile
your laugh invade my life
With all your temptation
of all that I want and have
yet to have, but ache to see
your lips with be the death of me.
You are a little slice of evil
that has captured my breath
in your mouth, only to hold the words
wanted to be spoken
You are a little slice of evil
As intriguing as an unopened box
gift wrapped and tied up with a pretty bow
I cannot wait to unwrap.
You are a little slice of evil that
calls across the darkest night
to stir a soul long asleep
and looking for my heaven.
Ada Burch
10/23/07
And just because it is fun and delicious…If you listen closely, it sounds like they are saying my name…
We all have a story. Tell me yours.
There was a musician who asked his fans to tell him their stories. He, in turn, would write their stories into song.
So this is what I ask of all of you – tell me your stories. And I will write them. Your secrets, embarrassing moments, interesting things that have happened along the way. And it will all be under the anonymity of this blog – no names will be revealed, no judgment, all secrets kept. I will write your autobiography (or a piece of it), what happened, how it affected you, what you learned, what it means to you. The Good, the bad and the in between.
I have long been fascinated by peoples stories, fascinated by hearing part of what makes that person who they are. What makes them sad, happy, smile, proud, ashamed, human. Truth is I have been doing this for a long time, but usually people ask that I write their stories either in my handwritten journal or just under my own name.
But this is your story…How would you like it to be told?
I can be reached at ada.burch@gmail.com or by Facebook.
In this life, day and age, it seems that somethings are just certain. Life, death, taxes, a broken heart (or two), laughter, tears, good music, bad days, hot coffee, warm tea are just a few of the things that we are certain to experience in life. And yes, even failure. But lately it seems that I have made a decision…that when it comes to my goals and dreams, failure is not an option. That my dreams will be made into reality, and there is no other option.
How can this be, especially now, in “this” economy? You have to decide that you have a steelframe inside you, you have to decide that where you are now doesn’t matter, it is where you want to be that is important. And it may take a while, and it will certainly take a lot of hard work, but you just decide that none of that matters. Only your goal, your dream. And then you get mad, get stubborn and reach way down deep inside you, and pull up that steel determination, that unbreakable Will and make it happen.
Don’t worry about the hard work, don’t worry about the long hours, sleepless nights, blood sweat and tears…you simply decide that failure is not an option, put your goggles on, your head down and do whatever it takes to make it happen. Because you can beat the odds…after all someone has to, why not you? You just decide that it will be so, and you have a sick work ethic, and ridiculous determination, incredible perseverance. Every. Day. because that is what it takes.
This year, I will have a great writing career, I will meet my financial goals, I will enjoy a great vacation (notice I did not say I will learn to spell…you do have to know your limits!). Failure is not an option.
GRIT
I am determined.
Sweat on my brow.
Heart in my Throat.
I am at the starting line.
The sound of my heart
Pounds in my head.
Cheers ring in my ears.
They say I can’t.
But I won’t let them win.
I will defy all expectations.
All definitions.
All Doubt.
All Rules.
The naysayers will walk away.
Head Down.
My Will silencing them.
They don’t know the steel frame inside me.
I am determined.
My will pushing me to succeed
Down the hard
Long.
Rocky.
Road ahead.
Ada 5/00
This is the time of year many get very reflective, including myself. Thinking about the past year – the good time, bad times, mistakes and little victories. There is something so comforting about going home this year for the holidays. I feel though I have been incredibly blessed this year, it has also taken a lot out of me. this is the time of year I tend to slow down and breath. I want to just be burried in my family. They are what keeps me safe, grounded and sane. They are my heart. And to me there is nothing cozier than sitting by the fire at their harth and having their love wrapped around me like a warm blanket. My parents are a stabilizing factor in my life. When I am with them, all is safe and all is good. All of us need a safe place, and they are mine. It is no wonder I am looking so forward to returning to their harth. I need their warmth and thier love to help renew my tattered spirit. Sunday was my parents 43rd wedding anniversary.
They met in 1962. My father was the first person my Mom met in her new department at AT&T, though they had already met previously. For 5 years they were good friends, Mom even went out with a few of Dad’s good friends. When Dad finally did say he had feelings for her, she was surprised and a bit terrified. For 5 yeasrs they had been friends, seen each other through the good, bad and ugly. For 5 years they had taken the time to know each other and feelings had grown.
It was finally my Grandmother Burch who proposed marriage between the two. She said that they were obvisouly in love with each other and should get married before they met other people and their lives drifted apart. Grandmother Burch was convinced that if they did not marry each other, it would be something they would both regret. One small detail was left out. My mother did not want to be married, she was terrified of the idea, though she did love my father. If she planned a wedding, she would get cold feet as she had in previous relaitonships.
Grandmother Burch knew and understood this, so she planned the wedding. My mother had nothing to do with it. She was told when and where to show up, and didn’t even buy a new dress for the occasion. There was no one she knew at the wedding, or she said she would have turned to them and told them to get her out of there.
43 years later, they are still madly in love, very faithful and very happy. Yes, they have seen their ups and downs – there have been issues, fights and problems. But through it all, they loved each other. Love isn’t what you see in the movies. It is not always traditional and can be unconventional. It can happen when and where you least expect it. It can happen to you. It can happen to me (I hope).
It is their love for each other that gives me faith. I know (hope) it still exists somewhere out there, because I have seen it. I have seen that what is built slowly cannot be torn down quickly. That when you take the time to pure a solid foundation of love it will outlast almost anything. It is their love for each other that extends to their love for me…and that is the warm blanket I feel wrapped around me at night when I am lonely, discuraged, feel broken or hopeless. I look at them an know…and am Thankful. 🙂
moments
And as I watched you sleep,
moonlight dancing across your face
how peaceful your expression
as your breath touched my skin
And I thought to myself
softly as not to wake you
said a prayer to the heavens
with ball my heart
no matter where this goes
or if it ends
let me always remember this moment as perfect
And be thankful for it.
Ada Burch
4/15/10
We all go through it at some point in our lives; that feeling of being lost and not knowing who you are, where you are, where you are going or even how to get to dry land. It is a terrible feeling. But maybe it isn’t as bad as we think it is. maybe being lost is actually a great place to be. How? We have all heard the saying, if you don’t know where you are going, any road will take you there. In this day and age of bigger is better and faster is king….Could this possibly really be true? Yes.
A friend of mine and I were talking over the weekend. she is ghost writing a book for an amazing, successful, smart and beautiful man. Who is also lost. He pours his soul out to her so that she may write (what a cool job!). And he confessed that for all his money, success and accomplishments he feels lost…un-anchored and just floating around with no direction. He has no spiritual or emotional home. Both my friend and I have been there and come through it…and she told him what others told us. Being lost is not a bad thing, it means that change is coming….it means growth. When you are lost it is actually a great time in your life. He looked at her like we looked at the people who told us the same thing way back when…He politely smiled with a look in his eyes of “you have no idea lady…and if it’s such a great time, how come it feels so bad?”
Growth and change rarely come easy. You are in a time of transition. The possibilities are endless…at that moment, the world is your oyster…all you have to do is figure what you want to grab. Because what you want is within reach. And above all, pay attention to who you are. Really listen to yourself and your gut feeling. There is a movie called Elizabeth with Cate Blanchett. In one of the scenes of the movie, she is taken to see the dying Queen, not knowing if she will be named the next Queen or beheaded. Her lover whispers very sound advice in her ear: “Always remember who you are”. What a powerful statement.
When you are lost, how do you remember who you are…when you may not even be sure? If you go into the period of being lost with a positive attitude (easier said than done, I know), then it makes it easier and better – and faster – when you come out of it. Remember that it’s not about them, it’s about you. It’s always about you. So it doesn’t matter what anyone says or thinks or feels. This is your time to listen to how you feel, what you want, how you want it. Knowing that it’s all about you will help because when we are lost it is so very easy to become susceptible to what others want. Then we look up and realize we are further off course because we stopped trusting ourselves and started following what someone else wanted. It’s not about them – it’s about you.
Always remember Who You Are. To find out, listen, pay attention to who you are and what your gut is telling you. You know the right way, you’ve just forgotten how to read the compass. Change is coming, so open up and welcome it. Before you know it there will be a clearing in the fog and you will find yourself to be just where you needed to be all along.
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