Living the Dream

The day is getting closer, the plans are being finalized, the vendors are secured, the evweything is almost done. All of the planning and dreaming and loving and the sweet and wonderful anticipation. It is all coming together.

It is almost here, the day I marry my best friend, my partner, my love. The only thing that could make it more peefext is my parents, but they will be smiling down at us. My Mom will find a way to be with me, they will send a sign that says I love you. They will find a way to make their blessing of our union known.

Family and friends will be close. And they day will be ours.

My life is bliss. At this moment, I have everything for which I have prayed. And for this I am humbled and forever thankful. My heart is full.

May the Psalm be With You

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

I went from having this wonderful family to no family at all, to having nothing and no one. And the family that was left did nothing but taunt and ridicule, wanting to cause as much pain as possible. And they did. Until I was broken, so profoundly broken in so many more ways and so many more pieces than I ever had ever been before.

Because I grew up believing that family was everything and that nothing was more important than taking care of your family. And I had done that. And yet there I was alone. And I didn’t understand it all. I didn’t understand how I kept true to my beliefs and values that I was taught and still ended up with nothing and no one. I felt alone. And abandoned.

And I know that I got through it, but there’s so many things that I don’t remember. I know that I got up, handled things, and went to work and ate and breathed and did laundry and drove and talked to friends and everything that’s involved in living. Some memories are extremely vivid, but mostly it is all a blur of “non memories.

So I really don’t know how I got through it except to say I did it by the Grace of God. And I would hear my mother’s voice. I was a shattered, empty shell of myself, but I remember my mom’s voice whispering to me, telling me to remember that I “had a steel frame inside me.” And I clung to that, I clung to my mother’s voice. And I prayed.

But my heart broke a thousand times a day in a thousand different ways. And I wondered how can I have ended up here, completely alone? Because I had given all my time, money and resources to building up the family. I had taken care of everyone…and now they were all gone. I didn’t understand why they were so angry and bitter towards me or why they enjoyed hurting and lashing out.

I know now though: When someone is compassionate and kind, those of smaller intestinal stature are threatened and become jealous. They know that they can never rise to that level. They know that they do not possess within themselves the ability to care or love as deeply. They hate that, and anyone who reminds them of it.

This is not a pity party or woe-is-me tale, it is rather a story of victory and rebuilding, of overcoming great distress and difficulty. And it is a story of redemption and being rewarded by God’s Grace, and Karma.

It’s been hard though, and it’s been heartbreaking, and I never thought that I would have to go through something like that. I never thought that I have no immediate family or that I would be so distant from them. The happiest I’ve ever been in my entire life was when they were all coming to my house, and I was cooking dinner for all of them and it was wonderful. I still see pictures of those times and feel it in my stomach because I know that time will never be again. I know it was such a special time – in a different life because it just seems so distant and so different from the world that I live in and the reality that I have now.

I never used to understand the psalm 23: “though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.”. I never understood how the rod and the staff could comfort anyone because they seem to be weapons. Now I understand that the rod and the staff protected me. Because they are strong, because they don’t break, because they rule with compassion. And if God’s rod and staff weren’t going to break, then neither was I.

Sometimes I still struggle, as it has only been a little of two years. I’ve worked hard not end up bitter, like them. And I’ve completely redefined my definition of family. Now I understand that boundaries must be placed, or your family will destroy you from the inside out. And that’s really sad.

My new definition of family is the people you love and love you the best. I filled my world with amazing people and I’m not alone anymore.

I and I am thriving. And as I thrive, the rest of the Palms makes sense as well. Because He has restored my soul and led me rest by peaceful waters, after leading me through the hardest times of my life. And now, he gives me my dreams, makes them come true, as my enemies look on, reading this blog. My cup is running over with good fortune that He has given me. And Because I have done good and right by Him, he is rewarding me with the kind of happiness and joy that only he can give.

So basically, all those haters can suck it.

Life is short. Do good. Forget the rest. And celebrate hard when your compassionate heart is rewarded by the King Himself. And may the psalm be with you.

The Best Christmas Gift

During the holidays it is easy to get caught up in all of the commercialism of gifts.  And it is fun to buy gifts for people, it is one of my favorite things about this season, but it is not the main reason to celebrate.  As a Christian, I indeed celebrate the birth of Our savior, but I also celebrate those who are close to me as well.  All to often the holidays are also a reminder of all whom we have lost through out the years.

Last Christmas may not have been the worst, but it was close.  So this year, I was determined to make this holiday season good. No, great.  And sometimes that is what we have to do in life.  We have to make a decision to enjoy ourselves.  We have to make an effort, every day, to smile. to be thankful, to be gracious. Because it could always be worse, which is not a theory I want to test after the last few years.

And when we make that decision to enjoy what is around us, our whole outlook changes.  Last year, as the first Christmas without both parents, there was not too much too enjoy, as grief seemed to not only be at the table, but on the couch, on the bed, and moved in completely.  This year, was going to be different, dammit.

So there was decorations, and a real tree, that leaned a little too far to the right. There were also friends invited over to enjoy. Because the holidays must be spent with those we love and who love us.  So it would be my family of choice, And they did not let me down. And more friends over for Christmas dinner.

And so it was Christmas day, and there was a flurry of activity from the kitchen.  One of my best friends and my man, all prepping and helping get food ready.  And there was a ton of food. All kinds of yummies.  I made some of my mother’s favorite things.

And when it was all ready, and the table was set, I saw how blessed I am.  There, sitting at the family dinner table I have been sitting at since I was a little girl, the table that is now at my house, were my family of choice. My best friends who had come to share in good food, good drinks and lots of love for Christmas.

And after the meal, when the left overs were taken home, and everyone’s had full bellies, and all had left for the night, I looked out again mt my wrecked, messy kitchen and saw the best gift ever – love. There it as, staring back at me through dirty dishes piled up in the sick and all across the kitchen counter. And I loved it.

Life is short. Appreciate all those dirty dishes, because that means you have people who love you with whom to share your meals. And love is the best dish, and gift, of all.

Make it Count

Anniversaries often make us contemplate all that has happened in the last year, both the good and bad.  You examine both he good and the bad that has happened.

I was a mess last year at this time. I just lost Dad, so the first anniversary of losing Mom was especially hard. But this year, I am doing rather well. I have settled in quite nicely into the new life, though it was not easy at first. And I have changed quite a bit in two years, changed quite a bit in the last 12 months.  I am not as tolerant as I used to be, but I am more compassionate.  That statement might seem quite contradictory, but it isn’t.  I am not tolerant of people or things that disturb my peace of mind.  But going through the past two years has taught me much about compassion and empathy. The past two years has also taught me a lot about strength. You are often much stronger than you ever thought, and you can handle more than you ever thought you could.

I know that I am much stronger than I thought be or even wanted to be.  I never thought that I could take care of Mom or Dad by myself. never thought that I could make those kinds of decisions myself. But I did. And I honored them. Never thought that could I do what needed to be done.  But God gives you the strength you need.

I have learned that my family is not blood family. My blood family is gone. My family now are my friends. And I can count on those friends no matter what.  They are better than blood because you cannot help who your family is, but you can choose who you your friends. The people in my life are loyal, honest, smart, have loads of common sense and are very low drama.

I have also to be very careful about where you grow your roots – make sure it is good, fertile, solid ground. And if it’s not, move and replant. You are not a tree, you can move if you don’t like where you are.

I have learned that life is so very fragile and short, and so take advantage of every second.I have also learned the value of being still.  I have my roots planted firmly with my friends. And now those roots are growing deep, establishing the foundation of my life. And that takes time.  Beautiful, wonderful, amazing time.

And so I know my wonderful mother would be proud of me.  She knows how hard I have tried, how hard I have worked.  She and God know. And so with her 2nd anniversary approaching, I know that my heart is free as I move forward.

There are still things to handle and accomplishments to make.  I need to be better at housekeeping, and those last 20lbs are still lurking on my hips. I need to organize my closet and clear out the junk drawer.  But life is good.  There are fireflies to watch at night.  There are good friends to talk to. There is wine to drink. There are sunsets and sunrises – and coffee to be able to watch those sunrises. There are soft blankets and good movies. The are comfy couches and kitties that needs pets. And there is much to celebrate this anniversary. Because life is what matters. And we are only given this one, tiny life. Make it count. Make it happy.

The Peace of the House

I done been through too much hell and high water to come there and let you come up in my adult life where I’m supposed to be at peace and give me all sorts of hell. There’s only two places on earth that you’re gonna have peace: the grave and your house. If you can’t walk up in your house and you ain’t got no peace, then something’s wrong.   – Medea, Tyler Perry’s Medea Goes to jail

When I first saw a clip from that Tyler Perry movie, it was like big light bulb went off. If you can’t walk up in your own house and have peace, then there is something wrong.

I have never understood why people let others make their house a place of unpeace and unhappiness. But you must also have peace within yourself and that is hard to do, even impossible, if you don’t have peace in your home. We have all encountered people who will put up with just about anything to hear someone say they love them.  We’ve all known people who seem to have a never ending stream of unrest in their life and are always miserable because they won’t let go of those who are making them miserable. And their life will continue that way until they take purposeful steps to have peace.

How do you get it? I think it is a process really, or at least it was for me. First, I let go of those who were causing unrest in my life.  Anyone who upset calm waters had to go.  But even more than that, because sometimes I can be dense, I had to realize that there was a reason when someone did not return to my life. Bad things happen when we try to force it – love, friendships, jobs, and careers, whatever.  And there is a reason why sometimes people just fade away. It’s usually because that person no longer serves you – that’s the nice way to say it.

In real life, it means that your mentality no longer matches theirs, or your values no longer align and staying with them can cause you harm. This is a lesson I have learned the hard way. It doesn’t mean they are a bad person either, or maybe they are and you just haven’t seen it yet. I have an ex-boyfriend who is a great guy, aside from the fact that he is completely crazy and very unstable (thus why he is an ex).  We kept in touch for a few years, but then just faded out of each other’s lives. I decided to keep it that way because, while he is not a bad person,  I do not want that unstable element in my life.

When another friend came to visit me recently, she said she could tell that I was at peace because she could feel it in my home. I had not thought about it before then, but she was right. I am at peace. And that permeates through every part of my life, especially my home.

My wonderful happy little home, stuffed with love and furniture, cats and aloe plants. A place where I go to rest and be protected from the world, a sacred space for those I love most. I have long said, that which gives you peace will make you happy. You cannot have one without the other. And indeed it is true.

Bahama Mama

In life we have to take the opportunities that come along.  We must make the best of the moments that are given to us, take chances and enjoy what comes our way.  Some people shy away from new experiences and chances, maybe out of fear.  They stay on the shore where it is safe and known, never venturing out or willing to broaden their horizons.  TO me, that is a waste of life.  When we stop learning and experiencing new things, we stop growing,  And when we stop growing, our spirit, our spark, dies out.

So when a friend asked if I would keep her company on a short cruise to the Bahamas she was taking with her daughters – who where teenagers and would be doing their own thing – I yes Yes. And it was great.

It had been about six years since the last time I was in the Bahamas, snorkeling in Bimini. That is also the time I got my worst sunburn ever, and it was worth it.

I flew out Early Thursday morning to meet my friend and her daughters in Florida where we boarded the ship.  Several years ago I went on a barefoot cruise, which was a small luxury catamaran with 5 guest cabins, but this was the first time I had been on a cruise ship.  It was pretty fabulous. There were little umbrella drinks, hammocks on the top deck a little bit of tanning (I actually have tan lines, Which is huge), there was relaxing on the balcony of our wonderful terrace cabin (a great upgrade) and some beautiful sunsets.  There were pictures and shopping and looking at cool things, there was laughter and smiles and fresh salty air.  There was the beach, god food, and lots of fun.

There was singing Adele at the top of our lungs on the drive back, a gas station corn dog, some great shots with the shot glasses included, some great conversations and great memories.

And I am forever grateful to my friend to invited me along on her adventure.  Inviting me to meet and spend time with those two wonderful young adults.  Thankful for the trip and the experiences and most of all, thankful for all of the love.

So take those chances and see what happens.  I promise you will have some smiles along the way. And maybe even some good stories.

The Guide

And now for something completely different.  Enjoy!

The Guide

Some days must be dark and dreary.
But remember those days are only temporary
Days are only hours and not meant to last
soon they pass to become the past.

So take thy dark days and learn them well.
the lessons you learn will be ones to tell
and don’t forget that the sun is only hiding
when the darkest ray of moonlight’s shining.

And shine it shall, dark and gray
as life seems to drag on another day
but just behind the darkest hours
comes the light of dawn with all it’s powers

As shadows run and hide in fear
our heart skips a beat because hope is near
we can see it, smell it, almost touch it
Stick your tongue out to taste and catch it.

How sweet that taste of hope it is
Intoxicating, bubbly fizz
But first the night we must make it through
You guide me and I’ll guide you.

Ada Burch
4/11/10

The Road to Happiness

Recently it has come to me…I am happy. Beyond happy actually. I am blissful.  After a lot of hard work, life is wonderful.  I have a job I love, a lot of freelance work, a wonderful relationship with an incredible man, my family is healthy and life in general, is great.

There is travel this year – a trip the Bahamas this month, a family trip to Belize, a few trips to the beach, and a few out of town wedding.  There is also a wonderful family reunion with all of my siblings that I am so thrilled with and excited to have happen.

And it is all about love.  When you make your decisions with love, when you set your intentions on love instead of fear, magic happens.  I promise you.  Love in my family, love in relationships and love of life.

I have long since said that which gives you Peace will make you happy.  And life is peaceful. And wonderful. And loving.

iIt has been a long, hard road. And I have walked barefoot, in the snow, uphill – both ways…but here I am. Not just traveling on the road to happiness, but it seems to be where I have taken up residence.  And it feels delicious.  Yes, this Spring, this summer, will be spectacular.

The Birthday

It’s a very special day, the day you were born.  And it should be celebrated.  No matter how old or young you are, a birthday should be a celebration. It is the eve of my birthday and I am excited to finally begin.  Oh the year has been great so far, but it seems there have been tissues and cold medicine and coughing all night…that has gotten in the way of my month long observation of the birthday.

And I think back to where I was just a year ago, and how much better life is today.  I think back and shake my head at what a silly girl I was, just  year ago. Two years ago, and I have lost track of the person I used to be.  She is like a distant friend I used to know.

And that is how it is with life, love and the pursuit of happiness isn’t it?  Ever changing, ever evolving, and always interesting. And would we want it any other way?  Think of how boring life would be if we really could see into that crystal ball anytime we wanted.  Sure. it is tempting – that is why psychics are so popular.  But to always know what is around the corner?  No thank you.

Being older and wiser, I still have the same theory on life – always be curious. About everything. Ask questions, take changes, take risks, and always, believe in yourself. And love with all your heart. This theory has served me well in my years on this planet.  We may still make mistakes, have unpleasant happenings, but even those are chances to learn, grow and be better the next time around.

Today is not a dress rehearsal. And tomorrow isn’t promised. So drink it up, every last moment in life. And that, to me, is what this birthday and this year means.  I want to spend time with my loved ones, enjoy their laughter and stories.  Looking in the headlines of the three celebrities who have passed just this week from cancer, makes me acutely aware of how blessed my family has been. Now excuse me while I blow out some candles.

 

 

And a Merry Christmas to All

It is Christmas Eve, and I have to think back on the past year as I get ready to see my family.  It has been a long hard year, one that has seen unprecedented struggles within my family and friends.  I am so very blessed to have another Christmas with my wonderful father, and for that I am very thankful. But this year has also seen the struggle to purchase the House of Mold, discovering the mold and now the process of getting the house mold free and dealing with the legalities of being a victim of mortgage fraud.

And I am so very thankful to have my little house now, comfy, cozy, and warm. It is much smaller than what I am used to, but it is mold free, safe, and a great place to start over.

And with this year coming to a close, that it what the new year represents; starting over. And as my friends post the pictures of their year in that cute little book, I have no desire to post mine.  I remember this year well and have no desire to revisit in pictures. I am just happy I lived through it all!

But then there have been the wonderful moments too. Like purchasing my own home, finding out it really wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be.  Swimming my in pool and watching fireflies dance in the evening sky in the back yard.  Taking another chance and believing in someone.  No matter how many times I get hurt, I just cannot believe that taking a chance and opening your heart to someone new is a bad thing.  Maybe it is the hopeless, eternally optimistic person in me that believes that eventually – if nothing else than by the sacred geometry of chance, it will work out.

I have met wonderful new friends that have shown me so much love and support, even when they did not know me that well. They unknowing renewed my faith in humanity with their compassion, empathy, support, and kindness to someone they barely knew, and was not in a position to repay them. It was a beautiful and humbling experience.

And so I welcome this holiday season as the last part of the year.  And it will end well, I have decided, and hopefully the Grace of God will see that it is so.

To end this year with smiles and laughter, the quiet moments of love and family and thoughtful conversations that make memories that last a lifetime.  Preparing for the next year of my life, as I close the chapter on another.  For this year has been tumultuous and long. But that is no reason not to keep my chin up and stay always hopeful for the future.

 

The Oposite of Seasons

This is the season for parties, festivities, socializing, seeing old friends, making new friends and just a lot of hustle and bustle. It is a season of extraverts. But this season I am feeling anything but extravert.

This year I am feeling very be cozy and warm mama bearish. I just want to be home, or with a close circle of friends. Yes, the invites have been pouring in for this and that.  And surely these are people whose company I have enjoyed in the past. But my couch is so very comfortable and the fire is warm.

This year, after being terrible displaced from my home due to toxic mold, I am more appreciative of e safe place to hang my hat.  I want to make this space warm and welcoming to all those whom I love and care.

And as the pictures of festive parties, pretty dresses, fixed hair, perfect make up and lots of drinks are posted on Facebook and other social media outlets, I smile and click like from the comfort and warmth of my own hearth, on my flannel PJ’s and fuzzy socks (yes, super sexy, I know).

I sip wine and listen to my favorite music, unpacking, organizing, arranging furniture and getting settled.  And who says you have to be and about on the town seeing and being seen to be social? I have my friends close by, still meeting for dinners and drinks.  I run to theirs or they come to mine. It is nice and quiet and small and quaint.

There is home cooking – soups and sauces, new recipes and old favorite, smells and fragrances filling the house. Putting up and decorating the Christmas tree, with all the old ornaments from childhood that make me smile and love my parents. There is eggnog and mistletoe and kisses and laughter. There is the gentleness of starting over.

And sometimes, in the big world, it is good to be small and close.  It is good to make sure that all of our fingers and toes and accounted for and painted pretty colors, enjoying the small comforts that build the foundation of a good and happy life. Sometimes the small celebrations are even more meaningful than the big ones.

And sometimes, when it is all said and done, it is the building of many of those small moments that make a life worth living and loving. Sometimes being the opposite of the season is what gives it it’s meaning.

Of This and Thats

It is the winter season, the holiday season, the shopping season, the everything season it seems. And as life hurries by this time of year, it seems that my writing has slowed down a bit.  Indeed it can be hard to find the time to write about thoughts and life and love and the spaces in between, when you are right in the middle of it.

And so the struggle for balance continues. And I breath, and I let go.

To be flexible, you must first have stability. A solid foundation on which to build. A place where you can move, and twist and bend as you need when life requires you to be flexible.

And as I chase stability through the empty halls of what once was to be, and in the echoes of what is coming around the bend, I yearn to be there already. I repeat the word over and over in my mind, like a mantra, and I breath. And I stretch, reaching for my goals, driving ever more, ever deeper into the life that I want to claim as mine. And I breath, and as I let the thoughts and worries drift away. The house, the mold, the attorneys, the company, the job, the career, the family…

I have started working out again. Slowly, building my strength up to where it used to be.  Slowly, building up resistance and tension, muscle, control and tone. Stability requires strength. And I want to push my body as much as I push and exercise the mind.

And as I unpack in my new home, as I begin to settle into what will be my life, I strive in all that I do, for strength and stability; to be flexible when life throws a curve ball.

And there is a sense of satisfaction and optimism. This year is coming to a close, the new one is full of all my dreams and possibilities. It is full of all the thises and thats for which I strive. And I know, in that moment, that anything is possible, if I hold on and believe. Endurance, strength, stability, flexibility are what my heart pumps with each beat, inside each cell and fiber of me.

The Forward in the Foremost

 We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.– Walt Disney

It is said that in order to keep growing, we must keep moving forward. That we can only attain our sense of balance as we grow and move and learn. As I look around I find this to be true in my own life. But first we must let go of all of the old, all of the bed, all of everything that did not deserves well in the past, to make room for all the good that is coming in the future.

And I breathed in, and I held my breath, and then slowly, purposefully, intentionally, meaningfully, I exhaled. I let go of what was not good for me, and for which I was no good either. It’s not enough to have those in you life that are good for you, you must be good for them too. You don’t want to hold them back, or stifle in any way. So let them free. And when you see them soaring, out in the distance, their beauty will take your breath away. And you can smile and be thankful for them.

And you keep moving forward, keep discovering, experiencing, trying, growing, needing, loving, laughing, seeing, crying…everything-ing.

I think that the power is the principle. The principle of moving forward, as though you have the confidence to move forward, eventually gives you confidence when you look back and see what you’ve done.– Robert Downey, Jr.

I took the time to honor and mourn what has come to pass. And now what is left? Everything. Everything in life is left. And I feel it in my bones that it has worked out the way it should. Life is like that. It is the start of a new week and a new job, I will have a new house soon, new friendships, new adventures with my friends and family. And it is all right there in a place called Forward.

Abraham wasn’t perfect. He failed, made mistakes. But, he would go back, get right with God, and then just keep moving forward. He didn’t quit when things got hard. He just kept on going. And everywhere he went, God was there. God was with him. – Anne Graham Lotz

And I know, deep down, it always is as it should be. And the experiences we have make us richer, deeper, truer people. Our flaws and out scars make us our most beautiful, our most human. So when we do share ourselves with another, in friendship, in love, in family bonds, they see us in all our imperfection. And somehow, their imperfections pour over our own, filling in the cracks and making us stronger.

You are always a student, never a master. You have to keep moving forward. – Conrad Hall

But first and foremost, we must take that first step forward. And then another, and another. And in this Fall, this season, this moment, I hear my own footsteps as they land on the ground. Forward. And it makes me smile, gives me hope and excitement of the future to come. Chin up, feet forward, heart open.

Life is good and full and promising. And again I take a deep breath, hold it, say a prayer, and fall forward….

A Little Look Back

In this world of rush, hurry up and wait, slam it down, cram it in, do it now, bigger is better and faster is best, we get a little rough at the edges. Sometimes we need to take a breath, cherish our memories and just slow down a bit.

This past weekend was that for me. Ever busy, ever checking things off the “to do” list, I took the time to slow down and meet with a dear friend I had not seen in many years. There was catching up, talking, laughing, a little crying, lots of memories and some confessions.

And as I sat there with my friend, I remembered the Me of days past. It reminded me of how both of us had grown and changed in good and bad ways. I saw how in the years I had softened on some things, hardened on others. And it is always comforting to be around someone who knows you, has known you, through all the pretty and ugly. Who knows the truth of you and your history.

Funny thing is that since that visit I have felt more myself than I have in a long time. More confident, happier, lighter and more settled, with just that little reminder, that little look back. Sometimes taking a look over your shoulder is the best thing you can do when figuring out the future.

And sometimes it is also conducive to keeping us grounded in this world where it is so easy to get off track in the rush to fit it all in. Just that gentle visit to say- these things, don’t change, they are great qualities. Because no matter how much time has passed, we always remain, at the heart of it, who we are. We always return to what we know, what is in our bones. Even if we forget, it is never too late to remember.

What is that for me? One word: Truth. No matter what happens in life, if I know the truth, then I can deal with it. Truth is concrete, trustworthy, solid. You can build on truth, it won’t crumble. We get into trouble when the foundation upon what we have built is quicksand. I’ve been caught in that before too, and it’s not pleasant. It’s hard to be settled when the ground underneath is shifting. And we struggle to find footing.

Then we take a little look back. And sometimes, that is where we can find the best footing – To where the to where the truth was and build from there. And that is what I will do – build my life on that solid and fertile ground now that all the untruths have been weeded out. No matter how confusing life can get, a little look back, a lot of prayer and faith, you can find the guidance you need…and make the leap to where your future is waiting. In this life, right now, it’s the new house, my job and career, new chances, new possibilities and… Me.

Hello future, nice to meet you. I have a feeling this is going to be the start of a beautiful friendship.

Vegas Baby

There are some cities that are just made for play. Las Vegas is one of those cities. I have not been in several years; I was there six days and might have slept five hours. There was much play, lots of adventure, laughter, some surprises, some gambling, lots of shows  and lots of drinks. It was a great vacation.

One of the things that I always think about when in Vegas, is just how many dreams are out there. Many people go to Vegas to find their dreams, just like LA. How many young people head out west, leaving the small towns, to head to find their lives, their loves, their dreams?

There is nothing stronger than a dream. Nothing stronger than that wanderlust of what lies beyond that next hill. The dream is what we will work hard for, live for, sacrifice for and believe in. Whether that is to go to Vegas, to have a house, to be a star, to have a family, to be a painter, a business owner, a writer, a singer…whatever. Because the dream is in essence, the Human Spirit. And nothing can triumph over that, because it is God given.

The dream is what gets us up out of bed, and gives us hope, even when life is tough and knocks us down. We get back up and start over if we have to. And even when our dreams change, we still must follow them. We have no choice, because it is the promise of who we are, and who we can become. OF what we can pass down to our children as our legacy. It is our love, blood, sweat, tears, hopes, dreams. It is what we pull up from deep inside. We hollow ourselves out so we can carry what we need to get us there. And we believe.

I never wanted to be a writer, but slowly, as the roads on which I traveled twisted and turned, my dream took shape. Many said it could not be done, many said I was silly, crazy, stupid. I didn’t listen to them, because I knew they were wrong. Someone has be  the writer, why not me?

My dream while in Vegas? To eat, drink, be merry and relax by the pool. It’s time for this girl to have a vacation. I have a lot to celebrate.

Home Ownership 101

We all have experiences that teach us a lot. And I am going to learn a tremendous amount by being a home. The whole process has been quite an eye opening experience, from dealing with the “haters,” to dealing with a difficult closing (the investors had not discussed how the proceeds from the sale would be divided, and argued about it – at the closing), to the fine art of moving items up stairs. I have been in the house less than a week, and have learned a lot already. Like what, you ask?

Well, like how to fix my own dryer. My dryer had a four –pronged plug, the outlet had three. So this little girl broke out the tool box and re-wire the new plug onto the old dryer. Being a non-mechanical klutz, I was very proud of myself for doing this successfully. I can now dry clothes till my hearts content!

And then I managed to figure out my wireless router and how to get the network back up. Yes, me, who can barely work my iPhone, got the wireless network up, though I am not sure exactly how I did it.

Then there is planting trees. Yes, I have planted a small tree or two on the property…proof that I can indeed use a shovel (no one has found any of the bodies yet, so the tree is proof). The fine art of breaking down boxes is also something very important to learn as well. Tomorrow I learn about how to install a top security system, even better than the one I had. I am also learning about installing TV’s on the wall. I have learned the importance of being able to do these things yourself, because living in one of the worst traffic jam areas in the country, my wonderful guy friends may not always be able to make it to the house.  And it is nice to have friends over when it is just to visit. I have learned that I am very loved and so many are willing to help and to celebrate.

As is meeting the neighbors – how to do it, when to do it and what to say. This may sound very simple and basic – it’s just meeting people. But it is a little more than that when you are a single girl, and requires a bit if finesse. You have to make sure you are friendly, but not too friendly – you want the wives to like you. The kind of girl they want to introduce you to their cute single friend…not the kind of girl they have to keep away from their husbands.

I have learned that I am in a wonderful family neighborhood, where the kids still ride their bikes and climb trees, where the parents play catch in the front yard, and where people know each other. I have learned that this is where I want to be living, because these are my kind of people. And if I have learned that much, and it hasn’t even been a week, imagine how much more I will learn in time.

Never stop learning, growing, experiencing and being curious. When we stop learning, we stop growing, and when we stop growing, we die. Always look around and find the next thing to do, see, learn. Life is so big, and I cannot wait!

Feel It

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me.’ – Erma Bombeck

There is a theory about life that I have had for many years. I think that we go about life rather backwards: We go after the job, the money, the house, the car, the partner that looks good on paper, the clothes, the everything of how we want our life to look. We make a list of accomplishments that we want to do and check off our little to do list. We want to run a marathon, or get that promotion, or buy that bug screen TV…and there is nothing wrong with those things. There is nothing wrong with having goals and accomplishing them. We all need something to work for, do and accomplish.

But how we come to what is on that to do list…well, that is a but backwards. Then when we start crossing things off that list, we are surprised if we do not feel different. So how do you make a list that really matters? How do you build a life that really matters and will lead to happiness? Simple. Justask yourself one question: How do you want your life to feel?

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself. – Harvey Fierstein

You may wonder what that has to do with anything. The short answer is everything. If you want a happy, fulfilled, useful life, then you go after what makes you feel happy, useful and fulfilled. Don’t go after a particular job title – unless that job is what makes you happy. How many people do you know who are trapped in a job or career that they hate? You may even be one of them. How many people do you know who love their job and can’t wait to get to work in the morning? Far fewer people, I bet. That’s a shame.

So decide what will make you feel the life you want, and go after those things. Don’t worry about what other people might think. They don’t hav eto live your life, you do.  When I decided to go after the life I wanted to feel, there was an amazing shift and change in my life. I knew that being a writer would make me feel what I wanted to feel. Suddenly things got really clear. No, it wasn’t easy. But don’t let the myth that if it’s supposed to be, then it will be easy. That’s not always the case. Things that are worth working for, are often hard. The hard it what makes it great. And if you really want it, then make a commitment to yourself that you will accomplish it and that failure is not an option.

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. – George Bernard Shaw

Since deciding how I wanted my life to feel, I have never looked back. Even when I made a mistake, which I have made many, I just backed up, dusted off and got back up. If people laughed at me, and they have, I ignored them. Life is too short to worry about what others think of you.

So go after how you want your life to feel, and feel it, every bit of it. Soak it in. And don’t be afraid to walk away from that which does not fit. Distance yourself from people, places and things that do not follow how you want your life to be. This takes courage, and that is where it might get a little difficult. But keep in mind that removing what does not work or serve you makes you for that which will.  Keep those who support and encourage you close and never take them for granted.

Live life with passion, love, faith and feeling. What are you waiting for?

Packing With Friends

Packing and moving can be hard, but with the right people, it can be a lot of fun. While I still have several weeks before moving, Ialso have a lot of stuff. And getting everything packed, starting early, is key to a seamless move. And I have no shortage of friends at my side, helping make the packing more fun and entertaining than should be allowed.

There has been laughter, food, drink, movies, dancing, trying on clothes, taking bags to Goodwill. Mostly though, there has been love. These are my peeps, my besties, the ones I call when I need back-up…and the ones who call me to check in, make sure I am OK, see if I need anything. Because that’s what friends do – they check in on each other. These are the kind of friends that love you enough to not let you go out of the house in a dress that makes you look fat, that tell you to hand over your phone so you don’t text him again, the ones who call you out and give you a kick in the pants if you need it.

These are the friends who are there when I cry, when I am lonely…these were the people who call me when dad is sick with chemo, to see how he is doing, and ask if I need anything – even if it’s just to sit with them in quiet. These are the friends who never attack me, or throw things in my face. The friends who love you at your worst, and celebrate with you at your best. These are the friends who anyone would be truly blessed to have. And I have so many.

And packing has been a blast. Going down memory lane, telling stories, filling in the blanks, making plans for the future. And my heart is full.

Protected: The Calm in The Cold

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Who’s Out

To all the bitchy, difficult, irresponsible girls who dare to set and enforce boundaries:

Setting healthy boundaries is one of the main ingredients in having and maintaining a balanced emotionally healthy life. No matter who we are, there are lines that people around us cannot cross. Wishes that others must respect. There are times we must say no. There are people that, no matter how much we love them, we must love ourselves more, and push back if what they are doing causes us un-Peace.

Setting and maintaining those boundaries is imperative. We must take care of ourselves emotionally…because of we don’t who else will? But setting and enforcing those boundaries will also get you something else ladies – you will be called bitchy, difficult, angry and even irresponsible.

I have long said that what brings you Peace, will also bring you happiness – True happiness – the kind that you feel from your soul to your bones to the tips of your teeth kind of happiness. This is because there can be no true happiness if there is constant turmoil and drama. There can be no true happiness without Peace. And even those who say they love us very much can make you very unhappy and your life un-Peaceful.

In this year of 2014, the 411st year of my life, I have passionately decided that I will only have those who bring me Peace and harmony in my life. Those who cause drama, unrest and turmoil…will simply be out. If someone causes me un-peace, that doesn’t make them a bad person, it just means that they are not a good person to have around me.

Since I have become stern in my enforcement of healthy boundaries in my life, I have been accused of many things. And to all those with the accusations I proudly say – YES I AM…now get the Hell out. Why? Because if being healthy makes a woman an angry, difficult bitch…then sign me up and call me the president of the club.

When you enforce what is healthy for you and your life, when you stick to your guns and what brings you peace, and others criticize you for it – that is emotional bullying. And no one likes a bully. When I say that I want Peace, and some else’s need for whatever is more important than my Peace…that person is no longer healthy for me to have in my life. OK, No harm, no foul…until the bullying starts.

What is emotional bullying? Emotionally bullying is when you enforce what is good and healthy in your life, and the other person tries to put the blame on you, tries to make you feel guilty or refuses to take responsibility for their part, and instead tries to deflect on you. When they make you miserable for your decision to live a healthy life and enforcing healthy boundaries, out them. After all, if they didn’t want to be put out, then they should have respected your boundaries in the first place. Sound a little strong? Think of the consequences if you listen to them and let them convince you that you are wrong.

So ladies, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself emotionally. And don’t worry about those things that they say. You are not being selfish, angry or even difficult – you are being proactive and healthy for your own life. You are being the opposite of co-dependent. It is one your most basic human rights, to be allowed to be happy and have a Peaceful life. Let those bullies go somewhere else and pick on someone their own size…Find people who respect who you are and the limits you set – whether it’s for work, for relationships, for friendships for anything.

Taking Care of the Birthday Girl

It‘s the start of a new year, and it’s my birthday month. Both reasons to celebrate. Looking back on the past year though, a pattern seems to emerge. Last year was all about taking care of everyone – Lots of family, friends, even animals. The only problem was that no one was taking care of me., including myself. And that is not good. When you do not take care of yourself, then you get run down and tired. You truly do not have much left to offer at the end of the day because you are so exhausted.

Last year was such a difficult year, because I carried the weight of many people. I carried their troubles, their secrets, their debt, their lives…and it was exhausting. Now that I am free of such things, now that everyone is standing on their own, it is time for me to focus in on…me.

And now, at the start of this New Year, this new age, it is time to make some changes. So this year, 2014, age 41, shall be about me. And not in the selfish don’t care about anyone else but me way, but the, I am going to take care of myself way. What does this mean exactly?

It means I take a look at what I want and what I want my life to be. What kinds of people and things do I want in it? How do I want it to feel? What do I want to wake up to every morning, and how do I want to go to sleep every night. What do I want my life to be filled with in my waking hours?

It means that I will learn to say no, when saying yes is to my own detriment (except when it comes to chocolate). It means that I will let go of those who bring stress and unnecessary drama in my life. I will get enough sleep and exercise, something which has not happened since the beginning of the year. I will eat well and healthy. And I will make sure that I have enough emotionally, physically and mentally to give only to those who deserve it. But all that requires me to take care of myself first.

I have learned a huge lesson this past year. I got so caught up in trying to help everyone, trying to make sure that everyone else was OK, and trying to please everyone else, that I forgot to please and take care of myself. The result is that by the end of the year, I was tired and frazzled. No more people pleasing.

This is my time, this is my year. We write the story of our lives. We determine how the story goes.  So there will be much laughter, love, freedom, work, writing, passion, and everything in my year. And I’ll do it my way.

“This above all: to thine own self be true,. And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man. “- Shakespeare

When you are true to yourself, you take care of yourself.

Letter to Patsy

She was my 2nd mother. A spirited force to be reckoned with. And a tough as nails, loyal and kind soul. And now she has passed, and the world is a bit duller. There are so many things left to say to her,  And here they are. My Letter to My 2nd Mother.

Dear Patsy,

I can’t believe you’re gone. It may sound silly, but I always thought you would be there, I just could not ever imagine a world where you were not there. Now that the time in here, it just seems so strange. Death is final. And I think that is what hurts the most.

The last time I saw you, you were so beautiful, you almost looked like an angel. A stubborn angel that I loved dearly. Your eyes were brighter than I had seen them on quite a while.  I remember visiting you at the nursery, and hearing your voice and that Tennessee accent. I loved your accent. I loved your common sense way of looking at things. I just loved you.

I remember you asking me if I was ever going to get married ( you always asked me that). I just smiled and said who knows? And I remember you telling me that there is no shame in not ever getting married. And I knew you were right. But you were the first person to ever really tell me that. And I believed you. But I know you wanted me to, because I know you wanted me to be happy, and to someday settle down. Well, I’ve met him Patsy. I’ve met the one. And yes, I will marry him,, if he’ll have me. I couldn’t wait to tell you.

I remember you watching over me and Karen when we thought we were all grown up renting your house. How silly we young girls were, and how blessed we were to have you watching out for us. Making sure we took care of things, didn’t get too crazy and didn’t let our friends drive our cars.

And I think you were one of the only ones who truly understood what happened at the wedding. And what it all did to me. Your kind words and compassion carried me through many a heartache over that. I knew you knew that ache too. And you understood my tears. I loved you for that. And I loved that no matter what, you would always be my 2nd mother.

You were such a hard worker, and loyal top the core. I remember when you shut your business down to sit with my mother in the hospital when she was so sick. You just sat there with her, and watched over her so she would not be alone. You knew you didn’t even have to speak. I cannot tell you how much that meant to me that you were there. Or how much that meant to my mother. We will never forget it.

And she told me what you said about tying her shoes. And the baby Ruth! I laughed.

And somehow, you raised 4 children on your own – Three boys, one girl. Three young wild southern boys, and one strong willed girl. And you kept all of them in line. They knew you meant what you said and that they would respect their mother. How did you do it? You worked so hard. I always respected you so much for that. I thought you were amazing. And tough. I wish I could have told you how much I thought of you.

And out spoken!  No one had to wonder what you thought or how you felt. And you didn’t give a flying flip if they didn’t like it. I loved that about you. I trusted you for that reason too.

I wish I could have sat with you, just one more time, and had a conversation with you. I would have loved to have known what you thought about things now. No doubt you would have been full of advice – sprinkled with wit and wisdom as your words always were.

I do remember you getting after me for keeping the freezer door open during that hot summer. And you were right – but it was so hot!  And I know you thought of me as strange; this spirited girl, with all the boyfriends, and the weird ways. But you loved me too. Just as I am – strange, clumsy and awkward me. I can only imagine how many times you just shook your head when it came to me, how exasperated you were over the years. How many times you laughed at my odd ways of thinking when I wasn’t looking. How many times you asked my mother about me, and chuckled at her answers.

But I wanted you to know how much you have meant to me over the years. How your watchful eye has meant so much to me. And the affect you have had on me and my life. You will forever be a part of my youth. A wonderful part of growing up, of coming back home, of being loved. And I will miss you. And I will always love you.

Your 2nd daughter,

Ada

A Moment

It is the rush of the holidays, with all the shopping, parties, dinners, decorating and family get-togethers. It is a time that we seem to rush around, hardly time to do anything besides get to the next thing we have to do. And this holiday season seems to be busier than those past.

But last night I took a walk in my quiet little neighborhood. I listened to the silence of the evening, looked at the lights and Christmas decorations that were around. There were children playing in the distance, laughing and running. I thought about my life, and the past year. All of the ups and downs, all of the events that made it 2013.

And through all of it all, there have been so many blessings woven in, even the bad times. I just needed some time and space to see them. And isn’t that how it always is? Things always seem to work out for the best, and end up just as they should. We just may not ever be able to predict the road that gets us there.

This year I have seen love, loss, heartache, joy, anger, Peace, struggles, having money, being poor, letting go, hanging on, breathing in, cleaning out and rising up .I have supported my family and had others support and help me. When I think back at just what has happened in the past year, it’s almost overwhelming to think of it all.

But I am so very thankful for being here, right now, in this place. It’s been a long road, but Bliss is all around. And it had taken a lot of work. Many think that happiness just lands in a persons lap. It doesn’t. It’s a decision you make and re-make every day. Work you do to keep it every day. But it’s worth it, to do what you need to do to be happy and healthy.

So this holiday season, take .a moment. Pause and reflect. Eve for those for whom the holidays are difficult, take pause and look around. When you do, I promise you will see wonderful things around you . No matter where you are, it could be worse, but it’s not. And the good thing is if you feel like you are at the bottom, there is now where to go but up.

Take a moment, see the lights and the decorations. Enjoy the cold crisp air. Notice the energy of others around you. Enjoy your favorite TV shows, some hot tea, or a warm bowl of soup. Because it’s the small things that add up to making a good life. But we must take time to appreciate them.

So take a moment.

Freedom

I swam in the ocean and played like a child. I did back flips, hand stands and the back stroke. I let the current of the ocean carry me as I floated on the surface. I swam underwater, like a fish, seeing how long I could hd my breath before coming up to the surface for that first gasp of air when my lungs felt like they are going to burst. There was an excitement, an innocents that coursed through my veins as I felt the water against my skin.

At first the water was almost too cold, but then as my body adjusted tot he temperature, it felt refreshing and I was energized. The entire sea in front of me, with all the mystery it holds. All it’s secrets being whispered to me in the currents.

It had been almost two years since I swam in the ocean. Almost two years since I did back flips and let the water carry me. And it was wonderful.

It makes you appreciate the cool fresh salty air of the sea. And to feel the soft breeze across my damp face was pure heaven. And I saw God, in the sea, int he sky, in the everything of the moment. And I knew He had me in his hands and that all was well in my world.

There were hot Krispy Kreme donuts in bed, melting in my mouth from the first bite to the last. There was laughter, wine and dancing. There was the innocence and playfulness of a child. It was freedom.

The Gift of Play

Sometimes we all need a break. A time and place that we can relax, have a good time and play. When we were children, life was all about play. We lived to play; play was our lives. Weather it was with Barbie or GI joe, Lego’s or Connex, it was always playtime somewhere.

But somewhere in adulthood, between the job and the mortgage, hidden under the kids and the housecleaning, around the bend and after tomorrow, we lost it. We Are responsible now.

But play did many gigs other than serve as a way to entertain ourselves. It taught us about society ad how to be social. It taught us about sharing and when I go it alone. It gave us a break and worked out our imagination. All things we could stand to re-learn.

And so it is, this weekend, I am being given the chance to play. I have been the responsible leader for a long whole, burning it at both ends, taking care that everyone has what they need. But we all still need playtime and relaxation, something we never outgrow, I we re truly honest with ourselves.

And so it is, that’s forget my responsibilities for a few data. I have nothing and nowhere that us not Ruhr before me. And that thought is almost as scary as it is exciting but just or a moment. Then the fear gives way to more excitement and relief.

It’s time to play…

Part II:The Dalai Lama’s Advice on Spreading Joy

I had one question for the Dalai Lama. I thought about it for a long time, then asked a friend if mine who has known me for a long time with help. There re so many questions that could be asked, what would just one question be. And he hit the on the The head. As soon as he said it knew that was it: once you find happiness and inner peace, how do you share it to others?

And the question was answered. As u listened to the Dalai Lama speak, he talked about the key to changing the world truly is by looking in the motor…but not in the way that you think. By being happy an at peace, you draw others to you and become on example. You spread happiness and peace to others simply by being happy and at peace yourself.

Such a simple concept, yet it is so complex to grasp and implement in life. But for the first time, past the clichés and self-help books saying take care of yourself first, I got it. It only tool hearing it from one of the biggest spiritual leaders of our generation (why no, I am not hard-headed).

And his truly changed my thinking and actions. I have written extensively about making your life what you want, that you make te rules and write the story. That you should ask yourself how you want it to feel and go after things that make you life feel that way. But sometimes in the daily grind if bein there for others, we forget. And suddenly I remembered.

And I started going after how I wanted my life to feel. I started going after what wild make me, make my life feel the way I want it to feel.

And it feels so good, it feels right and as if t is divinely inspired. Things are falling into place. A better life for my family and me. A better place, better money, opportunities and so much more.

And something else also accounted to me: to be a good least to you must first take care of yourself and your own needs and happiness. Because as I am going after these goals, takin risks and making y dreams reality, I am leading my family by example, showing them it can be done, that good things happen, that then your head and heart are both happy, when you work hard and have faith, go adapter how you want life to feel, you can make it work.

You can make so ting out of nothing. They see me song it, and they can so it too. You can do it if you follow your bliss. What brings you peace, will also make you happy. So do it, go there, even I it’s risky, even if others say you are crazy. Be the leader in your life by taking the initiative to be happy.

And as the leader of the family, if I am happy, I can lea them with love and compassion. More compassion can be held in a happy heart than in an unhappy one. I see their faves, see hope in their eyes, and I know what the Dalai Lama said is true.

New Awakening

This past weekend was one of the best that I have ad in a long time. One of my best friends, who I have missed since she moved away, visited this weekend. One she is one of those friends that no matter how long it has been since we have seen or talked to each other, it’s like no time has passed and we just pick up like it was yesterday. It was so good to see her and we had such fun. And along the way, there was a re-awakening.

We talked, laughed ate and drank. We talked of old times and people we knew, how they were and where they had been. We talked about our lives, our family and our boyfriends. We went to our favorite hangouts, our favorite stores and she laughed because even after several years, I am still clumsy as I ever was. And I told her some incredible news.

But mostly we talked about our plans and dreams for the future. We talk about our plans for our lives, our careers and the lives of our children. We traded ideas and suggestions of how to accomplish what we have set out to do. We talked about our hopes and fears, what we thought had held us back.

And as we talked of all that is to come, we both git so excited, and that is when the re-awakening happened.  A re-awakening of my enthusiasm, my hope, my energy. I have been taking care of my family and it is taken most of my energy. And there are things that I have set aside until it is a better time. That better time is now. And I have much to do.

Surround yourself with positive people who love you, support you  and believe in you. Those who will be your cheerleader and encourage you to reach higher than you thought you could.  And your life will be filled with many awakenings.

 

Falling for Fall

It is Fall here in the south. The weather is turning cooler, with the highs in the low 80’s and high 70’s. At night the air is crisp and cool, promising the cold of the winter to come. In a word, it is delicious. I love this time of year. The air-conditioning gets turned off and the windows or up at night, as the cooler temperatures makes sleeping under a warm blanket a wonderful experience…until you try to get out of bed the next morning. Car rides have the windows down and the radio up, as the cool fall air mixes with  the warm sun to make the perfect recipe for road trip.

The fall festivals have already started, and the leaves are beginning to turn colors. The air is light and fresh, as  are the spirits of those around. Yes, it is fall, yummy, cool, promising, busy and fun. This weekend was a great taste of what is to come.

Family is a big part of my life. My youngest nephew came up with his girlfriend to explore and go to see a concert. Leaving us boring adults behind, they went shopping, eating, concert going and had much fun just being together. But I suspect we boring old people had much more fun.

Friday night were “crack tots” and beer with friends. Crack tots, true to their name, are highly addictive. You cannot just have one of these delicious tots dipped in equally addictive cheese sauce.  Thank goodness they have no calories either (at least that is what I tell myself as I devour them). Later that night my nephew and his girlfriend arrived, and there was much laughter and love.

Saturday was crazy busy, as once again the two lovebirds went out looking for cool things to do in Atlanta. Breakfast was cooked, more laughter and lots of activity around the Burch household. Then it was time for the adults to play, as we planned a fun time downtown. A friend of mine has a brother who bought a favorite bar, so we went down for the celebration. And we celebrated a lot. There were hugs of friend that I had not seen for a=years, laughter, catching up, eating and drinking. There was great live music, an old bank vault filled with everything Elvis, dancing and lots of Johnny Cash. There were pictures and smiles, and of course, several times I nearly tripped.

Sunday brought about sleeping late, brunching and lots of laughter and love

And I have to say that I am falling in love…with this season, and these weekends, and my family, and this time, these moments, in life. I am falling for Fall. And it is wonderfully delicious!

The Life of Family

When you have family living with you, life changes a bit from living on your own. You see it in movies, and it’s true. There are all kinds of interesting and funny moments. And considering at any time in the past moments I could have had 5 people and 7 cats, the soil has been ripe with opportunities for comedy moments. Take the typical day:

I wake up to the purring and kitties looking for attention, giving  me kisses, poking my face for attention and trying to sleep on my face. Then, at another point before sunrise, I hear my sister get up and get ready. Then I hear the beeping of the alarm system as she leaves.

After the sunrises, I get up to an entire bed full of cats. As I am in the shower, I hear the familiar cry of the kittens who don’t like me going where they can’t go – the shower being one of those places. I stick my head out several times to so they can see me. Inevitably, this leads them to think, once again, that may be able to squeeze in between the drops and not get wet. Wrong. They try to come in, discover the rainstorm, panic and run out.

Then I notice that the cream rinse is gone…the 7 bottles of shampoo are there – but the one bottle of conditioner is missing. Must be in their bathroom since they ran out (note to self pick up more conditioner at the store).

As I get out of the shower, they have recovered and are now jumping up trying to catch the towel as I wrap it around my hair with playful eyes and little sharp claws.

Next is the sink…and trying to brush my teeth, wash my face as they jump in and out of the stream of water…and then they get bored with that. And as I reach for my toothbrush…I notice one of them chewing on it. Time for a new toothbrush! But the seemingly endless stash of new toothbrushes that are (were) under the sink are gone…Great. (Note to self: buy more new toothbrushes. Hide them.)

If it is a morning where I take my nephew to campus, after trying not to trip over cats racing us down the stairs, we gather our things downstairs, make our lunch and fix our coffee before the ride. There is quite a bit of hustle and bustle.  Lots of tripping over cats, feeding them, and making plans for what do to for dinner. Then it is off in the car, listening to classical music, and discussing things that make me feel very intelligent…mostly.

At the end f the day, when everyone is home, it’s either a sit down dinner, where all the events of the day are discussed, jokes and made and wine is poured. Or a “fend for yourself” evening where we all grab what is yummy out of the fridge. We congregate downstairs by the TV, watching the Science Channel, or up in my room, they sitting on the bed lightly talking while the TV is on and I am at the desk writing. Or I will be in my sisters room, in her bed, she at her desk, and my nephew coming in to discuss things as he thinks of them.

There is laughter, plans discussed and made and just good family time. And many moments that make a house a home. A happy home.

HAve Fun to Be Happy

There is a saying that all work and no play makes for a dull life. That certainly could not be said of life recently.  Summer has wrapped up, fall is in the air and fun is everywhere. The last few months have seen so many wonderful adventures, first tries, new experiences, new friends, lots of laughter, so many memories and lots of smiles.

This past weekend almost a blur of activity with wonderful friends. There was a bike ride on a friends Harley, hot tubbing, dancing, singing, brunching, and topped off with a night of incredible music filled with so much soul it brought one of my friends and I to tears. I haven’t danced like that in a few years. And some of the best places to dance are redneck bars – where many on the dance floor have already taken off their shoes. Club dancing is fun – if you have on a super hot fabulous outfit, if you want to see and be seen, and if you want to meet models…but for just plain, fun, don’t care how I look, just want to have fun dancing, you need a red neck bar. Trust me on this.

Riding on the back of a bike is wonderful. To be that free, to have the wind rushing past you, is amazing and the best way to travel. And with someone trusted it is pure fun. And to do something just for the pure fun of it is something we forget to do as adults. We have responsiblities and haven;t the time for such nonsense. What. Ev. Ah. Always be curious.

Then there was a the roller derby – a friend had extra tickets. Having never been to a roller derby, and being the adventurous type that is always up for trying new tings, I said yes before i could lace up the roller skates.  If you never been to one and ever get the chance to go, do it. It is so much fun. It’s like going to a hockey game. Except it’s on skates. And it’s girls. My nephew loved it and thought it was the best thing since the National Cheer-leading Competition cam to Atlanta. Sitting with friends, drinking cheap beer while in a packed stadium, watching girls on roller skates zip around the track and push each other around was a total blast.

Next was going to a dirt track and watching all the races – formula cars, mustangs, more kinds of cars and races than I can remember.  Don’t go for the beer – they don’t serve it, but it’s a great family atmosphere with lots of cars that go fast and make a lot of noise. Perfect for a father/son outing. Or just a couple sisters hanging out with a friend. And I almost  managed to NOT smile anything. Almost.

In the past month I have also worked quite a bit in a friends shop. I remember my dad having a hue shop and doing a lot of woodwork. As he would work, I would hear the loud sound of the saw, smell the saw dust then hear the hammer or sander. So it was so much fun to go into my friends shop and watch as he worked with the wood and metal, instructing me what to do and how to do it. I helped build shelves.  Yes, I had done this before, but not in many years. And I stained the shelves. And then they were put up in his house, where they will be used and loved for many years. It was a great feeling to have made something out of nothing. To have it be tangible, useful and pretty.

And I have gone swimming in a river, in the woods, where only the locals go. Again, something I have grown up doing, but not for a long time. And I have ridden in a truck, with the windows down and my feet either on the dash, or out of the window, in true, southern style. I have driven miles and miles, gone hiking, listened to the rain on a tin roof, felt sound and been exhausted from pure joy of life.

Yes, I have worked very hard during this time, but in the spirit of keeping things balanced I have done something new. I have played just as hard as well. I have taken pause and time to take care of the playful in me. I have indulged my curiosity, sung at the top of my lungs, listened to the crickets and watched the magic of the fireflies.

And I have let my emotions go as well. I have cried when I felt like it instead of holding back. And even when it was scary, I was vulnerable, and let others comfort me in my tears. I have known the pain of too much tenderness. And in morning, when the sun rose, there was always a new chance.

So play as hard as you work. Take as many chances as you can, as many new experiences as you can stand and drink them up like a sponge. Because you will never get that day, that chance again. And you never know just what treasure you may find.

live authentically., live honestly. Live passionately.