In everyone’s life a little political incorrectness must fall. And Happy Monday! Here are some politically incorrect confessions…may they bring you a smile on a Monday.
Flight Attendants: I really like my flight attendant to me female. I know, it’s horrible and I am a horrible person. But I also like my plumber, my mechanic and my AC guy to be a man.
Discipline: I really think it is OK to spank a child. Not abuse them – there is a difference. I also think that is it Ok to put kids on restriction, take away their TV, iPod, computer, iPads…or whatever if they are not respectful and courteous. I think kids should say Yes Ma’am and No Sir, they should do their chores, and get good grades in school. And I think that if kids are never mad with their parents, then the parent is doing something wrong. Parents should actually be parents, and that means being the authority figure and telling them no sometimes. But I also think kids should be treated with kindness and respect as well. They should be allowed to express themselves and their opinions as long as it is in a respectful manner. And I do believe they should be spoiled…but taught to understand that they are very fortunate to be spoiled.
Manly: I want a man who is manly. Meaning, I want him to have facial hair – because it’s manly (love, love LOVE). And yes, I want chest hair and lots of it. Why do men shave their chest? It feels like you are snuggling up to a Brillo pad…really, guys, don’t do that. And I want them to sweat, that is manly too. A deep voice, oooohhhh, yes please. No fru-fru hair products, manicures, pedicures, whatever metro-sexual thing going on. Rugged. Manly. Afpha-male. Thank you.
Pants: I really don’t like the whole show your boxers thing the boys are doing these days. Really, what’s up with that? I get that it is a fashion thing, doesn’t their ass get cold? Especially in the winter? I mean down south you really don’t have to worry about it as much, but what about up north? And what about…shrinkage? I just can’t uunderstand why someone would, especially in the winter, volunteer to do that. And they say women go to extremes to look good.
U: I remember when I was on the online dating sites (never again!) I was surprised by the amount of men who sent me email to introduce themselves using ‘U’ and ‘R’ and ‘N’…if you are trying to impress a woman, especially if she is a writer…please, please, pretty please, spell out the words “you’, ‘are’ and ‘and’. Thank you. And no shirtless shots please. We know you have a chest…and that picture falls under the TMI category, kind of like a girl telling you all about her cats on the first date.
Baby Daddy: What is up with the whole Baby-Mamma, Baby-Daddy thing? When did that slang become part of American Main Stream English? Maybe because I am a writer, and prefer proper grammar (though I am not perfect at it), but this term just bugs me.
Payment: I really like the man to pay on dates. Always. Yes, I know this is not a popular opinion in this equal rights world, but I am an old fashioned girl and I want to be courted, and I want the man to pay the tab. Thank you.
Sitcoms and dramas: This is very politically incorrect, but I really love sitcoms and dramas much more than the reality TV. There are a few good reality TV shows out there, but I think most of them pander to the lowest common denominator. Give me something inspirational, smart, or where I can learn something, and I will watch it. But watching someone with a bad northern accent get drunk and fall over…not so entertaining. Give me the Big Bang Theory, Bones, Two Broke Girls, How I Met Your Mother, Criminal Minds, CSI Miami, NCIS…something with interesting characters, witty banter, smart retorts, and hysterical situations…and I am a happy girl. I will even put down my book.
Being a Housewife: Here is the biggest politically incorrect statement of all…I would love to be a housewife. Yes, there it is, I said it. Yes I have a very successful career, love what I do, have a great fulfilling life, and I do not need to be rescued from anything…but I would still love to not have to worry about being the breadwinner, take care of kids, write when I wanted and be taken care of otherwise. I would do that in a heartbeat. Most people who know me would be very surprised – they think I am wildly independent, single hearted, never get married type. They could not be more wrong. The most fulfilling thing I could ever do, I think, is be a stay at home mother and wife.
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