Leader of the Packers

I’ve gotten good at packing over the years. Many moves, many house, many states, many areas, many cities and towns. And I have a specific process, one that ensure I don’t have to go searching through boxes to find something.

And so it is that we are furiously packing the house, getting ready for the upcoming move. The new house we bought is wonderful and perfect. And there is a satisfaction in knowing we will make this new house our wonderful hi.e as well. We already have so many plans and ideas. There is laughter amd hope, optimism and excitent we pack.

And then I see it in my Facebook memories; on this day, I was packing up to move here to TX with the ex hospital finance guy. He left that morning, called 20 minutes later saying he wanted to work it out, then later said he never broke up, then even more games after that. Games a d lies, lies and games. That’s all it was to him.

What a difference now, with my wonderful man by my side, helping pack, making plans for this life we are planning together. No secrets, no games, no lies, just us and our love. And there is joy. And trust. And devotion, and so much love.

And therein lies the difference. Life feels better with love. Everything in life is better with love, together with honesty, trust, and commitment. And I feel this with everything I pack. And I pack at break neck speed to get everything ready for moving day there is excitement all around.

life is short. Pack it in and get it out, to get on with life. You won’t be sorry, when you look back at those who left. You’ll be better off, and life has a way of working out. So happy packing.

Fully Committed

“Work hard. Play hard. Love hard. Be soft.”

One thing that is sure in this life, you need to be fully committed to it. Whatever it is. While it may be hard to hush all of the distractions that buzz around us daily, this is the only way to be I order to live a full life, in every glorious moment. (Yes, I do realize that may not be what some readers firth thought about me and being “fully committed…)

For me, when I decided to take on a challenging new project, that meant fun com.itting to it, head down, in order to understand all the technical aspects and be able to write and speak intelligently on the topic. It has been a lot to grasp and much hard work wrapping my head around the product and project.

But it is extremely fulfilling to fully commit and whily be in those moments.

Conversely, it is equally fulfilling in my personal life, a fact that becomes more apparent as I turn off the computer and get in the Uber heading to the airport. Since I was a child I’ve always held planes as magic. Any trip that involved a plane was full of possibilities and wonder.

I have worked hard over the last few weeks, especially the last few days, getting everything ready for the trip. Not long, just 5 days of pure unplugged bliss with my man and his family. A reunion of sorts in two of my favorite cities on the planet, where two of my favorite people also happen to live.

As the plane takes off, the air is full of possibilities. Smell that? That is the scent of FUN and laughter and love, and stories, good food, great company and memories being made. It is the scent of being fully committed to this moment, it all of its magical glory.

And when I return? It will be snuggles with my fur babies and sleeping in my own bed, the most comfortable bed on the planet. And then getting up and being fully committed to working hard and doing what needs to be done.

Life is short. Time is precious. So whatever you do, be committed, be fully in it, be so immersed in the wonderful details that you make even the most ordinary moments your own special kind. Be fully committed to your life, and reap the rewards.

Like rain

Succeed brilliantly so dreams fall like rain.

I wrote this nine years ago and still try to live by it today. But what does it mean exactly? And what do we do to make it happen? First I think it means that we must work hard to hard to reach our goals. But part of succeeding is also failure, because it is when we fail that we learn the most.

And after failures, we get up, dust ourselves off and try again. And again. And again. Until we succeed brilliantly from all we have learned. But that is not enough. You must irrigate and cultivate your work into a system of dreams to nourish your life. Become a dream turbine…creating the energy and electricity to bring them to fruition.

But how? Hard work and perseverance. I am a writer, and if I quit every time someone told me “No” or every time someone else was chosen for a job, then I would never leave my house or write another word. Everyone must face rejection, because no matter how good you are, even if you are one of the best, someone will always be better. Don’t take it personally. Move on and go to the next.

Eventually, you will get the Yes that you want and need. But you must persevere first. And when you do, and those positive answers keep coming, then you will see those dreams. Remember anything worthwhile doesn’t come easy. We appreciate that which we worked hard to accomplish.

Life is short. Have many dreams and make as many of them come true as possible. If you don’t know how or where to start, start anywhere. Trust me, it will happen.


Seeds are planted, watered and given light. The seeds take the nurients in the invironment around them and slowly, and every so gently grow. They grow despite being buried and in the darkness, sraight up, through the dirt, up to the Sun.

And isn’t that the same with us, in our lives? We are planted Where We Are, we take whatever nutrients are available and despite the odds, we grow. We grow into the beautiful and complex organisms that we are meant to be. With a little bit of love, a little bit of sun, and a little bit of dirt along the way.

And that is where I find myself now. Since being planted here in Texas, it seems that the ground is very fertile for all the nutrients needed to grow a good and wonderful and happy life. It’s also very stable ground on which to build a firm foundation for that life to grow.

And something else I found out, is that all the dirt from the past few years has only made growth more possible. As a matter of fact, honestly there would not be so much growth now if it weren’t for all those hard times. Does hard times have allowed me not only to grow stronger in this fertile ground, but also to be more appreciative of the Sun and all the good things around me.

When I laugh now it comes from a deeper place than it did before, when I smile it’s from the tip of my toes all the way to the top of my head. The way that I feel is so much deeper than it was before. I can only be thankful and grateful for all this life has given me, and all the good and all the bad.

Life is short. Appreciate your blessings and watch your life grow!

Little Reminders


We all have those little reminders in life. Those moments were we are reminded of mistakes that we’ve made and to appreciate how far we’ve come since those mistakes. This entire week has been an example of all of those Little moments, culminating tonight into one ridiculous example of a temper tantrum.

All this week, and tonight especially I have been reminded by Little moments of why a crazy ex is indeed an ex. And in that process I have come to appreciate even more the man I am dating now.

When someone is miserable, spiteful, vindictive, and an alcoholic, they lash out at others and they throw tamper Tantrums. This is the main reason why my ex and I parted ways. Long fights of him screaming and cussing, followed by apologies and invitations to have what he called Bear-Goat conversations which he was too drunk to remember later.

He would always come back begging me to please give him another chance after he behaved horribly. And for a while I did. Until I just simply grew tired of his his verbal, mental, emotional, and finally physical abuse and eventually destruction of personal property.

There is a saying that you don’t realize how bad someone has mistreated you until someone else comes along and treats you better. And indeed that is the case. Now I no longer have to worry about being yelled at or accused of strange things, or have in my personal property destroyed. I no longer have to fear what might be done in moments of anger and rage.

And when the crazy ex found out, he threw a Monumental temper tantrum. But the only thing he actually succeeded in doing was reminding me why I’m so thankful he’s the ex and why I’m abundantly thankful for my current.

And then those Little moments I realize how far I have come and how much I have grown since leaving my ex. I have my confidence back, I have a new zest and love for life, and I am happier now than I have been in many years. I have people around me, friends and family, who absolutely love and cherish me.

Another reason to get crazy or negative people out of your life it’s because they thrive on unrest and un-peace. They Thrive and creating chaos that sucks all the happiness and energy out of your life. Because they themselves are so miserable themselves that the only way they know how to survive is to try to make others as miserable as they are. And it usually works if you stay around them long enough.

When you step away from these horribl

negative emotional vampires, you see the sunlight again and suddenly you have energy. You will find yourself smiling and maybe even singing around the house. It is all because these vampires are not sucking the energy out of your life. And when the negative is removed, it makes room for positive things to come in. When you are no longer giving your energy to destructive relationships, healthy people and healthy relationships suddenly start appearing in your life and your path. Opportunities that you would have missed otherwise will find you, because your energy has shifted.

Life is short. Pay attention to all those Little moments when you are made to realize why crazy, negative, or abusive people are not in your life anymore. And when that ex gets vindictive when they find out that you moved on with someone better, walk away smiling with your head held high. Because that ex just needs to move on and realize there’s nothing left and if they wanted you in their life, they should have treated you better the first time.

A Little poem about being a Little wasted

Little Wasted opportunities
Is all I see ahead
Wasted chances and dances
Is what you delivered instead

Crying and promising
All those pretty fake words
Wasted shots, all for naught
Yet all is well in all my worlds

An optimistic heart
Is a begger’s dream
All for fun and games he smiles
And he never felt ashamed

Opportinity chances and shots
Wasted all the same
A financial salesman lied
But he’ll say that she’s to blame

Oh yes, it was all wasted
For the small temporary high
Of all his anger and control
Now her absence leaves a hole

Little Wasted opportunities
Now will haunt him late at night
Ringing in his ears, his words
Of their very last bad fight.

Little wasted words and heartbeats
She left the the man untrue
Because you took her for granted
You’re shocked that she’d leave you

All those Little wasted moments
And yet you’ll never learn
That a woman will never stay
Where her heart gets burned

A Leader is Borne

Courage, strength, depth of character and leadership are often borne from traumatic times. Sometimes in life, we gain strengths and talents along the way, dealing with the curve balls we are thrown.

Someone close to me mentioned that I am a leader. Actually they corrected me when I said that I was not a leader at all. They told me that after watching me handle all the craziness in dealing with the estate, the family, the closing, the repairs after the hurricane and the subsequent fallout, that I was very much a leader.

And I have to say, that I believe him.  I remember a day very clearly, when I was sobbing and praying in a tiny room at the hospital in Dothan Alabama. The hospital chapel was under renovation, so this room was the most that they could offer.  Mom was dying and there was no one there to help or who knew what to do.  My father was too heartbroken, my half siblings were ready to break out the champagne at my mother’s death, and my closest sister did not care at all and refused to come. They all just wanted the money when Dad died.

And I sobbed, and begged God to help me make these decisions that needed to be made, to lead the people related by blood, because I had no idea what to do or how to do.  I begged for God to give me wisdom, Grace, and guidance, because I was not ready to do all of this alone.  I was not strong enough, or smart enough, or good enough, or enough of a leader to do what needed to be done.

And over the last 2.5 years, I have come into myself and my leadership qualities. I have become comfortable with being the matriarch of whatever you would call those related by blood (I will no longer call them family). I have done all if it, some things well, others not so much, but it has been my best. I have led with a true heart and good intentions. I have been honest and forthcoming and I have been extremely tough when needed.

And now, it is coming to an end. And I look back and have to smile.  One of the last gifts that Mom and Dad have given me is the ability to lead through fire,because with fire within me burn brighter, stronger and hotter than the fire around me. They have given me that ability, the reluctant leader coming into her own. They knew I could handle it, they had faith in my and their choice that I would. And that means the world to me. I know that I have not let them down.

I know that if I can lead my way, and those by blood through all if this, I can lead through anything.  I am a leader.  I do not seek it, but when it comes to me I will rise and deliver. That is what I have discovered about myself.

So when times get tough, when you are terrified and don’t think you have what it takes to make t through, trust me, you do.  You are stronger than you think and you can rise to soar above all the minutia.

I sit comfortable in the chair of a leader, of a strong woman, and i=of a human being who can. And you should too.

Life is short.  so is trauma. But the gifts you develop from that trauma, will last and carry you through the toughest of times.