Me Repost

A poem I wrote a few years ago in 2017. Enjoy!

To Be Me

I am a woman,
Real, live, not imagined
Magnificent, amazing, dark
You cannot imagine the depth of me
Or the breadth of my smile
Or the source of my strength
Or the very essence

A woman, phenomenally me
I am real in the flesh
And you cannot control me
With remote, joystick or otherwise
I do not obey, and you cannot
Dampen or darken this light
Inside me; it is God-given

I will not be controlled
But I will blow the rules
Rock the boat,
Tell the truth and,
Call you out on lies
Or shortcuts on character
And misquotes and more

I am not here to please
Or pleasure or serve.
I am here to pray
And flourish
And throw my head back
In laughter and joy
And honor the live given to me

I am here to love
With my whole heart
And not settle for half done tries.
I am here to breath fire
Into this life and
Make it dance with the
Brilliance of my soul

I am here to be me.

Ada Burch 2/19/2017

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“Among the sleepy pines and soft water, where the moss sways in the breeze of the thick summer air, between heartbeats and raindrops…. I’ll meet you there.” – Ada

Being back on Georgia soil for the last few days has put a huge smile on my face. It isn’t Atlanta or even my hometown, but Savannah. And it has been glorious. There is something so wonderful about this old, haunted town that is beyond familiar. This place feels more like home to me than almost any other place in the State.

Indeed, I spent many weekends, in the shade of the squares and around the area – Brunswick, Statesboro, Tybee and St Simon’s, laughing, walking and being carefree. I was in high-school and spent at least every other weekend in the area.

And this weekend, spending time with my love and his family, parents, siblings and aunts, has been a spectacular combination of the old and the new, making memories that will forever tie the days of my youth to the time of my future.

And I am acutely aware of how fortunate we all are, to be healthy, and happy and flourishing in this time. To laugh over a drink at the funky bar, or to sip local wine during a delicious dinner, witnessing the love the flows through the family that has invited me in.

Life is short. Appreciate every moment.

Fully Committed

“Work hard. Play hard. Love hard. Be soft.”

One thing that is sure in this life, you need to be fully committed to it. Whatever it is. While it may be hard to hush all of the distractions that buzz around us daily, this is the only way to be I order to live a full life, in every glorious moment. (Yes, I do realize that may not be what some readers firth thought about me and being “fully committed…)

For me, when I decided to take on a challenging new project, that meant fun com.itting to it, head down, in order to understand all the technical aspects and be able to write and speak intelligently on the topic. It has been a lot to grasp and much hard work wrapping my head around the product and project.

But it is extremely fulfilling to fully commit and whily be in those moments.

Conversely, it is equally fulfilling in my personal life, a fact that becomes more apparent as I turn off the computer and get in the Uber heading to the airport. Since I was a child I’ve always held planes as magic. Any trip that involved a plane was full of possibilities and wonder.

I have worked hard over the last few weeks, especially the last few days, getting everything ready for the trip. Not long, just 5 days of pure unplugged bliss with my man and his family. A reunion of sorts in two of my favorite cities on the planet, where two of my favorite people also happen to live.

As the plane takes off, the air is full of possibilities. Smell that? That is the scent of FUN and laughter and love, and stories, good food, great company and memories being made. It is the scent of being fully committed to this moment, it all of its magical glory.

And when I return? It will be snuggles with my fur babies and sleeping in my own bed, the most comfortable bed on the planet. And then getting up and being fully committed to working hard and doing what needs to be done.

Life is short. Time is precious. So whatever you do, be committed, be fully in it, be so immersed in the wonderful details that you make even the most ordinary moments your own special kind. Be fully committed to your life, and reap the rewards.

The Destination Journey

Travel these days can be a bit dicey. Airlines and short staffed, as is everyplace else, everyone is sick of wearing masks, flight crews are stretched thin, service people are working long hours, and delays are more common than flights remaining. on schedule.

So here I am at the airport bar that is beyond busy, having a glass of wine because our flight has been delayed, again. But looking around, people are happy. They are talking, laughing, and just glad to be in a bar, even if their flight is delayed 8 hours because of tornado warnings. Waiting in line to get in, I met a couple of your men, probably in their mid 20’s, who were strangers that struck up a conversation. About how long they had been waiting to get home. Before they parted, they shared another laugh and hugged each other as they went on their way.

The world, and this country is not as divided and the news would want us to believe. All one has to do is look around in an airport, full of every type of people, with every reason to be impatient.

And I needed this reminder today. After being attacked and called racist because I worry about what is happening in Afghanistan. (I don’t get political on this blog, but if you are a person of faith, please pray for the Americans trapped there, the people who live there and the interpreters and others who helped us. They are getting slaughtered).

But all I needed to restore my faith was a delayed plane in a busy airport. People of every race and every color, talking, laughing and helping each other. Two strangers of completely different backgrounds are sitting talking about their favorite TV shows and movies. Everywhere I look, people are coming together.

How much are we coming together? The two people discussing movies (and now sharing pictures of their children), one is Indian, one is Irish from New York. Across the way, a gay couple, one Mexican, one Chinese, just bumped fists with a black man who approached them after hearing them talk about some common topic. Behind me, there is a Muslim laughing with an older white couple.

Don’t believe all the hype. We are still the United States, United by our people who are the melting pot of the world.

Life is short. The Bible says love one another. It did not say anything about having to be the same race or the same faith or the same political views. It just says Love One Another. And if this busy, crowded airport, full of tirrd people just trying to get home sometime in the next 12 hours is any indication, we do.

The Tree Of Christmas

Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.” – Buddha

Tonight was about decorating the Christmas tree and the house.  It has been a busy week, but finally some time was found for the tradition.  And as my nephew and went through all the Christmas decoration boxes, unpacked the ornaments and decorated the tree, I could not help but feel a bittersweet tinge.

The first Christmas without my father, the second without Mom, and the first without both of them. It felt surreal to put all the ornaments that I remember seeing as a child.  I told my nephew some funny stories about a few of them, and which ones were his grandmother’s favorite, which ones where bought at which places, and some stories behind a few of them.

And the stockings are hung, the lights are out, the Christmas candle holders, candles, figurines, places mats, table cloths and more.  We listened to the Christmas carols as we put everything out.

The torch has been passed on to me – the traditions, the decorations, the stories.  I only hope that I make them proud, but I think they are happy as they look down. I am at the last part of the grief process – acceptance.  I will take my place, as they would want.

I will miss them terribly this Christmas, and all others to come, but I still must celebrate life and love. And I remember how terrible the holidays were last year and am suddenly thankful that is all  in the past.

As I close out this year, this terrible, hard, painful year, I am also thankful for the good times there have been.  I am thankful for the family, for the friends and for the love I have witnessed.  I am thankful for new love and new beginnings in new chapters. I look forward to the wonderful opportunities ahead.  I look forward to kisses under the mistletoe, naughty hot chocolate with friends, and life in general.  This Christmas is about saying goodbye in the best way, and saying hello to everything coming.

And maybe that is the gift of this holiday season, with this tree, and these ornaments and this life.  Maybe it is the chance for happiness and all of my dreams to come true. They loved my with all of their hearts, and loved me enough for a lifetime.  And I will love my life and all those in it with all of my heart.

And as for Me

And as for me, life continues on as has. We all reach a point jn life where things are steadilt headed up, at a nice uphill angle. Hard enough to be challenging so we dint get board, but not so steep it is impossible.

What I want now is what I wanted twp years ago: love and companionship. That which whom I can build something larger than myself. Someone with whim I am equally yoked. 

And it starts with me. So I listed everything that I am which I also want to attract. And here, at the family compound where love is tangible, I have to smile. Love should be easy. It should feel good. It should make you free not tie you down. 

I look for someone worthy of my time and affection. A good man who can handle a strong woman. Someone I can lavish with affection and kisses. Someone to spoil me and take care of me in wonderful ways. Not a fantasy, but real in the flesh. 

Someone patient who will allow me to be vulerable in their presence, because thet make me feel safe. A man with honor who isn’t afraid to walk the line. 

So as for me, I will be watching and waiting, living and laughing until God sees it is time in His perfect wiadom. I want to know what love is. My heart is open, my mind is ready and the time is right. 

The Little Life that Could

We all have a period rebuilding after a rough time.  You have come through the other side of whatever it was ans you are ready to be happy, ready to live life to it’s fullest.

I planted a garden on the anniversary of Mom’s death. She loved plants and it is a good way to honor her, to plant a garden with the seeds she gave me to plant.  I went to check the garden today and there were tiny little sprouts. Flowers, new life, rising up from the dirt and the grime, reaching up to the sun, up to God, to bloom and give beauty. But first that seed has to make up it’s mind to grow, even in the dark, even when there is no promise of the sun.

And so you do. You decide that’s that and you proceed. No wonder my mother loved plants and said she felt God’s Grace and miracles as she worked in the garden.

And this is where I find myself, proceeding. I have the little life that could…and it will be a big life, full of love and everything that makes me happy.

I found this in my Facebook memories today. It was very a very timely and relevant message. While I am nor getting married,  the message is as if Mom reached down ans whispered in my ear.

Happiness is a decision. At some point you shed the skin of the past and you let go of the anger and disappointment, and heartbreak. You decide to be happy anyway. And you do.  And that is the message I got.

 

 

Anticipation

There is a restlesss anticipation in the air for me. A hum of energy and a feeling like the dam is about to break with all the good stuff for which I usually have been working for so hard. I am restless, my spirit is weary, but you must always move forward with momentum. Peace is around the corner.

And this is a highly creative time for me, i am writing so much, it is pouring out of me. Not only here but in my work as well. I am also back to writing some wonderful poetry. I am singing, creating and it is very good.

And yet there is much to do and prepare for the next chapter in life. Around the corner comes faster than we think oftentimes, and I was to be ready.and so I pray, and have faith, and much patience and Grace, and trust, and believe.