Those Texans

One of the best things about living in Houston is the annual rodeo, and the rodeo cookoff. Everyone is familiar with the rodeo, but the cookoff is a another thing completely. All I can say is, if you love Bar B que, it is the place to be!

Rodeo cookoff is comprised of over 250 teams that come together is the spirit of good food to complete for the prize of best bar B que in Texas. Being on a cook team is an honor, there is a waiting list for teams to join. The teams pull out all the stops, bringing in tons of meat, drinks and fun. Huge tents are set up that have full bars, air conditioning (a must even in February/march). And most of the tests bring in bands to play to entertain the crowd. While many bands are local, still more are brought in from all over the country. They range from well known and like locals, to up and coming artists, to even a few headliners.

Outside the line of tents and cook teams, the heavy smell of delicious bar b que is in the air. And as it gets later in the day, more people show up until it’s shoulder to shoulder. Just outside of the tent area is a full carnival, larger than most fairs that make tours around the country.

Getting into a private tent is also an honor, and if you aren’t part of a team, you have to know someone. Fortunately my fiancé did and we were allowed in. The atmosphere was festive and everyone was having a good time. A band was playing and after having a quick drink, it was time to quench my curiosity and taste the Bar B Que. It was fall off the bone tender and so delicious I had to try not to make a big mess of myself. Our group was laughing, talking, eating, and most importantly having a great time.

After a few hours of eating, drinking and listening to the bands, y man and I set out to walk around the tents and eventually the carnival. As a rodeo newbie, this was such a fun experience, from all the wonderful smells, to the delicious food, to the people watching to the fact that all proceeds to go charity.

Life is short. Eat good food, make good friends, and enjoy life. And especially get out and enjoy what life has to offer in your own city. While I love to travel, there is a wonderful quality to knowing what your community has to offer.

Little Reminders


We all have those little reminders in life. Those moments were we are reminded of mistakes that we’ve made and to appreciate how far we’ve come since those mistakes. This entire week has been an example of all of those Little moments, culminating tonight into one ridiculous example of a temper tantrum.

All this week, and tonight especially I have been reminded by Little moments of why a crazy ex is indeed an ex. And in that process I have come to appreciate even more the man I am dating now.

When someone is miserable, spiteful, vindictive, and an alcoholic, they lash out at others and they throw tamper Tantrums. This is the main reason why my ex and I parted ways. Long fights of him screaming and cussing, followed by apologies and invitations to have what he called Bear-Goat conversations which he was too drunk to remember later.

He would always come back begging me to please give him another chance after he behaved horribly. And for a while I did. Until I just simply grew tired of his his verbal, mental, emotional, and finally physical abuse and eventually destruction of personal property.

There is a saying that you don’t realize how bad someone has mistreated you until someone else comes along and treats you better. And indeed that is the case. Now I no longer have to worry about being yelled at or accused of strange things, or have in my personal property destroyed. I no longer have to fear what might be done in moments of anger and rage.

And when the crazy ex found out, he threw a Monumental temper tantrum. But the only thing he actually succeeded in doing was reminding me why I’m so thankful he’s the ex and why I’m abundantly thankful for my current.

And then those Little moments I realize how far I have come and how much I have grown since leaving my ex. I have my confidence back, I have a new zest and love for life, and I am happier now than I have been in many years. I have people around me, friends and family, who absolutely love and cherish me.

Another reason to get crazy or negative people out of your life it’s because they thrive on unrest and un-peace. They Thrive and creating chaos that sucks all the happiness and energy out of your life. Because they themselves are so miserable themselves that the only way they know how to survive is to try to make others as miserable as they are. And it usually works if you stay around them long enough.

When you step away from these horribl

negative emotional vampires, you see the sunlight again and suddenly you have energy. You will find yourself smiling and maybe even singing around the house. It is all because these vampires are not sucking the energy out of your life. And when the negative is removed, it makes room for positive things to come in. When you are no longer giving your energy to destructive relationships, healthy people and healthy relationships suddenly start appearing in your life and your path. Opportunities that you would have missed otherwise will find you, because your energy has shifted.

Life is short. Pay attention to all those Little moments when you are made to realize why crazy, negative, or abusive people are not in your life anymore. And when that ex gets vindictive when they find out that you moved on with someone better, walk away smiling with your head held high. Because that ex just needs to move on and realize there’s nothing left and if they wanted you in their life, they should have treated you better the first time.

A Little poem about being a Little wasted

Little Wasted opportunities
Is all I see ahead
Wasted chances and dances
Is what you delivered instead

Crying and promising
All those pretty fake words
Wasted shots, all for naught
Yet all is well in all my worlds

An optimistic heart
Is a begger’s dream
All for fun and games he smiles
And he never felt ashamed

Opportinity chances and shots
Wasted all the same
A financial salesman lied
But he’ll say that she’s to blame

Oh yes, it was all wasted
For the small temporary high
Of all his anger and control
Now her absence leaves a hole

Little Wasted opportunities
Now will haunt him late at night
Ringing in his ears, his words
Of their very last bad fight.

Little wasted words and heartbeats
She left the the man untrue
Because you took her for granted
You’re shocked that she’d leave you

All those Little wasted moments
And yet you’ll never learn
That a woman will never stay
Where her heart gets burned

Close and Begin

Happy girls are the prettiest girls – Audrey Hepburn

This weekend was a celebration of life. It was the close of one and for me it marks the start of another. I could not escape the symbolism and message of this celebration happening on the 3rd anniversary of my father’s death.  And I could not escape the feeling that my parents were smiling saying to me – ” Enough of this sadness. you took care of us and did right  by your family. You life is your now. Use it and have fun. Go and be happy.”

And I am happy, actually blissful.  I am so happy I am walking on my tiptoes again, smiling and skipping around the house. I am actually humming and breaking out into giggles I am so happy.  It has been years since I felt this happy this light, this blissful.

Moving forward will be easy at this point, because the fog of grief has lifted and it is time for the good times to come. I feel it deep within my heart and even my soul. It is a happiness that only comes from being incredibly sad and seeing the darkest parts of life and yourself.  And when you get to the other side, it is your life returned to you. and in that sense, it is magnificent.

And it is a happiness that comes from within, not from anything external.  Because when you are happy with yourself, everything else good that happens just adds to you r bliss. Until life feels like a hot fudge Sunday with lots of fudge and extra whipped cream.

And this is where I am, at peace with the past and happy with myself and in love wih my life.

Life is short. Never take a single day for granted. And hwen you are in that good happy place, be thankful. Because you enjoy life that much more when you appreciate it and those around you.

And God Laughs

Man plans. And God laughs.

There is an old saying that man plans and God laughs. Oh and god is laughing right now. I had the next year or so planned out. Because we are taught that planning is good. That is the best way to make sure that your future is smooth. But I have learned that sometimes the more you plan, the harder God laughs.

And so, in life, you must be adapt. After the initial shock and knee jerk reaction panic, you settle in and adapt.  You take a deep breath, pray and make new plans for the new situation. Because life and plans and situations can change in an instant.

There is also a few other sayings – that God will place you where you need to be, especially if you don’t listen the first few times he whispers it. And that the everything you want is on the other side of fear. And that you must get out of your comfort zone in order to accomplish anything. So…I guess I have been told. Because I did pray for God to show me which direction to go. I prayed that he give me a path to follow. And indeed he has.

And that is the thing about life and faith and prayer.  Whatever you pray for, you should be prepared to accept the answer. And so I do. I just didn’t think that it would be such a sudden surprise.  But God doesn’t play dice and he does have quite a sense of humor.

And so I go, adapting. And you can always find the silver lining and good in a situation, even an unexpected one. And already things are exciting. After all, I prayed for this, right? And so I must trust the process and have faith. I must know that that even if I do not know how it will all turn out or where…that is will be good. That there is life outside of my comfort zone. And my comfort zone is whatever I plan.  And God laughs.

Life is short. So adapt to changes. Accept those challenges and adventures that come along the way.  You never know what or where they may lead. And this life isn’t given to us just so we can pay it safe.