And as for Me

And as for me, life continues on as has. We all reach a point jn life where things are steadilt headed up, at a nice uphill angle. Hard enough to be challenging so we dint get board, but not so steep it is impossible.

What I want now is what I wanted twp years ago: love and companionship. That which whom I can build something larger than myself. Someone with whim I am equally yoked. 

And it starts with me. So I listed everything that I am which I also want to attract. And here, at the family compound where love is tangible, I have to smile. Love should be easy. It should feel good. It should make you free not tie you down. 

I look for someone worthy of my time and affection. A good man who can handle a strong woman. Someone I can lavish with affection and kisses. Someone to spoil me and take care of me in wonderful ways. Not a fantasy, but real in the flesh. 

Someone patient who will allow me to be vulerable in their presence, because thet make me feel safe. A man with honor who isn’t afraid to walk the line. 

So as for me, I will be watching and waiting, living and laughing until God sees it is time in His perfect wiadom. I want to know what love is. My heart is open, my mind is ready and the time is right. 

Beauty and the Chainsaw

I had wanted one of my own for quite a while but was not since I was not allowed to use one until in my 40’s. Maybe because I am such a klutz that loved ones were afraid I would cut off fingers or even a leg.  Nope.  So, when my father’s chainsaw quit working, I took that as a sign that I needed my own.  Yes, now, the Pinktank has a gas powered, powerful chainsaw. And I like it!  The only thing that would make it better is if it were pink.

So, my wonderful boyfriend and I were out in the middle of the South Georgia heat, at 3pm, sawing through vines, limbs and trees (nothing motivates a man like his girlfriend having a chainsaw). Now it is it is HAWT down there if you have never had the pleasure to visit the area in the summer.  So, if working outside you need to make sure you have tools that make whatever you are doing easier.  I think I lost weight working outside, lifting the chainsaw up over my haed to cut as high as possible, and sweating like a very non-southern belle.

There is something very liberating about being a girl and handling hard “power tools” like a chainsaw. Doing such things makes me feel empowered as I let out my inner Lucy Lawless (think Xena). It is good to get out of the house and have dirt under your nails, leaves in your hair and sweat on your brow.  Not only is it good exercise, but it is fun…once you get past the whole it’s-so hot-you-can-melt part.

And it was helping my parents, who are getting older and do not enjoy working out in the heat anymore (Even though it is so hot in their house they should have a tropic island theme and hand everyone lei and an umbrella drink). So even though it was hard, dirty work, it was good for all parties involved.

And  I still have all fingers, toes and limbs!  (BTW, my boyfriend has been exceptionally wonderful since buying said chainsaw…)

The Secret on My Success

A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others. – Ayn Rand

Many times people see a successful person and which they themselves could accomplish such things.  In my life, I have has many successes, and many failures.  I think the two really do go hand in hand.  Because you have to be willing fail brilliantly to succeed brilliantly. When people ask me about success, I tell them what has worked for me. These are my secrets:

Faith and Prayer:  Pray and have faith that those prayers will be answered.  It may not be what you expected, but you will get an answer.  And have faith that the answer is what is best and work with it.  You really don’t have a choice but to work with it anyway.

In my career, as well as in my personal life, every one of my prayers have been answered. And there have been many prayers, tear stained cheeks or just needing guidance.  And don’t forget to say thank you.

Hard work:  There is a saying that many people are afraid of success because it looks an awful lot like hard work. There is no way around it, you have to work very hard if you want to succeed and anything.  You must have a sick work ethic and be determined to go through as many Nos as you have to to find that one YES that you need.    If you don’t work hard, you will never make it.  But you get to play hard too.

Help People:  I owe a lot of my success to the fact that I will help anyone I can if they ask for it.  This means help them find a job, give career advice, tell them who to contact for what if I don’t know the answer.  You have to help people, because people have helped you.  No matter who you are or what you have done, you did not get anywhere without someone believing in you enough to give you a chance.  You can be the best and hardest worker, but if no one gives you a chance, you are not going anywhere.

You also want to help others because people help those who help others.  And we all need help at some point.  Miss Karma can be a bitch, so make it pleasant when she visits.  Which leads to the last secret…

Giants:  I have been successful because I have had the privilege to stand on the shoulders of giants.  The people who have had faith in me an helped me along the way…I could not have done it without them.  They have taught me, coached me, given me contacts, supported and helped me when I have had nothing to give in return, believed in me even when I didn’t believe in myself and just been my heart.

But even when you have reached a level of success, you still have to work hard.  And you may lose friends, as some will be jealous of your success and resent you for it (sometimes, even your own family).  That’s OK, let them go.

Never feel guilty for reaping the good that you sew. The Karma of resentment will come back on them too. Those people will never be successful themselves as long as they resent your achievements instead of celebrating with you. Resentment is so negative and destructive that it will hold them back.  Get as far away from those  people as possible and limit your contact as much as you can. They will suck the happiness out of you and whatever you do for them will never be enough.

 

Keep people who do celebrate your achievements close.  And cheer them on to.  That positive energy is contagious too, and we need more of it in the world.  Your  inner circle should be filled with those who are positive and love.  And those who can be honest with you as well.  Those who will not only support you, but keep you in line.

Those are my secrets of success. I have been beyond blessed to have the opportunities I have had, the people who are in my life and the things I have done.

The Birthday

It’s a very special day, the day you were born.  And it should be celebrated.  No matter how old or young you are, a birthday should be a celebration. It is the eve of my birthday and I am excited to finally begin.  Oh the year has been great so far, but it seems there have been tissues and cold medicine and coughing all night…that has gotten in the way of my month long observation of the birthday.

And I think back to where I was just a year ago, and how much better life is today.  I think back and shake my head at what a silly girl I was, just  year ago. Two years ago, and I have lost track of the person I used to be.  She is like a distant friend I used to know.

And that is how it is with life, love and the pursuit of happiness isn’t it?  Ever changing, ever evolving, and always interesting. And would we want it any other way?  Think of how boring life would be if we really could see into that crystal ball anytime we wanted.  Sure. it is tempting – that is why psychics are so popular.  But to always know what is around the corner?  No thank you.

Being older and wiser, I still have the same theory on life – always be curious. About everything. Ask questions, take changes, take risks, and always, believe in yourself. And love with all your heart. This theory has served me well in my years on this planet.  We may still make mistakes, have unpleasant happenings, but even those are chances to learn, grow and be better the next time around.

Today is not a dress rehearsal. And tomorrow isn’t promised. So drink it up, every last moment in life. And that, to me, is what this birthday and this year means.  I want to spend time with my loved ones, enjoy their laughter and stories.  Looking in the headlines of the three celebrities who have passed just this week from cancer, makes me acutely aware of how blessed my family has been. Now excuse me while I blow out some candles.

 

 

How to Enjoy Your to Do List

It has rained for the past two weeks here, and today marks the start of the third week, the third rainy Monday.  The damp and cold air makes me, and many others I know, just want to snuggle down and stay inside.  It makes me pay attention to home.  You can’t really go out, so what else are you going to do?

In this day and age of the faster the better, go out, have fun, the more the merrier….there is something so wonderful about spending a quiet weekend at home, nesting about, enjoying the cozy.  Indeed, the fleece lined leggings and fuzzy warm slippers were well worn as I happily hummed about.  The laundry washed, folded and put away, floors cleaned, garage cleaned, kitchen and spare bedroom looks good.  Working hard to get those things checked off the to do list, while balancing the fine art of relaxing, resting and nestling in the covers.

Soon it will turn cold, at least for this part of the country.  The holidays are coming, with family, celebrations and lots of food.  Soon it will be time for winter hibernation – that time when it’s too cold to go outside for much, so inside becomes a cozy escape.  And this year I will have much to do while inside, keeping the house nice while crossing projects off the  ever growing to do list.

And I wonder, will it ever all be done?  Is there ever a day when we look up, and realize that we have completed that list?  That the projects are done, and we have nothing to do?  In a way I hope not.  Because that means we have stopped.  IN life, we must always be curious about our world and those in it.  Not to say that we can’t enjoy being still and quiet.  But we must never loose that zest and passion for life.  We must drink in those wonderful perfect moments, whether it’s sitting by a fire with a great book on a cold night, or hiking through the woods on a chilly morning, or cuddled up watching a movie with your sweetie, drink it up.  Enjoy it.

That to do list will always be there (probably).  While you’re at it, why not add a few things to that list?  Enjoy those moments, drink more hot chocolate, laugh more, watch a great movie, or better yet, wrap yourself in that blanket and good book.  Now that’s the kind of to do list that I would hope never ends.

Break on Me

It seems that the writing has slowed down as of late.  There is a difference this time because it is not writers block.  It is exactly the opposite.  Life is full and brimming and wonderful and joyful.  For the first time in many years, all is well in my world.  Oh, those ten pounds are still on my hops, but they are not really that big of a concern.  I’ll get around to getting to the gym. After the laughing, and wining and watching, and living and loving.

In this life, what happens when we fight tooth and nail to get back to happy and then we find that…we are there?  I don’t know, maybe everyone is different.  It certainly did not happen overnight.  Because rarely in life do things ever happen that quickly.  Most of the time, it takes a lot of work, a lot of blood, sweat. Tears and prayers.  And friends and wine and family and mistakes and steps. Oh so many steps, baby steps, leaps, bounds and hops.  And then, after sounds of l=miles, we see how far we have traveled because we realize that we have indeed made it to “B” from “”A”.

But here I am. I did it.

And life never stopped, the road was always there, the paths we took and trails traveled. And so there is a new project in this life, now that I have come out to the other side.  Things that I set out to do once upon a time.

Maybe it is time to break onto other areas and activities.  And this is where you will find me, in between the happiness and the joy, between the words that I haven’t said, but whisper, between the smiles and hopes and dreams and the all of everything.  Yes, that’s where I’ll be.  And I’ll see you there and this happiest of holiday seasons.

The Art of Staying Put

Be still and know that I am God

Many of us are familiar with  Psalm 46:10,   that says Be still and know that I am God.  To me this is saying be still and listen to the sound of God, listen to what the Voice of God is telling you.  And I have, especially in the dark times, prayed, been very still and listened for the answer. And it has always been there, somewhere, in a quiet place, in a quiet moment. And that voice has gotten me through man dark times.

But now that life is wonderful, do we still sit still?  Yes, I think we have to. This is especially hard for me on many levels. And as I still work to live a life of grace, it is something I struggle with on many days.

And in this time, it is beautiful thing. My life is brilliant and wonderful, after much hard work, lots of faith and even more prayer.  And I am loving every second of it.  But I must still work hard at stopping every now and then, and being very still, and listening.

And enjoying.  Yes, the rich, wonderful, joyousness that has surrounded me, all my prayers answered.  There has never been a time when I was not working hard to be better, do more, be more, working toward the goals that I have set for myself, within myself.

But here I find that I want to stay put, not move to the next moment, the next goal, the next accomplishment.  I want to stay right here, in the right now, in the deliciousness of all these moments with friends, family, with the man who makes my heart beat faster. I want to drink it in, soak it up and be immersed in this life.

But I also must take time to be silent and still, and hear the whisper that has answered prayers and soothed many tears in those dark days.  To breathe and enjoy, because there is nothing to run to or from, there is time to just be.  To relax. To Live. Yes, for the first time in this life, I am learning the art of staying put. And for that I am beyond grateful.

The Happy Coupledom

I’ve entered into a land which I have not been in a long time. The happy coupledom. Don’t get me wrong have dated, even fallen madly in love, but this…this feeling is new.

We were binge watching The Blacklist on Netflix, the best TV on TV. When we realized we were hungry. He created some egg dish in the microwave while I created a fusion of Chinese and Mexican by combining broccoli beef, Mexican cheese and sour cream in a burrito.

And as we ate our almost-middle-of-the-night, lets-raid-the-kitchen-hurried-dinner, I sat on the kitchen counter and he stood next to me. Both of us smacking and chewing, talking and laughing with our mouths full, not in the least bit self conscience.

We ate and enjoyed every last bit….and when we were done, I rinsed the dishes as he stepped outside to smoke. And I did the happy dance, right there in the middle of my messy kitchen. And my heart was full. Welcome to happy coupledom.

Good Night Sweet Boy

He was a great cat, and pet.  The vet said there was not a lot of time, and I knew what it meant when he became more listless and tired.  Ragged breathing and not much appetite, if any.

And so it was, in the early morning hours, that he came to pass not long after I sat down next to him for the final time.  And I am glad that I was there with him, the first of my pets to pass. It truly seemed that he waited until  his human was with him. Glad I stroked his fur during his transition. He had a good life after being rescued, and he was well loved. And he loved his human in return.  Goodnight sweet BoJack.

My Favorite: BoJack Closeup

Kissing Kitties: Olive and BoJack

Bojack an Olive napping

BBoJack and the giant catnipplant

BoJack playing in the sun

Olive and BoJack explore snow

Sitcome Moment #2,549: Life is a Bathrobe

You should always make sure there are no escape routes for house cat to escape, or you might end up chasing said cat all over yard  – in your flimsy bathrobe,  on a windy morning.

Went out to feed the little stray that has been staying around the house when my ca jumped and ran outside.  This is not good, as I had to leave in about 20 minutes so I had to get him.  But I was in my little bathrobe (was feeding stray in garage where neighbors could not see).

Had to jump out, on the lawn, on a windy morning. In my little bathrobe, calling this cat trying to get him to come to me.  Running around chasing this cat, who thinks it a fun game to run fro his human, while holding my bathrobe closed in the wind….

I felt like a was trapped in an I Love Lucy episode. Because my life is a sitcom.

Yes, I can hear you laughing.

Sitcom Moments: Don’t Leave Home Without Them

It was a regular morning, just like any other.  I crawled out of bed, put on some pants and drank a delicious cup of coffee. Little did I know it would soon be a sitcom kind of moment day.

I got ready to take my car down to the dealership for it’s regular maintenance and my sister was picking me up from the dealership. The plan was to grab a quick bite at the donut shop across the street and head back home to hang out and catch up.

It was on my way to the dealership that I realized what had happened…in my half asleep haze and hurry to get to the coffee pot, I slipped on my yoga pants…with no underwear.  Not a big deal one might say. Except that, not being a morning person, and my brain not being fully functional early on a Saturday morning, it did not occur to me until it was too late to turn around and go back home to fix this commando faux pas.

Oh well, I am just going to the dealership and the donut shop drive through…no real big deal, right.  Except my sister wanted to stay and eat at the donut shop. OK, we’ll go home from there.  Nope.  Then, while waiting to hear back about my car, she suggested we go thrifting.  Yay!  I love thrifting.  And it’s not like you have to get dressed p to go to thrift stores, so it should be ok.

And then she saw some cute pants for me to try on.  OK, here is where I had to draw the line.  One simply cannot try on thrift shop pants sans the proper dress, so to speak. So I had to confess.

Me: I can’t try them on today…because (in almost a whisper) iamnotwaeringpanties…

Sis: {small pause} Bahahahahahahahahaha!  My sisters laugh could be heard throughout the store…How can you forget to put on underwear??

Me: Well, I was half asleep and just needed enough clothing on to get to the coffee pot without flashing the neighbors…and then I was still kind of asleep when I left. And I just forgot.  Then realized on the  way to drop off the car…oh shit!  But we were going back home right after the donuts, so didn’t hink it wold be a big deal…

Again she laughed…and was thoroughly entertained the rest of the morning and afternoon, as she picked out more activities to be done before heading home. Indeed, I negotiated trading in my car at the dealership after my next oil change. Then there was the bead shop, where it was everything in the world of beading and making your own jewelry.  Then it was several antique shops, and buying some small pieces of jewelry for new outfits.  And last but not least, there was the wine tasting…and tasting and tasting.

I mean, if I had known all of that was going to happen I would have worn pant(ie)s!  Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan of letting the lady breath and be free just as much as anyone.  But a bit of planning is unusually involved.  There is nothing quite like an accidental day of commando.

Yes my life is a sitcom…or an SNL skit.  I can hear you laughing.

The Life in the Times

For the first time in many years I can truly say that I love my life.  Right now, at this moment, I have everything for which I have prayeed.  True, I have worked my ass of, but I could not have anything without the blessing which I have been given.  And it feels so very good to be here, in this place, where life is again wonderful and where laughter knows no limits.  Where smiles are lasting and my heart is light.

That being said, I still do not have a=everything together at all.  I thin kit is an illusion that people, anyone really, has there life completely together.  We are all a mess, somewhere, in some way, in our lives.

I am doing great work, loving life…and yet I seemed to have gained that other 5 (Ok, maybe 8) pounds that I lost.  So now I need to loose 15lbs before going to the wedding next month.  Oh, I can do, but I’ll have to give up a lot of chocolate…one of my many vices and addictions.  And believe me, chocolate is both a vice and an addiction in my life and world.  Trust me.

I managed to fold all the laundry, mostly, but the floor need to be mopped, I need to exercise, there are about 100 blogs and such that are buzzing around in my head that need to be written down and out of my thoughts.  There is dusting to be done, my book to keep getting together, Mom’s book to promote…and lets not forget about the lawn.  I have given up mowing it, so finally reached a yard guy today.  Yippie.

And I wonder, in this day and age of instant everything, more communication than we can shake a stick at and 24 hours news channels, why can we not et it all done and have it all together?  With all the modern conveniences, we should be able to just Get it done…or maybe not.

I think that is the wonderful, beautiful, messy and imperfect thing about being human. We will never have it all together. And either will anyone else, no matter how together they look. Trust me, there is a closet someone in their house that is a total mess, or they secretly have a fear of… sponges that no one knows about, or they don’t recycle. Or they are horribly clumsy (or maybe that’s just me?). Something, there will always be something that we are trying to get done, accomplish, improve, reach, or try.  And we will never have it done.  Because we are human and it is not in our nature to be perfect.

So stop trying.  And if we ever got it together completely, maybe we would.

From There to Now

What a difference a year makes…or 4, or more.  It truly is amazing all that can happen, all that can change, all that can make you different, stronger, wiser, better. All that can be learned, in that small span of time, in the blink of an eye, that adds up to a lifetime.

Facebook has this nice little feature called “On this Day,” tt makes recalling everything from 1 year ago, 2, 3, 4 and so on years ago very easy.  And when I  look at these memories, I am reminded of all that has transpired from there to now.

1 year ago – I had just found out This Mold house was indeed The Hose of Mold…I was sleeping on my sisters couch, and attempting to make the last chances of a childhood friendship survive. That friendship ended in disaster and hard feelings and a death of sorts.

There was the very new curiosity of a suitor who, as it turns out after pursuing me hard for 6 months,  would prove to view me as nothing more than a burden to be endured, and made sure I felt it too.

Dad’s cancer was not officially in remission, but he had not had a chemo treatment in sometime and was doing very well, which was good after all the family friction of previous few months.

Job wise, I was at a place that was very unprofessional and was miserable. All in all, I was in a terrible place, trying to figure out how to dig out of the hole that had become my life. The digging out had just begun.

And then I look at the landscape of my life now…and I really have no desire to even peak at the last years gone by. That is all in the past, where it should stay.  The only thing left is to say that I am proud of how far I have come, from there to here, proud of the strength it took to walk those miles, those roads, those places, in that darkness and confusion and despair.

I am proud of where there was, and how many baby steps I took, after each heartbeat, to get to the light of where I am now.  Proud of the tears, and perseverance, the tenacity and hope and prayer, and faith, and belief that it must get better. That what is bad and hard is only temporary, and that certainly I could make it just a little longer.

But mostly, I am thankful, so very thankful, mostly because, all because, of my friends, and family and faith that kept me moving, even when I was down and out.  Those who believed in me, said I was strong and capable, and could do it. because I was the one who could take the heat, the one they all said couldn’t be beat.

So very grateful for the souls who held me while I cried, listen while I vented, sat with me quietly, just watching TV, while I healed from all that had passed. Who fixed me dinners and coffees, and tucked me in, making sure I was safe and warm while in this sea of high waves.

But then again, who couldn’t survive, even thrive, with wonderful people around them like that?  I couldn’t have done it without the,=m, as strong as I am.  I am blessed to have them in my life, and blessed, honored and privileged to try to give it back to them, should they ever be in need.

As I look out now, at my wonderful job, great relationship, family’s health and so much more. I am smiling again, writing again (like crazy, it is pouring out). There is a spring in my step and I am singing, though badly, around the house.  There is joy once again. And I know I am not alone.  I wasn’t alone in the rough seas, and I am not alone now that there is celebration to be had.

And that is what this season, this winter, this upcoming year will be – The time of celebration. And healing. And that is the best thing about getting from there to here. Join me, won’t you?

The Dugger Factor

Anna Dugger. A name synonymous with the phrase “stand by your man.” Being a good and loyal spouse is commendable, but there are limits to what anyone should be expected to endure. A recent Facebook post about the topic went viral, and it did start me thinking. Many have criticized Anna Dugger for not leaving her child molesting, porn addicted, cheating, Ashley Madison account having husband. But instead, I have an incredible amount of empathy for her.

One can only assume that a man, or anyone, who can be so despicable and deceitful to those closest, certainly must also be very manipulative as well. That kind of manipulation is successful because it’s so very subtle, so much in fact, that you can barely recognize it changing you, chipping away at your self-confidence, until a large part of yourself is gone.

Now consider that she has no education, and that her family and social circle blame her for her husbands shortcomings. Her parents encourage her still, to stay with her husband and would shame and ostracize her for leaving him. That coupled with the slow tear down of confidence and spirit…She was the perfect wife, sticking to all the rules, and yet it still wasn’t enough. She is still expected; demanded even, to give more of herself for someone who has cared for her so very little.

It is a shame that anyone should be expected to stay where they are mistreated so very badly. While I do believe in the sanctity of marriage, are limits. Maybe we are all guilty aof staying in a relationship longer than we should have, but at some point you have to wake up, take off the rose colored glasses and get out.

Everyone deserves to be treated with kindness and respect, be made to feel like they are valued, and matter. To be needed, loved and valued are basic human needs, and if someone, anyone, whether it be a friend, a family member, a spouse, or a co-worker, does not value what you bring to the table, then you have the very basic human right to leave.

You also have the basic human right to demand that you be treated with respect, kindness and decency. To know that you are worth those things, that you have value in and of yourself, to know that your soul is important just because you exist.

The Facebook post that went viral stated that men are born with power, but women have to demand it for themselves, and that they should be taught to make a man cower in the corner if they need to. I agree. But not just women, though that is what we see mostly, because women are typically taken advantage of more than men. Everyone has the right, and if you must make a person cower in order to escape mistreatment, then so be it. But these lessons have to start young.

In addition to instilling a healthy sense of self esteem, boys should be taught to value women, not use them. Teach them that women are to be cherished. But also teach girls the value that men have, and that they deserve to be respected too. If both are taught, as children, to value the other, as human beings, then the world would be a much better, kinder place.

To know your worth, to know that you deserve to be loved, that you alone, are Enough. These lessons can make such a difference in shaping lives, and save those lives from an immense amount of pain later When both men and women realize the value in one another, that is when humanity is at its best. So I refrain from criticizing Anna Dugger, but instead feel much empathy and compassion for her. She was never taught that she alone is enough.

Of Cleaning and Music

We all have those times where we just have to do things.  It happens every Spring and new Fall. Some call in Spring Cleaning, some call it nesting. Whatever it is, I have the urge to straighten, organize and clean.  Everything.  I am a busy single woman, and I have pets, so every week I do have to set aside time for house cleaning, but what about that deep clean? 

 Oh, to mop, and scrub, and disinfect, and organize, and clean to my hearts content.  Maybe it is the fact that the air is getting cooler, and it is wonderful to have the windows open with the fresh air coming through the house, maybe it’s having the time now that the summer has come to a close.  Maybe it’s preparing for what is predicted to be a long. Cold winter. After all, if you are going to spend time hibernating, your cave should be clean and wonderful.

 And right now, my place is a mess.  The dust bunnies under the bed are fighting tufts of cat hair…and I’m not sure whose winning.  The cupboard is a mess of groceries…which I need to sort through in order to really have a complete grocery shopping list.  My closet is a mess, clothes and shoes everywhere. My drawers are equally a no man’s land, full of unfolded shirts and such.

But as I look around, I have to smile.  This messy house reflects a lovely, wonderful summer. One of the best summers in many years. And isn’t that what happens sometimes – the housework gets away from us as we are off living our lives?  But there is something so cozy and comfortable in doing house work, dancing in the kitchen, and making it wonderful and comfortable.  Oh yes, housework is not something I mind doing these days.

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In my time in radio, there have been many concerts, many shows, many great music experiences.  But this past weekend was one of the best – Alice Copper and Motely Cru.  As one might expect, this was the quintessential ROCK show…but there was also so much more. Not just long haired men in leather pants, the artistic value of the show was amazing.  The stage design, the transition, the lighting, the maneuvers, where all some of the best I have ever seen.  Not to mention, the musicians are truly talents – Tommy Lee being rigged up and traveling above the crowd…playing drums…while hanging upside down and slowly spinning. Never missing a beat.  Hanging upside down.  Amazing.

Alice Cooper going through more costume changes than I can count, a true show, complete with pyrotechnics, characters in costume, an AMAZING guitar player – who is a woman! – and a guillotine.  Motely Cru had girls dancing, amazing energy, no slow songs at all, no breaks and just pure rock. 

These old guys, could really show the new pop artists how it’s done.  Because the young artist today, can’t hold a candle to the showmanship, artistry, entertainment, and professionalism of the artists that paved the way.

I Could Fear Less

And there it was, jetting out just a few feet below where I was standing, and ten feet above the water.  I was standing at a different cliff this time.  And it was a lot higher and scarier.  And one day I will get there. Where I run and jump off, casting fear by the wayside.  But I am not there yet.  My body and mind hesitate before jumping off the cliff, afraid that I won’t clear the rocks that stick out on the way down. A klutz has to be careful.

And isn’t that sometimes what happens in life too?  We know what we want, but for some reason, we freeze up at the last second, afraid to jump or make a move.  Our mind plays out all of the “what ifs” that could go wrong.  So we stand there, at the cliff, so close to the edge that we can see the very edge. All we have to do is have faith…

And that is something that I am working on in life.  I have shed the old skin, the old tasks, the old life, the old me.  I have worked hard to bring my thoughts, dreams and wants to reality.  I have put in my time, paid my dues, and now it is time to live.  It is time for the good stuff.

So here I am at the cliff, of life, of a new relationship, of a new job and everything that is deep and good and safe and happy. While I may not be ready for the actual cliff, I am ready to plunge into life.  Might it be dangerous? Maybe. I could land wrong, crash on a rock, get hurt. But what if I make?  What if my dreams make it?  What if it really  is as spectacular as it possibly could be?  What if…?

So here I jump, hesitation behind me, air rushing past my ears, holding my breath, wonderfully waiting for that wonderful moment when I feel the water around me and know that I have made it. When I know that I am submerged into everything I want and have worked so hard to build. And I could fear less.

In the Distance

There is a distance

In my mind and soul

Calling out to you

I breathe it in and let it go.

Have you ever wondered

And wanted, aching

To know what you

Don’t know?

Sitcom Moment #2,397: Murphy’s Sole

Murphy’s Sole

Murphy. I don’t much care for him, though I am sure he was a likable enough guy.  Which Murphy you might ask?  None other than, Captain Edward A. Murphy, Jr., a former pilot and aerospace engineer, and the man credited with coming up with that famous anything that can go wrong will Law (http://www.thestar.com/news/2009/01/11/the_man_behind_murphys_law.html). Murphy’s Law, which originated in 1949, when a group of  Air Force scientists and engineers were trying to determine just how any Gs a human being could survive, has ruled my life on many occasion.  The most recent being this past week.

It started out as a normal day, I got up, made coffee, listened to the news.  That was as normal as it got…I was to start a new project downtown that day and I found out that I needed to do a few things online like print a temporary badge until the real one came in.  Problem #1 – my internet was down. Problem #2 – no power cable to my printer.  Off to Kinkos, wait for them to iopen, pay to print out 2 sheet badge.  This little excursion set me back a few minutes, and as anyone who has driven in Atlanta traffic knows, a few minutes can kill an otherwise tolerable commute.

An hour and a half later, I was still sitting in traffic when the idea of skipping traffic and taking the train seemed like a good idea.  And indeed it was.  Except that on my way to the train from my car, the heel of my shoe collapses.  And down I went, face first, on the pavement.  Embarrassing yes, but considering how many times a week I fall, trip, spill, fumble and foible, not the end of the world.

I can fake it, I thought.  I can just walk on the ball of my foot, and balance with the other.  And I did, like a boss.  I walked on the right foot, balanced on the left. Only a few times did I almost topple…which happens in good shoes on flat ground.

And that worked.  Until it was time for my welcome lunch, where the team walked 3.5 blocks on that wonderful. beautiful day.  And on the 3.5 block walk back, that is when it happened.  The heel finally completely broke.  It was barely dangling on by the sole.  There was no faking that…After a good laugh, I ripped it off and hobbled back to the building and my desk.

Thank goodness I had some lacey little slip ons so I didn’t have to  go barefoot on my first day. I did, however, have to walk 3 blocks back to the train station, hobbling on 1 good shoes and one missing heel.  2 hours later, because traffic is special in this town, I was finally home.

First day complete – Check.  First fall on the new job – Check. Embarrassing moments – check, check and check.

Yes, my life is a sitcom.

The Simple Things

It happens to all of us at some point, feeling overwhelmed, or worried, or terrified and frusterated.  We look around and suddenly everything we thought was uder control, isn’t.  And ilife looks like a cross between a war zone and a construction site as we run around trying to get everything back in order.

That’s when we need to pause and take a breath, eat a Twix or just sit a moment. When things in life seem unmanageable and overwhelming, go back to the basics, the simple things. Go back to what grounds us, makes us smile, feel secure and warm.  We need to be wrapped up, safe and sound, in our own little emotional security blanket.  You go back to love. We may even need to roll up our sleeves and get dirty too.  After all, a little sweat never hurt anyone.

For me, going back to those simple things that remind us that the entire world has not gone crazy, are family, friends, simple pleasures and laughter.   All of which have been present today.

I am helping a friend pack up her house before it is sold.  There is so much to be done and mot much time in which to do it.  And today was mainly planning, plotting and figuring out.  Tomorrow is when the real work will be done.  But today and until leave when the job is done, will be spent with lots of friends, all of us pulling together to get this done, all out of love.

Tonight I spet hanging out with my friend and her boyfriend.  We had some small talk, ate a good meal, watched a cool movie on TV while relaxing on the couch, talked, laughed and just had time to enjoy the simple things in a wonderful life.  I listened as they talked about their plans for the next year, and buying a house, and expanding a business. And as I watched them, it gave me hope that I can find that kind of relationship too.

And so it is, this night as I snuggle down into warm soft covers in a warm soft bed. I drift off to sleep enjoying the simple things in life – friends, family, food, hope and love.  And really, aren’t those some of the best things that life has to offer?

Quiet fun of Summer

Life has been quiet as of late, which is more than welcome.  We all need those quiet times, to reflect, regroup, enjoy, smile, listen to music, smell the roses, and just be.  That requires slowing down a bit and focusing in on what you really want.  And I really want a bit of fun.  It is much needed, as all a=work and no play makes for a very dull and not well lived life.

And so it is, a wonderful quiet mixture of fun this summer.  Nothing loud and outrageous, nothing too out of the ordinary, but only that which feeds the soul and makes me smile. And laugh, and feel good, and love, and wonder and appreciate. And also find Peace.

It’s quite interesting how Peace and fun seem to go together, one of those unlikely couples that makes no sense at first, until you take a closer look.  Life is all about balance, and when we, and our lives, are not in balance, there is also no or little Peace.  Peace is found when balance is restored.

And for far too long it has been hard work, no play, sacrifice and giving of everything I am and have.  And it is time to relax, breath and have fun.  I have been going out of my way to have fun, quiet, boring satisfying fun.  And what qualifies as fun?  Well, that depends on the person.  But for me, it is enjoying and pampering myself a bit. Mowing the lawn and enjoying the smell of fresh cut grass. I have cooked delicious meals for myself, read a few books, watched my favorite guilty pleasure shows, enjoyed long conversations with friends and good wine.

There has been working out, running, pushing my body past where it wants to go and what it wants to do.  Staying motivated and figuring out the future will come, those decisions always do.  But I am learning the importance of simply enjoying.

And something wonderful is happening, a side affect.  It is that I am opening up, slowly, surly opening my heart and soul to the world again.  Letting it all pour into me and wash over me, taking all the impurities with it. Another side affect is facing fear, and finding out there is nothing on the other side but freedom.

I have allowed myself to ask of others, which is something very new.  I am listening to what I want, and asking those who can help. There is been jetskiing  holding on for dear life and the water and wind simultaneously whipping through my hair. And them my friend holding on for his life as I drove, becoming airborne many times as I went into the waves at high speed. I felt free, and wild, and happy. There was a rock about 8 feet high to jump into the water.  It had been 30 years since I jumped like that, and at first it was scary.  But I did it. Again and again. And each time it was easier and more fun.  And then a group of kinds came and jumped without hesitation.  That is where I want to get again.

And this quiet fun of summer will get me there.  I have started dating again, though no one special at this point.  I am making choices just for myself, something that is very scary.  I always though I would be called selfish, but it hasn’t happened. There has been support and I have gotten everything I have asked for, and prayer for.

And that is what we are here for, in this life.  So listen to your soul, drink life in with everything you have, and let it fill you completely, up to the top, brimming over, making you whole, filling in the cracks.

The Contagious

In life, you never know who you are going to meet, where you might meet them or what affect you may have on each other. And whether it turns out to be a long friendship, relationship, or just a pleasant conversation, the twists and turns these people bring to our lives are priceless.   This was my experience today as I sat and ate lunch at a popular little place.

This has been a time of transition for me, as many very difficult chapters have come to a close. This has left me a bit weary and a bit melancholy for the wear.  I am stepping back, taking a break, slowing down and recharging my batteries a bit. It has been a tough road, and sometimes we just need to take a breath, and dust ourselves off before starting back again.

The conversation with this woman came at exactly the right time. She was very friendly and enthusiastic. She was passionate about what she did, and her purpose. And as I talked with her, her passion and enthusiasm started to rub off on me.  And I started to smile a bit and laugh. And I felt better about my day, and my writing and my goals.

She is retired military, a life coach, divorce counselor and public speaker who wants to empower women and young people.  It was clear she does what she loves and is very grateful.  She was a breath of fresh air and a much needed reminder to this tired soul.

And when she left, she left me in a much better mood than I was before.  And then when I asked for my check, I found that she had already taken care of it. A very sweet gesture from one woman to another. And I will pay it forward to continue the good will.  And whether or not I ever meet this lady again, she inspired me to have a better day and a bigger smile.

And that’s the thing about life. You never know what might happen, who you might meet or the experiences you might have that are unplanned along the trip.  And would we really want it any other way?  We must always stay curious about life, those around us and the possibilities that are just around the corner.  We must always be aware that, in essence, we are all in this together, this journey of life.

We may get discouraged, we may fail 100 times or more, before even one success. We may have a hard time, we may be beaten down, weary, tired, feeling low.  But we can reach deep down inside, where the soul meets the spirit, and start the upward climb.  And when we get there, there will be others just like us, who have come a long way too.

And on a personal note, I took this as  Godwink, a little way to show me that I am on the right path, doing the right things.  And that everything will be OK and work out. I just need to be patient, have faith and hold on.

So join me, in my climb. Lets try and encourage each other together.

The Friendships that Bind

A word has been on my mind as of the last week, and what it means to me.  Friendship.  It means so many thing to so many people. And indeed, friendship can have meanings and manifestations for us in our own lives.

I believe that I am surrounded by the best friends in the world, and the past few weeks have really shown that to me very clearly.  The people in my life, that I am blessed to call friends, are fiercely loyal and help, in a heartbeat, when needed.  Not when it’s convenient, not when they can, or after this or that. But there, when you need it, no questions asked. In the time of despair, or darkness, or need.  They are right there, beside me, in the rain, late at night, with the laughter, wine, tears, support and love.

Yes they truly are my heart, and I am lucky to have them.

But they are not just the kind of friends who will be there for you, they are the kind of friends who love you, no matter what, warts and all, while still demanding that you be your best self.  This may sound contradictory, but it isn’t.  What do I mean?  I mean we all need, and are very lucky if we have, those kinds of friends who will call us out when needed. Those who will pull us aside when we get out of line, when we are not trying our best, when we are getting just a little outside of the acceptable level of crazy. They keep us grounded, and inspire us to be the best that we really, truly can be.

They are the ones who see us, in all of out faults and shortcomings, yet still believe in our potential. Which is why they won’t allow us to be anything less than what we can be. Yes, we may need some time to regroup, slow down, break down, melt down…but if we stay there too long, these are the friends that give us the kick in the pants we need to get ourselves out of there before we take up residence.

I have had my best friends call me out when making excuses, when I was not making the best choices, when maybe that dress did make me look…bad.  If my ego ever gets too big, my mouth too loud, my Grace too absent, my patience too thin…they will be right there, to tell me to put my big girl panties on, grow up, get over it, deal with it, snap out of it, grow out of it, break up with it, get it back, bury it, and what ever needs to be done to it. And I do the same for them.

In essence, your friends hold the mirror up to us, while over looking all the imperfections. They represent the best of everything we are, and what we wish we could be, while propelling us to be more than we thought might be. They are the space between the heartbeats, because in that is space is where live is contained.

I don’t know where I would be without these wonderful friends, who bravely follow, support, believe in, comfort…love.  In all my unloveable self. But they know, I am the same friend to them that they have shown themselves to be to me, we are that for each other. Friendship like this isn’t free, it must be mutually beneficial and reciprocated.

And as I sit at this keyboard and type, and sip a bit of wine, I realize just how blessed I am.  I didn’t always have such loyal wonderful people to call friends, for my heart to call home. And those are the friendships that bind.

And as I am transitioning from one area of my life to another, I am thankful to have them with me.

Where the Woods Meet the Water

We all have those moments, those trips in life that give us some space and perspective.  Some quiet time to release thoughts and ponder of decisions and as my travel partner takes a nap I type on the balcony, fingers flying across the keys like they have not done in quite a while.

My writing and creativity has been a bit stifled as of late. Sometimes you have to work through things before you can write about them. And I plan my future, adding details and filling in the blanks about what, where and how to get there. It’s a universal theme for many these days, the planning of what is to come, the goals we record to attain the life we want, well lived and well loved.

And as a cool breeze crossed my café, I think about many things when I was younger, and all that has brought me here today.

When I was 23, I knew I was good with words and good on a dance floor on a Saturday night.  I knew I was petrified of relationships but desperate and anxious for a man to love me. And I did fall in love, ridiculously in love, with a man who is still known as the love of my life.  Whose name I called, whose voice I still know, whose laughter still rings in my ears, even now when I talk to him and both of us have moved on from that place.

I knew I was hard-working and kind. I knew I’d spend the rest of my life devoted to my parents and my family.  I knew my address wouldn’t last long in the stifling, sticky enclaves of south Georgia.

But, I didn’t know a hell of a lot more than I did know.

Because you can’t anticipate the explosions, the messes, the deaths and the self-destructions of your 20s 30s and 40’s. You simply cannot anticipate Life.  You’re unable to forecast adultery, deceptions, newfound passions, and those alluring and unexpected opportunities that rock the certainties you’ve stood upon for as long as you can remember.  You can’t calculate and control feelings.  You can’t anticipate that moment you’ll become so entirely undone that you don’t even recognize the strands of self billowing out behind you, catching the wind and drifting away before you can grab hold again.

And there’s no escaping any of it, of course.  There’s no preparation either, other than the slow, steady build of a reserve of good friends, good wine, self-confidence, humor,  and courage—the pillars that, like Rome, won’t fall down when everything else does.

The pillars that, years later, decades later, remain, however cracked, however faded, however damaged.

I told this bright and eager young woman my heartbreak story tonight, and that time, those years, that one man, that part of me—it sounded so far away.  It sounded old.  And maybe that’s because even though my life has taken a radically different course than I’d ever imagined or hoped for, I’m making it work for me now, and I’m happy, fresh, acutely present and appreciative.

She studied me, and she crinkled her beautifully unwrinkled eyes, and said that it takes quite a woman to bounce back from such blows, such bleeding.

It takes quite a woman for many things:

Birthing a child, raising a good citizen of the world, burying a parent, contributing thoughtfully to society, giving generously, moving through the days mindfully and healthfully, constantly pushing against barriers and prejudices, surviving the betrayals, heart aches, lies and mis judgments, supporting and nurturing partners and families and friends, learning, teaching, loving, loving always—even when the heart beats slow and heavy and weary, and those pillars you yearn to lean against stand oh so far away and out of reach.

And as the sun sets, and the waves rise, as trees on the balcony shake their leaves, I sit back and let out a long, deep breath. It’s quite and adventure, this illusion of planning, this game called life that goes on. .And I think, maybe I have found my place, this weekend away, where I can write, where the wood meet the water, and both country and beach can exist. But life always marches to it’s own beat, and all we can do love well, be our best and hold on tight.

New Year, Birthdays and Taking Risks

Sometimes, one of the hardest things about writing is figuring out the opening sentence or line that might catch someone’s attention get them reading further and deeper. Just sitting down to write this post, I have come up with quite a few opening lines:

• It’s that time of year again…my birthday month!!!
• Just when you thought you were safe from another “New Year” blog
• As I sit here, in my PJ’s…

And sometimes, planning out the next year can be just as challenging.  I for one, am beyond happy to see the end of 2014, and am ecstatic about 2015. There is a sense of optimism and happiness. But how does one go about changing their life for the better exactly?  Not sure on that one, though many thousands of books have been written, and many thousands more no doubt.  Maybe it’s really not an exact science. Maybe it’s all by trial and error. Wouldn’t it be great if we had a compass to tell us where to go for that good life we want, or when we may be veering off track? A magic 8 Ball that really did have all the answers?

First I want to take care of myself.  Like many women, I stopped taking care of myself and took care of others instead. And when all was said and done, I was sitting on empty.  That is changing. I now look around at at empty house (except for the cats) and realize that I am bound by nothing…The world is mine to find adventure, with new things to trip over, places to fall into and new drinks to spill. I am picking up where I left off so to speak and it feels good. And scary. And exciting. And overwhelming.

I stopped working out and exercising. I stopped hiking, Stopped going to live music shows, or the botanical gardens. I quit fixing my hair, trying make up things and just having a bit of fun and enjoyment in general.  And adventure doesn’t have to be far from home, as long as you stay curious and keep quality people around you. For example, I had the best New Years I have had in a very long time. The best thing in the world, is when you are having such a wonderful time that you loose track and don’t even realize it’s midnight…

“Well behaved women seldom make history “- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

And I want to take a vacation this year. On a beach. I miss the beach,  miss the water. It’s calling my name. FINALLY publishing my book is on the list. I had to put it down to tend to other things and now, just like the rest of my life, it’s time to start it back up again. So if any of you know any publishers….

Exercise. The Dreadmill, the bane of my existence. But exercise I will. Not just to loose a few pounds, but because I felt better when I was exercising.  And I have set up a wonderful workout/zen area in my bedroom that will be perfect for rain day workouts and Pilates. Also, the garage is organized with space for the heavy bag. Yes, it’s time to start boxing again! And maybe even jog around the neighborhood if it ever quits raining. If not, boating around the neighborhood, that could be good exercise too.

I am not going to take on so much crap from others. I can help and be kind without putting myself out or sacrificing myself for them. This may seem counter intuitive to having Grace, which I am also seeking. But I think they can go hand in had. In order to have Grace, you do not have to be a doormat. You have to set realistic and healthy boundaries for yourself and life. I have not done the best of either in the past.

“Do one thing that scares you every day.” – Elenore Roosevelt

But the main thing for this next year, is to take more risks and chances. When we play it too safe, we forget how to really live. And sometimes the best thing you can do is step out of the comfort zone and grow. I want to do this with life and especially love. Someone sent me a picture they have of the word “Love” written in the sand on thebeach. That is what I want my life to be, full of love, life and sand this year. And it’s of to a wonderful start.

But I am also reminded of something I read not long ago, and that in order to be flexible, we must have stability. So, before any adventuring into the sunset happens, I must first find that stable foundation from which to build and spring my life.  Maybe that is why I am taking much care in getting the house unpacked and situated. And after being displaced by the mold, it is great to finally be able to relax and have a home in which to settle.

And there it is, my new year, for the age of 42.  And each heartbeat carries all the hopes, dreams and fears that go along with them too. And so it is, that I start this celebration of my birthday month. A celebration of life, of anticipation, of passion, of chances and of love. And they bring an enthusiasm that boils up from that deep place inside, past the mind, into the soul and back again.

 

 

My Sitcom Life: American Tashedy Story

We all have those days where everything that can go wrong, will go wrong. Otherwise known as Murphy’s Law. That was my morning yesterday.

I set a pack of chicken out to thaw the night before in preparation of cooking a favorite recipe.  Those who know me know that I foster rescue kitties… So I get up yesterday  morning and what to my wondering eyes does appear? But the sight of pieces of chicken breasts, half eaten and scattered far and near. So the morning was spent tracking down what remained of the chicken. And let me just say that stepping on a piece of chicken early in the morning before even having coffee is not fun.

After the chicken was all cleaned up I got ready and it was time to leave. As I leave I realize it’s trash day. So I lean in to put my things in the car, and put my knee up on the seat. As I try to get out of the car…I notice the heal of my stiletto shoe is caught in the hem of my dress. So there I was, bent over, half way leaning into the car, hopping on one foot while reaching around to unhook my shoe. Finally got untangled.

Then it was time to get the trash can out to the curb. The very heavy trash can. And I tried to walk this very heavy monstrosity down a very steep driveway in 4” heels. And thought several times I might get run over by momentum of said trash can.  Legs can only go down a steep incline so fast in heels…and the trash can was gaining speed. Suddenly I saw my life flash before my eyes as I imagined the headline:

American Trashidy: Death by the Can

Forget Grandma getting run over by a reindeer, try singleton gets run over by the trash… the headlines would find ever clever way possible to frame the events that led to my death.  Thankfully I was able to steer over to the grass where I could dig my heels in (literally) and the trash can did not roll so easy. But it was a close call and I thought the trash can was going to win.

I am sure these events were very entertaining to my neighbors to say the least.  They were probably drinking their coffee and laughing that the new girl was dancing around and trying not to die a trashy death.

The rest of the day went surprisingly smooth, after I actually got out of the driveway. Such is the life of a clutz.

I can hear you laughing.

Of This and Thats

It is the winter season, the holiday season, the shopping season, the everything season it seems. And as life hurries by this time of year, it seems that my writing has slowed down a bit.  Indeed it can be hard to find the time to write about thoughts and life and love and the spaces in between, when you are right in the middle of it.

And so the struggle for balance continues. And I breath, and I let go.

To be flexible, you must first have stability. A solid foundation on which to build. A place where you can move, and twist and bend as you need when life requires you to be flexible.

And as I chase stability through the empty halls of what once was to be, and in the echoes of what is coming around the bend, I yearn to be there already. I repeat the word over and over in my mind, like a mantra, and I breath. And I stretch, reaching for my goals, driving ever more, ever deeper into the life that I want to claim as mine. And I breath, and as I let the thoughts and worries drift away. The house, the mold, the attorneys, the company, the job, the career, the family…

I have started working out again. Slowly, building my strength up to where it used to be.  Slowly, building up resistance and tension, muscle, control and tone. Stability requires strength. And I want to push my body as much as I push and exercise the mind.

And as I unpack in my new home, as I begin to settle into what will be my life, I strive in all that I do, for strength and stability; to be flexible when life throws a curve ball.

And there is a sense of satisfaction and optimism. This year is coming to a close, the new one is full of all my dreams and possibilities. It is full of all the thises and thats for which I strive. And I know, in that moment, that anything is possible, if I hold on and believe. Endurance, strength, stability, flexibility are what my heart pumps with each beat, inside each cell and fiber of me.

The Eve

It is this night, this eve, this moment in time, after which my life will not ever be the same. And on this is eve, there is excitement, fear, happiness and calm. There are lists of things that need to be done, and the desire to just relax and enjoy the fireflies.

It is this eve that marks a new time, a new chapter and new life going forward.  It is an eve to treasure each. and. every. moment. Because this is the last eve that everything will be the same.

And after this eve, I will look back at tonight, and all those that came before, and be thankful for it all, the good and the bad.

And so it, on this eve.

The Shoulders of Giants

No man is an island. No matter who we are, where we come from, what we do , how successful we are or where we go in life, we could not do it with the help of others.

So to all those who have helped, who have prayed, who have cried with me, who have listen to me, who have carried heavy things. To all those who have made the load lighter, who have lent their hearts, picked up the phone, been there, done that, cheered me on, celebrated the highs and felt the heartbreak over the lows. All those who have sung with me in the rain, helped me relax, shared a glass of wine, discussed dreams, reflected on mistakes, planned the future, smiled at the past. For all of my friends…certainly this week reflects a lot of work and dreams that will finally come to fruition.

So many people have supported me, believed in me, encouraged me and been there for me. My wonderful friends and family. They have let me rest in their safety, and given me the kick in the pants when needed as well. Through it all, they, you, have been my heart and strength. My Faith and will at the center, I have been helped by many.

So much planning, working, dreaming, preparing, manifesting and doing. And finally, it is all coming together; in my personal, professional and writing life. And so for all the good things that are coming, thank you so much. I am here because I have worked, believed, had faith… stood on the shoulders of giants.

Freedom, Stillness and Goodness

A friend of mine and I were discussing this quote last week, and we came to a great conclusion that this is just as true pertaining to people as it is flowers.  Especially when it comes to dating and relationships. It has often been said that the things you may first find enduring in a relationship, is what you may later find annoying. That may be true, but one thing remains: You cannot change someone else. If you fall in love with them, then try to change them, they are no longer that person with whom you fell in love. But many have a tendency to do this. There is even a play called “I love you, Your Perfect, Now Change” that illustrates this perfectly.

If you fall in love (or even in like) with someone who is a free spirit, or is fiercely independent, self sufficient and very defiant of anyone who tries to control them, then don’t try to tame that spirit. For it is beautiful. Someone who cannot be controlled, who goes with their faster than another’s wishes, or who plays by their own rules…if that is what fascinated you about them, then let them shine. To try to change them would kill the very thing that makes them beautiful to you.

I have often said that I cannot live in captivity, I will not be tamed. I am free. It is just a matter of finding the one with whom I can run.

“Maybe some women weren’t meant to be tames. Maybe they need to run free, until they find someone just as wild to run with.”

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