Sometime when I was younger, someone told me to be very careful of the partner I chose, because that would affect the rest of my life. And when you think about it, how could it not? Whom you choose to spend the rest of your life with, live with, share with, grow with, strive with, build with struggle with, celebrate with and so much more. This is the person who will know the most about you and will be in your home and bed. Chose wisely, and it can be an amazing life. Choose poorly, and you will be miserable at best.
All one need to do is watch 5 minutes of the Depp/Heard trial to see a wonderful example of bad choices for partners. They both made each other miserable and continue to do so. And think of how many friends we have that have horrible ex’s that they still have to deal with because of kids?
Who you choose can make you rich, or drain your finances. They can help build your life, and partnership, or they can break you down with abuse and manipulation. One of my best friends was married to a man who constantly over spent, regardless of how many bills were due. He wreaked havoc on their finances and credit scores. But e didn’t care, and even blamed her. My last ex was a raging manipulative alcoholic, and life with him would have been miserable had I chosen him. There are thousands of examples.
And then I look at my parents, and they were great partners. They had the same goals, dreams, and values. They helped each other build a great life and a wonderful family. There are many great examples as I look around. And maybe that is why it took me so long to settle down with someone. I have wonderful examples all around, and I knew I had to find the right partner. Someone with whom I am equally yoked.
And now I understand how important the choice of partner is even more. Because we are building an extraordinary life together. We talk about and write down our goals, and we work toward them every day. We cook together and dance in the kitchen. We are silly with each other, making faces and using different voices. We plant the garden and water the flowers together. And we work hard at communication and being good to each other. Because relationship are hard work, but having the right partner makes all the difference. When two people are constantly at odds, that energy is spent fighting instead of building.
Life is short. Too short to be with a bad partner. So choose wisely and spend your time building your dreams.