Busy Days in Cozy Times

The holidays are over and it is back to life and busy schedules. Meetings, unpacking, coking, cleaning, meeting up with friends…and …being cozy in the deep feel of winter. Yes, you can still feel winter rather deeply even when you are in Texas. Because it is the feeling of warm, soft blankets, good music, comfy Pjs, fuzzy socks and house slippers, with a fire going, and laughter. It is a time of quiet – after the all of the rush, but before the spring. where we might be busy, but the world is still dark early.

And for me it is a time to be introspective. Even here in the south it is chilly, and wet, so it is a time to be at home, doing homey things. And it is the perfect time, in this new house with my wonderful man as we unpack and make this place ours. Placing this and that here and there, arranging kitchen items and discussing where best to place our favorite things. Hot chocolate and midnight snacks, wine and whiskey with long conversations and making plans, mapping out exactly how we want it to be. And discovering our favorite new TV shows and we watch under our favorite blankets on our comfy couch.

All in the warm glow of winter, these busy days in cozy times. All while being thankful for this life and these moments. Oh, it’s not perfect, as the To Do list grows and time shrinks. The dust bunnies under the bed are waging war against the tufts of cat fur…and I can only place bets on which will win the dirt wars. But if that’s the worst of it, then we are beyond blessed.

Life is Short, as are winter days. But even the shortest days can be some of the best ones. So don’t lose hope, keep going, and let this time wash over you, making you, bending you, molding you, and your life into the magnificent experience it will all be.

My Birthday Month

It’s that time of year again, where I celebrate all month because it’s my birthday month. It’s the best month of the year, because I get to celebrate myself, in a complete way. Any way I want actually.

And as I look back on the past year of my life, I realize just how rich it has been. There has been more love, more laughter, more friends, more wonderful than there has been in decades.

And so I celebrate me. And wish myself the happiest of birthdays, because the next year, is going to be even better. 🙂

Life is short. So pop the cork and celebrate it.

No make up, no filters, no fillers, no surgeries. ❤

Shimmer and Shine

It is amazing what being treated well in a relationship will do to you and for you. It affects every part of your life, how you are treated in that respect, which is hard for an independent woman like me to admit.

And it’s not about being in love either, even blissfully, wonderfully, ridiculously in love. It’s aboit being treated well in your home, by the person. You love, the person you trust, the person who is your protector. It’s about your hone being a peaceful and safe place. It’s about your heart being safely looked after. It’s about kindness and Grace.

It’s about what happens when you can Finally let your guard down, and still beloved, still be safe and still be at Peace.

And it is truly magnificent.

When you are a woman who has been on her own for a long time, it’s easy to get used to having to be tough. And indeed, my friends and I have been on our own for a long ti.e, depending on no one but ourselves. That can be a lonely place though, and you forget the comfort of a caring partner. You almost don’t know what to do when you get one.

Indeed, after dating assholes and kissing frogs, after having to be tough through my parents death, dealing with the estate and the messy drama of an imploding family; after running my own business for years; with all of the negotiating, promoting, working, billing, and running; after all of it, all of the everything, I could finally be safe in my man’s arms.

And one of the most amazing things is his kind and gentle way with me. Meeting him, no one would say he is a sheep. He is a shark, shrewd in business, solid in his high standards, and sharp with his keen wit and intelligence.

And yet, he is teaching me Grace. The kind where you are nicer, more patient than someone deserves. Yes, this feisty red head is learning, slow, by example, how to be a better human. And it is because of the Grace my wonderful man gives me. It heals me, and the love he gives me fills in all the cracks in my soul, and my heart. And it has made all of the difference.

Life is short. Spend it with a partner who loves you the right way. No games, no drama, no addiction issues, no anger issues, or crazy ex wives, or dysfunctional family dynamics. Just love, acceptance, patience, Grace and more love. And you will shimmer and shine like glitter in the sunlight. And if you havent found that partner yet, don’t worry, he is out there. Be patient, he’s coming. And he is worth the wait.

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I was talking to a young woman several years go, as she lamented on her exhaustion in keeping herself up while dating. She had to go to the gym to make sure that she was fit and had a nice figure, she had to keep her hair style up, her legs shaved, her clothes sexy and nice shoes as well. Make up had to be done at all given times and it was just a lot of work. She finally sighed and said “I can’t wait to be married so i can let myself go.”

While it is tempting to let ones self go when you have found The One, I have yet to find that to be useful. On the other side of the spectrum was my mother, she said that for the first 2 years of being married to my Dad, she would get up early every morning and do her hair and make up, so Dad would never see her without. She quit after those two yes because dad said that it really wasn’t necessary.

But somewhere, in this day and age of being the most beautiful isn’t enough, girls younger than 20 getting Botox and lip injections (which is ridiculous), the Kardashians and Cardi B, there must be a middle ground. But where?

I think it is where ever you say it is, but you must first be comfortable in your own skin, in your own face, with all of your imperfections. Because it is our imperfections, our flaws that make us our most beautiful, and our most human. So I do not understand the obsession with having no wrinkles and the biggest lips on the block.

With that being said, I keep myself up more now than ever. Mostly of r myself, but being attractive to my partner is also a motivation. But I have a rule that if I wouldn’t do it for myself, then I will not do it for him. Because I like myself just the way I am. And that confidence is sexy.

When I lived alone, Maybe I would brush my hair that day, maybe not. Maybe I would dress in actual clothes and not pajamas, maybe not. Maybe I would take a shower that day (because I also work form home), maybe not. And I would shove my legs when I had a date.

And now, I still may be in my Daytime PJs when he gets home, or I may be in a pair of jeans, or I might be in a dress, or even an evening gown. When he opens the door he has no idea what might be waiting for him. But no matter what, I feel sexy and beautiful and desirable. I do make sure shower every day (Don’t judge, I know you ladies who work from home now Exactly what I am talking about). I shave my legs on a regular basis, and I make sure to use lotion so that I am soft and smell good at all times.

Because, again ladies, when we live on our own, it’s like we are in the jungle. No one is around, so who cares if you use silverware? Or if you put on make up? Or if you are wearing mis-matched socks? And working remote because of Covid has made us all a bit…feral.

But then again, there is a middle ground between fuzzy headed- wild-child in PJs, and waking up early to apply make up and false lashes. That middle ground were we do dress like women, in sexy clothes with good hair and make up, but maybe not every day. Some days, depending on work load and whatever else is going on, I do good to take a shower and brush my teeth. Other days, I might slink around the house in that evening gown, with painted toes and fingers.

But no matter what, celebrate those flaws and imperfections. And find a partner who loves them too. Find someone who will sometimes stay in his PJs all day with you. Find someone with whom you care share that middle ground. Because otherwise it will drive you crazy trying to be “perfect'” because that seems to change every day. And really, who can afford that many lip injections?

Life is short. Don’t waste it by trying to live up to someone else’s standard of beauty. We are now erasing centuries of an ancestors by not accepting what we look like, and seeing it as beautiful. I love my face and my body, because it represents my family. I love when people say I look like my Mom, because she was beautiful, just as she was. And I LOVE looking like her. And I would never want to erase her from the way Iook. So let yourself go enough and be free to love who you are.

Let’s Get Physical

When you are young in sports, you travel with your parents. When you are older you travel with your lover. And when you are old you travel with your physical therapist.” Katarina Witt, Olympic Skater

There comes a time in your life that you must realize that you simply do not heal as well as you did when younger. And while I still think of my self as a spring chicken, I still know my body can do whatever I want it to do – mostly. I have been introduced to physical therapist to help heal an old injury. And I have to say it is pretty fantastic. I imagine this is what it must per like to have your own personal personal trainter.

My physical therapist works with me twice a week, tests my strength and progress, askes if there is any pain or discomfort – other than the burn from the exercises, and makes sure that I have proper form. And I am pretty motivated. Not too mention that it is forcing me to work out, which is great all the way around.

Who would have thought an injury would turn into something good? That is the thing about life – many times unexpected surprises come in the disguise of something bad. So when you are struggling and going through a hard time, just remember, something good may still yet come out of it. So don’t lose hope. And that isn’t a glass is full, always see the bright side kind of thing. It’s a hope thing. It’s being open to the possibility of the positive, thing. And it may just help you make it to the finish line.

Life is short. Enjoy physical therapy and the benefits of doctor ordered workouts. It does a body good.

New Yeah

It’s the new year. And many are in full mode of their new years resolutions. This year, 2022 is a bit new for me. I have no resolutions this year. Well, no formal ones anyway. Yes, there are goals that I want to accomplish, places I want to go, things I want to do…but for a moment, I want to stand still and just Enjoy.

And that is the thing about life, sometimes we are so focused on the doing and being and accomplishing, that we actually forget to take a moment and enjoy the fruits of our labor. We overthink everything. We must label it, put it in a category, assign a political side to it, and make it officially official. But…what if we just….didn’t? Just once, just for a little while?

What if we took a break from all of that, and just took it all in? And enjoyed it?

In a world of constant motion, where bigger is better, showing off is best, and you must be able to post all of your progress on everything all of the time to justify and prove your existence….is simply taking it all is even possible? Yes, I think it is. Because you set the rules for your life, not anyone else. But what will others think? What will the followers do? Who will be watching? Who cares? And why are we even worried about them?

Maybe the kay to happiness isn’t found in followers or likes or posts or even in always setting goals and checking things off the list. Yes, all of that has it’s place, can be fun and can help us with a full life. But when our lives are all about showing the constant motion and accomplishments, then it leaves a rather empty echo. A ghostly residue of what seems like what should be a fulfilling life, yet, somehow isn’t.

We get soul tired when we are constantly on the go. We need rest. We need to recharge, regroup and have a break. And I don’t mean just coming out of a hard time. I mean even when things have been great. That down time, is when we allow ourselves to be fully submerged in the little things in life, when we can see the small miracles we are normally too busy to even notice. This is when we can allow ourselves to relax. And that relaxation provides the fertile ground were the sprouts of creativity and ideas and ingenuity will grow.

Life is short. So take the time to enjoy the life that you have built. And not just the moments that you post, but even the quiet, normal, boring, every day moments. Fully live in them, every second. For it is between the heartbeats, and heart breaks, and raindrops and rainbows that the magic of life is found.