In this day and age, it may be hard to ask for help, whatever the topic might be. Indeed, we have been taught to be so self reliant that we forget that needing each other is a part of the Human Experience and condition. No matter how accomplished you are, at some point you will need the help of another. And that is OK. Because we are all human. and I think that it is now more inportant that ever to be able to seek and accept help when in need. And you must allow others to help you, even when it is hard.
I am the first one to admit I have a taught time with this. I Hate asking for help and would rather cut off my own arm than swallow my pride and ask. And really, why its it so hard? I don’t know. Maybe it is pride, maybe it is feeling like a failure if you can’t do it yourself. Maybe it is a tad humiliating, or maybe, as humans, we can simply be too stubborn. Maybe it is the fear of rejection – what to do if rejected or given a sharp unkind answer? I have only had that happen a few times – immediately after my parents death, and also with an alcoholic ex. But they themselves were very broken, and did not have the capacity. Indeed that reaction says much more about them than it does you.
In this day and age of being flashy, being strong, driving the biggest most expensive cars…can we allow ourselves be human and vulnerable enough to ask? Yes.
I remember working at some small radio station in my early 20s, hardly making any money, and the GM firing the entire morning show because they were going satellite. I was crushed, and broke. I had 5 weeks saved up (which was a lot considering how little I made). I called Mom crying and apologized for needing to ask for her help. She told me to take a breath and said something that I will always remember. She told me that as a parent, she always wanted to and would be there to help me. And that while she hated that I lost my job, she loved having the opportunity to help.
Then my very wise and beautiful mother explained that there are people who get joy out of giving and actually need to give. She said that when we refuse to ask for help, we refuse that person the opportunity to be of service to others. So while it is important to be able to ask for help, it is just as important to be able to receive it, because it is important to recognize the need others have to Give.
It seems that now is a very interesting time. It seems that everyone is falling in love or breaking up, closing chapters or starting out new, or a combination. And it also seems that many need help right now, whether it is money, or a kind word, or a strong shoulder. No matter how you are, you will have bad days, go through bad times, and will need. When we accept help, we are recognizing the humanity in each other. And right now, more than ever, we need more humanity and compassion.
Life is short. Ask when you need and give when you can. I have been on both sides of the coin, and enjoy giving much more. Recognizing each other on such a basic level as assistance and support brings us all back on common ground. And therein lies the blessing.