I have been told and praised many times for having the strength and the courage to leave Atlanta – to just pick up and move 1,000 miles away to this little suburb in Texas. Indeed, many have said that they could not do it and admire that I could. But for me it was more about survival than courage or strength. And there is a time in life when need surpasses fear.
Beta blockers are defines as a class of medications that are predominantly used to manage abnormal heart rhythms, and to protect the heart from a second heart attack after a first heart attack. For me though, I think it goes a bit further, at least in the figurative sense of the word.
Figuratively I say that a broken heart can cause abnormal rhythms and heart attacks. Indeed the continuity of our lives is completely interrupted when we suffer a broken heart. We could say that the heart attacks in the waves of heartbreak that wash over us, as tears flow down our cheeks and noses. So who is to say that the things we do to mend that broken heart and heal ourselves are not, relatively speaking, beta blockers?
My move was a beta blocker, in the vernacular. I moved because of a broken heart. I moved to get away from all the bad that had happened over the last few years. I moved to get a fresh start and be someplace new, with new people, with new places, with new possibilities, in order to put myself back together again. And in doing so, I found the magic elixir that healed my heart and soul. It is amazing what a new address can do for you – when it is not just across town but across the country to a place where you fit.
There is a saying that everything you want is on the other side of fear. I found this to be true. I was terrified to leave Georgia, where I have spent most of my life, and Atlanta where I lived for almost 20 years. That is 20 years of memories and places and thoughts and dreams, and actions…all packed up in boxes. And it was glorious and scary and terrifying and exhilarating and exciting and exhausting. And worth it.
Being brave or strong or having courage doesn’t mean that you aren’t scared. It just means that you do it in spite of the fear. For me I had to do it, despite the fear because I inherently understood that I needed to be away to heal. And I had planned to move away for two years, just not that completely alone when previous plans fell through.
Life is short. Forget the fear. Do what you need to do to heal. Find your Beta blockers and follow through. Take the medicine needed to heal, when it is a change of address or career or relationship. Do it. You won’t regret it.