When your ex is upset you are happy with someone else…

I still remember how much I used to need you
Tried so hard to please you, but you didn’t need me
You knew I loved you, knew I always would be there
You just did what you wanted, you didn’t care
All the cards were held by you
There was nothin’ I could do
All those nights I sat alone, starin’ at the telephone
Wonderin’ were you ever comin’ home

Solitaire, it got so lonely
Solitaire, no one to hold me
Where were you when I played solitaire?

It took some time but I stopped thinkin’ about you
Started livin’ without you, now look who’s back here
You’ve had a change of heart, well, mine just couldn’t wait, no no
You found out you loved me just a little too late

Once the cards were held by you
Now there’s nothin’ you can do
All those nights you sit alone, starin’ at the telephone
Wonderin’ if I’m ever comin’ home

Solitaire, see what it’s like now
Solitaire, to cry all night now
Solitaire, see how it feels to play

Solitaire, it gets so lonely
Solitaire, you wanna hold me
Don’t wait up, ‘cos babe, I won’t be there
Solitaire, solitaire, solitaire

Solitaire, see what it’s like now
Solitaire, to cry all night now
Solitaire, see how it feels toplay

Solitaire, it gets so lonely
Solitaire, you wanna hold me
Don’t wait up, ‘cos babe, I won’t be there
Solitaire (solitaire, solitaire)

What Have You Done

There are all times when we need to check in with ourselves, to self assess how we are living our lives and meeting our goals. Maybe it is not an official thing, maybe it is just a quiet time of refection, but every and and then we do need to take stock so to speak and make sure we are on the path we have indeed chosen.

There is a question that I like to ask myself every now and then to do just that. “What have you done?”

And I think about what I have been doing with m y life – no in the not the existential meaning, just in the every day, what am I doing to be the person that I want to be and live the life that I want to lead? Am I doing the things that I need to do physically, mentally, spiritually, personally and professionally in order to have the life that I want to build? Am I really LIVING?

Because that is the thing about life, we can be alive without actually living. But what makes a person want to really live rather than to just exist? I don;t know exactly, but I think that it is about being in a healthy and happy space. It is the awareness that there is much more to life out there than just our little worlds. It is being humble enough to let it register that we ourselves, and our lives are pretty tine compared to what is out there, so you might as well experience everything you can when you are here. It is a thirst and a curiosity of life.

Now, of course we could all do more…but this is not about bashing yourself about eating that piece of cake, or not working out, or whatever. It is just making sure actions are in line with intentions.

And when I looked around, I had to smile.

When I moved here, to this wonderful place, in the wonderful little house, I wanted a happy new beginning. A fresh start where I could make life whatever I wanted. And I decided that I wanted a warm home in which to welcome friends. a garden and a great space to relax outside. And I looked around, all of that had happened.

In the 3 short months that I have lived here, I have created a wonderful life so far. I have met all of my neighbors and created friendships where they watch over me and I them. I have created a wonderful garden that is thriving and will produce many vegetables to share with my friends. My home is completely unpacked and set up. There is new furniture and warm spaces for reading books in quiet nooks. And there is so wonderful patio space with new re-potted plants, places to enjoy wine int he shade and listen to music in a breeze. And I have met someone with whom I enjoy spending time and building.

I have created a life that gives life and joy to others, and that is what I wanted. But in order to that, I must take care of myself first. And that is what I have done.

In 3 short months, town of those in quarantine. This is what I have done.

But it is also not always about “doing” either. I rest when I want to, do nothing when I need to, relax and enjoy. Sometimes I don;t move off the the couch. Because it is all about balance. We cannot be so sedentary that we never leave the house. but we need to be settled enough that we are comfortable in our own company because we have faced and concurred our demons.

I know someone who moved here 6 months ago…and his house is still not unpacked, everything is a mess, he has settled in, he has not done anything at all with his time here. He has done nothing to thrive, nothing to have a good life. He has a job and kids, but he has done nothing with himself, personally to enjoy anything. It is as if he is simply a ghost, moving temporarily through the walls of this life. All he does is sit at his house a drink. He does nothing to develop himself further or to “become.” That is no life, and that is not living. It is only existing.

Life is short, and we will all be ghosts soon enough. So take an honest look and ask yourself “What have you done?” What have you done to bring something good into this world? What have you done to help someone? What have you done to make someone else’s life easier? What have you to bring life to this world, and I don’t mean children? What have you done that will complete your legacy? And if you don’t like the honest answers, then you can always change it. Roll up your sleeves and start creating your happiness and a life well lived and well loved todayIt’s not easy, but it is worth it.

A Beautiful Friendship

It is the official start of summer, and you can feel it in the air.  Even in a time of pandemic, masks and social distancing, you can feel the excitement of summer in the air as people take a collective sigh and look forward to warmer weather, laying out int he sun, cooking out and enjoying life a bit more.  There will be good food, grilling, boating, laughing, and loving of life. I am hoping there will be a drive in movie or two. It is summer after all.

There is an electricity in the air that is exclusively summer. You can feel it, hear it, taste it, smell it.  It is the promise of fun as the release of all that has been weighing us down. It is the promise of shorts and summer movies and ice cream and smiles and romance.

And this past weekend I had the pleasure of starting my summer as well.  It was a great mixture of spending time with friends and those I enjoy most, as well as some time alone.  It was the perfect mixture of hot and sunny and cooler with some storms. and in that mix, the patio was finally completed. My plants are done, the vegetable garden is complete, the porch swing is up and the grill is set up.

It was time for me to try out the grill. A simple hamburger for the first venture. As a complete klutz, I have found it is better to start out small when you don’t know what you are doing, especially when sharp objects or highly flammable material is involved. I wasn’t even sure know to hook up the gas. As with many risks that have been taken in my life, I said a prayer and thought this will either be a great idea, or an epic fail…and I will singe my eye browse.

The result was not bad. There were no explosions and my eye browse are still in tact. This is the start of a beautiful friendship with Gus (my grill). I look forward to many more grilling adventures together.



What have you done. what life have you build for yourself?