The Missing

In everyone’s life there comes a time when you take stock and evaluate what’s missing in their life. And there is one thing that has been missing in mine, and that is children. All of my life I’ve been around, working with and helping children. When I was a young child my parents took in foster children, then As I Grew Older I became a counselor and peer counselor myself. I’ve been a peer counselor in junior high school, high school and college, I’ve helped with church youth activities, gone through training and have been a crisis counselor for teens and young adults. And I’ve helped my nephew’s quite a bit too.

And I’m good at it, I would even say gifted. While I’m not as gifted as my mother, I love being around children and I enjoy helping them, teaching them. I enjoy talking to children and finding out about their worlds. Children are beautiful and complex and many times misunderstood. And I’ve always considered myself a bit of an advocate for them.

When all of this virus, social distancing, quarantine, pandemic crisis is over, I’m going to find a volunteer position to help children. Whether it’s reading and talking to children at the local children’s hospital, or volunteering as a counselor somewhere, or helping victims of sex trafficking, or whatever, I want to help kids again.

In the past I have avoided dating man with children for the fact that I would always get attached to them. And indeed that happened with the last man who had children. I grew to love them. Even though that relationship did not work out, it awoke and something inside of me. It made me realize once again how good I am with children and how much I want to help kids in need even if I have none of my own.

I only stopped volunteering with,children when I had to take care of my parents when they were termimal and dying. There was absolutely no way that I could take care of both of my parents dying and all the subsequent estate issues afterwards and continue volunteering. But now that that time of my life is over and I have fully recovered, it is time to start volunteering again.

I realize one of my passions and purposes in this life is to help others, especially children. Throughout my life I’ve been put in positions around children. This will be the first time that I seek it out.

I prayed for many years that I’m involved and can build something larger and more important than myself. I think that helping children is the purpose that God has picked out for me. If that wasn’t the case then why would he continue to put me in situations where I am doing just that? And so I am accepting this task with excitement and sincerity. If it is something that God is calling me to do, and God has given me natural talents to do so, it’s definitely something I should follow.

Life is short. Follow your heart and go where you are called. Our purpose in life is often very different than our job, but the two can and do office merge. If my purpose is to help children, then I will definitely be following in my mother’s footsteps, large footsteps to fill and follow, but joyful and fulfilling none the less.

Blissful Joy

During this time of anxiety, panic and just general going crazy with the world in the nation around us, I found a likely Blissful Joy. I like the stay-at-home orders. There I said it. Well I do miss going out and eating at a place that’s not my dining room, I enjoy the slow down.

I’ve noticed that people are no longer rushing around trying to get kids to school and get to work on time I’ll fighting traffic. People are slowing down and spending time with their children and with each other. They’re talking to each other and playing games and doing family activities. Instead of dropping the kids off at soccer practice and grabbing a burger along the way, they’re having a home-cooked meal and playing cards and talking afterwards.

I know it’s not politically correct to enjoy this time, but when have I ever been politically correct? And the truth is is that I’m having a great time.

I guess for me, I finally have an excuse to just stay home and love it. And it’s wonderful. I get up at no particular time I snuggle with the kitties as I wake up. I make my way down to the coffee pot to enjoy an absolute delicious cup out on the back porch enjoying the Texas morning. I say my thanks the God for another day in this beautiful state in this wonderful place that I live.

My garden is looking better than ever and thriving. And I see Little Sprouts growing up everywhere. The next phase is to put the flower garden in so I have to figure out where I want everything. But I’m absolutely loving this time just to be completely and utterly domestic. I am lucky and blessed and I don’t have a single tear in the world but taking care of my home.

Gone are the days of stress and drama. I spent over 18 months being the emotional punching bag to an alcoholic. And even after that I was willing to be friends until the drama was growing faster then Kudzu in the south.

Now my life is completely drama-free and there is nothing but happiness, and good relationships, and everything that makes me happy.

And I’m doing almost as much work inside the house is I am outside. Unpacking and organizing and hanging pictures and making this place a home. When it’s time for people to come over again I want all of my friends to feel warm and welcome as they walk through the door. I want my love and happiness to be tangibly felt as soon as they enter.

And then there is the exercise, which to be honest I’ve thought about it but I haven’t actually done yet. I still haven’t found my piyo DVD, and yard work is a pretty good workout as it is. But eventually I will do the pie or at least some sit-ups and push-ups.

I completely enjoy my own company, and dancing around my house as I play music on the Bluetooth speaker. All my favorite songs from all my favorite playlist coming into my house.

And seeing my favorite man is usually one of the highlights of the week. Weather dinner is cooked in his kitchen or mine, I know that a wonderful time will be had. Smiles, laughter, playfulness, conversation, good food, and snuggles on the couch. I run my fingers through his beard and through his hair as we both just to sleep.

It is a wonderful time and a Wonderful Life. I am so deeply blissful unfortunate. Every night I say my prayers and give thanks for the amazing day that’s just ended and all the possibilities that exist for the coming day. And every morning when I get up I say another prayer kneeling at the rosary or my parents prayed as well.

Indeed I’m not only making this house a home, I’m making my life my home. A place where I love to be, a place where No Escape is needed, and a place that I love. I’m not supposed to be happy right now, with this pandemic and all the dangers that are around, but I just can’t help it. I love every bit in minute Of This Moment and this time right now.

And it Dawns on me as I lay down and my wonderful comfortable bed, with my fuzzy happy kitties on the bed with me purring, but I have everything for which I have prayed. All my hard work has paid off and now I I’m enjoying the blessings that have come to fruition

Life is short. And we only get one life oh, so we might as well make it our own and make it one that we will love. Surround yourself with things that make you happy, people that make you smile, and love that will fill your heart. Just getting a very negative person out of my life, my mental state and happiness has done nothing but increase exponentially. If you only have one life, make it worth living. Follow your dreams, stay away from people who are mean to you or who drag you down, and surround yourself with love.

With a smile on my face, and happiness in my heart, I drift off to sleep. I sleep like I did when I was a child- Peacefully, blissfully, deeply.