Celebrating Mae

She was my favotie Aunt – bright, funny, high spirited and possibly a bit bossy. She had many stories, told great jokes, could drink and hold her own, and loved her Bloomer Droppers. She was my wonderful Aunt Mae.

She passed away in her 90’s shortly before Christmas and this is her service. It is a celebration in every sense. Yes, we are sad tonloose her, but she Lived, really lived. She took chances, had adventures, was independant, did her thing, loved her husband and even got into mischief now and then.

And how many of us can say that we are truly living? That we are taking chances and drinking life’s moments up like a sponge? How many of us are living up to our potential? And I don’t mean salary or career wise, I mean Life wise?

To me this is about celebrating a marvelous lady who celebrated life. Ahe did as she pleased, and that was it. She loved life. She loved her life and she loved her family. And we loved her.

And so I am here, in this place to celebrate her on the 3rd anniversary of my father’s death. And somehow, I think Dad and Aunt Mae just might have planned it that way. To bring the family together, like they always did.

How absolutely perfect. And so I want to truly live, love, and have that full life. I am beyond ready for laughter that swells up from he belly and escapes past lips curled to a smile.

Life is short. Live it up and Celebrate every moment you can. Kiss the girl, but the shoes, take the chance and dance under the stars, or in the kitchen. Or where ever.

Hi Daddy

Hi Daddy,

It’s me. I miss you. So much has happened in the 3 years since you’ve been gone. Millions of lifetimes it seems. I am not the same person I was then. And yet I am. I am still me, still your daughter, still your PJ, still the Pinktank, and still as clumsy and akward as ever.

I miss you, your voice, your zippy one liners, your kindness. I miss eating boiled peanuts with you, and I miss watching the lightning storms. I think of you every time one rolls in.

I hope you would be proud of me. Some daya I think you would, others not so much. I am still very imperfect and feisty. Guess I take after Mom that way.

I wiah I could find someone to love me like the way you loved her. Maybe it’s a generational thing, and men these days don’t love like that any more. I hope so though.

I moved to Texas and I often wonder what you would think about that. I know you spent time in the state but you never talked about it really.

I wonder how you are Jimmy and doing and if you have seen him where both of are.

I wonder what advice you would give me now, in the new fresh start. I still see your smile, hear your laugh. It gives me comfort to know that you are with Mom, that is the only place you wanted to be.

I am happy Dad. I made the decision to move, get away from all of the unhappy, and it has worked. I am happier than I have been in a long time. And it shows. It permeates everything I do.

I love you so much. Thank you for being the best daddy in the entire world, thank you for all of the lessons and all of the time. Thank you for everything. You are and always will be my hero.

Love you Daddy. Say hello to Mom.

The Years

A woman I went to high school with lost her sister. And matbe because it is the anniversary of my father’s death amd,my heart is tender, maybe because I have lost a sibling, maybe for a thousand other reason, it brpught me to tears.

And I remember when my last sibling passed, how devestating ot was, a little less than a year ago. You just assume you will grow old with your siblings. Even if you are not close with them, you typically don’t think about a life without them. Everyone knows and accepts they will bury thwir parents. But it is unnatural in every sense for you sibling to suddenly not be there.

And so my heart goes out to her, and everyone who has lost a brother or sister. It is a specific kind of grief, a specific kind of pain.

Be kind to yourself, and be around those who will be supportive. At the time of my last siblings death, my partner was an ass, and instead of being aupportive he sent me money amd insisted I travel to celebrate anl event amd meet his family for the first time. (Dont be that guy, btw)

Take time to heal, take time to be gentle with yourself, and most importantly, tell those you love that you love them. It could be family. A firmed, a lover, an old loce or new love, it doesn’t matter. Tell them. Even if you havent talked to,them,in a while, tell them. Because you know know when the last tume will be, so never take it for granted.