Lenten Season

It is Ash Wednesday, the time of Lent. Traditionally this is a time of self refection and discipline and every year I give up one thing and take on one or more tasks. IT si a great time to slow down, breathe deep and take everything in. And that is what I am doing.

There has been a lot of change in my life recently – a huge move, cleaning and de-cluttering my life in every way imaginable, cutting people off, getting rid of bad habits, and starting new healthy habits. Exercising more, meditation, prayers and learning more about the practice of Grace (something that can be hard for a feisty red head).

But mainly I am looking forward to a deeper understanding of faith in life. I want to sit still and listen to the voice of God and know the direction he wants me to go.

And I want to celebrate the life he has so generously given me.   But first you must be still and listen, you must look for the signs and be willing to follow.

And that is what this Lenten season means to me this year.

3 Years

It’s hard to believe that the third year anniversary is coming up Sunday.  Three years since my wonderful, amazing, adorable, hero father passed away. Hard to believe it has been that long since I have seen him, hugged him heard his voice, or saw his smile.

Last year this anniversary was hard, it had only been 2 years. And it still stung and hurt an unbelievable amount. This year it still hurts, because you never get over losing your parents, but it is different.

I will always miss him, that never stops.  But this year I know he would be proud of me so it is a celebration. It is a celebration of everything good that is happening in my life and everything that is coming up.

I am happy because know he is in a better place, with my Mom. And I am in a better place where I have moved. I am in a better place emotionally, physically and mentally than I have been in years now that I am in a new place and away from toxic people and relationships.

So this anniversary I celebrate my father, his love that he gave me, all that he taught me and my entire family. I celebrate my life as an extension of him, and my Mom. I celebrate all the good that is coming. There will be no tears this year, there will be smiles and laughter and a warmth in my heart.

Dad, I love and miss you every day.  And I know that you would be proud of me and who I have become since you left. Hug Mom for me and I love you both. Thank you for watching over me. Please visit me in my dreams.