A Breath of Fresh Air

“Be comfortable with who you are regardless of other people’s acceptance and do not try to be like anyone else.” – Salma Hyack

When I was told that a change in geography would do immeasurable good for my well being, I wasn’t so sure that they were right.  But they were.  Since moving, it seems that all the pain of the last years stayed right were it was. And with that this new start is taking hold.

My new house is getting settled and unpacked after almost two weeks, and it is feeling wonderful and warm.  That is the great thing about a new place, you get to choose where everything goes. You get to make it whatever you want.  And it is the same with life.  If you are unhappy with the way life is going, change it.  You can always move, you are not a tree.

And after moving I am ready to start getting on with life. I am ready to start meeting new people, finding new places, talking to new friends and dating new men. I am ready to start being who I have always meant to be with the life I was meant to have. It feels like I had to put everything on hold to take care of others, something that was my honor and privilege to do, but now…

Now my life and all it hold belongs to me and I will make the most of every moment.

Life is short, too short to be anywhere you are not happy.  Change jobs, change relationships, change locations, if you are not happy.  Because you never know what might happen if you just move a little. Who knows, some fresh air in a new place may be just what you need.

The Grace of Struggle

My mother used to talk to be about needing to learn not only Grace, but the value in it.  Grace is defined as being much nicer or more forgiving to someone than what they deserve. We all know someone in our lives to which this can apply.  But it is so very hard to have Grace when someone has wronged us. Or is it?

Someone came at me recently, full on, verbal assault full of insults and meanness. Insulting my income, intelligence, dead mother and even my looks (they tried to tel me that I was not attractive – as if!). While firm boundaries were stablished, I did not fight back as I would have in return.  Because I recognized that this unprovoked attacked had nothing to do with me.

Hurt people, hurt people. Only those who are miserable lash out at others. And these people who need love the mosts, often are the hardest to love. But once you realize how hurt they must have been to use lashing out as a defense mechanism, then you start to feel more pity than anything.  They are like a wounded animal who is cornered and scared.  They blindly lash out to avoid being hurt further. These people are the ones who also need grace the most as well.

That does not mean that you should let them run over you or hurt you. Quite the opposite actually.  But once4 you realize that what they are doing has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with what is going on inside them and the internal demons they are fighting within themselves, they really can’t hurt you at all.  Still firm boundaries should be in place, because no oner should be allowed to be a disrespectful bully. But handle them with more care than you think they deserve.

Not because they deserve it, but because they need it. Often those who come across as they more scary or fierce are so to hide their own hurt, fear and vulnerability. And no matter how bad you are hurt, never let yourself become like them.  Have enough Grace top forgive yourself the mistakes you have made, and then you will find the Grace to forgive others as well.