A new year is a time that we all tend to take stock in ourselves and make plans. Resolutions. And why do we tend to do this during the new years? There is something psychological about a new years and a new start. And I am no difference. Except that it was not my original plan.

Or actually, it was. It was always my plan to leave at the end of the lease. And now I am following up with action. And that feels good. To be doing things for me. But this movement goes beyond changing my address at the end of a lease, it marks the first time on over 10 years that I am doing what is best for me.

So this year, I will only have those who are supportive and kind in my life. That does not mean that I only want yes people. But I will only have those in my life who bring true friendship, not those just using me for what they need, then talking bad about me behind my back. I want friends who volunteer help, as they are with this move.

I will only have men in my life who bring something positive. I want a partner, who will woo me, who will give me flowers on my birthday, who stays dedicated when things get hard, who loves me even when I am not love-able. Because that is the kind of partner I am. When I love, I love fiercely and wholly, sticking with him through all the ugly spots.

I want a man with a high EQ, who understands when I am quiet. Or when I cry. Or when I am insecure, and instead of blaming me, hugs me and loves me through it. I am a strong woman, but I human, and have needs too. I want a man who asks what they can do to help.

And I am done with people whom I have to carry. I am done with moochy roommates, two faced half friends, and those who always need money because they can’t get their lives under control. Everyone gets in a tough spot every now then, and I am Happy to help. But I will no longer be available to those who are constantly on the edge of financial ruin. I will no longer be available to those who have their best interests at heart. And I will no longer be available to those who do not reciprocate.

This is a reset for my entire life. Those two want to be in my life, must be kind, and helpful and wonderful and reciprocate. They must be willing to stay, even when it’s hard, and they must love, just as hard and as much as I, whether in friendship or more.

And more than anything, I pray, with all of my heart, that the path forward is so beautiful and magnificent and bright, that all other paths pale in comparison. I will go where I need to be, just make the path and direction so wonderful that there is no other choice.

And that is what 2020 will be.

Speak to me

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