Tomorrow

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. – Albert Einstein

My Mom always taught me that life is bigger than any one person or any one event.  Or even many events. She always taught me to say: My life is bigger than that, and to never stop reaching or trying or questioning or being curious.

And so in that spirit, tomorrow start the possibility of a new adventure, and that is exciting.  It is something to look forward to. It is something about which to get excited, And it is something to make me smile.  And after consulting, and deciding and and soul searching I am ready for the possibilities.

When you step up and take control of your destiny instead of just going where the tide takes you, it is creating the life you want.  But it is also scary, and unsure and unknown.  It is change, and as a rule, humans don’t do well with change.

But the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. And so if I want something different, I have to do something different. And after the past 3 years, I need something different.

And I cannot help but think of both my Mom and Aunt Mae, two adventurers who were ahead of their time. And I wish I could tell them all about what tomorrow brings. But I know that on some level they will know.

Life is short, have adventures and take chances. And pray, with all your heart, that the path is so well lit and so beautiful that there is truly no other way to go.

 

In Your Corner

That is the thing about those who truly love you – they build you up and encourage you in times when you aren’t sure. The people who love you, will believe in you when you don’t believe in yourself. Yes, they will kick you in the bum when you need it too, but more than anything, they will believe in you. And as I slowly talk about my plan, expecting to be met with hesitation…instead I am getting encouragement and praise.

And when I tell them my fears, I am swiftly reminded that I am a badass who can do anything. “Why are you so scared? Remember that time you drove a fully loaded UHaul truck with no place to live and no job, with a only plan to have both by the end of the day…and you did. Now you have a job and plenty of money…the rest is easy.”

“You left New York, with NOTHNG – no job, no money, no place to live – with only the clothes on your back. You got on that train and started a new life. You are fearless. You do what no one else can.”

“You’ve been operating with no safety net and no one to catch you for a long time now, you know you can do this. And when have you ever listened to negative anyway? That’s when you usually dig in your heels.”

“You are afraid it might be hard? Kind of like handling the entire estate, by yourself? You’ve got this. And we got you. You are going to do this this with the same fearless grace and flare as you always do.”

“You’ve always been able to pull a miracle or two out of a hat. Just pray and follow God. You are strong enough, you can and you will do whatever you set your mind too. So stop worrying.”

“You’ve done the worst things things and the hardest things already, this will be easy compared to all that. You are strong, and will come out of this just fine. All you have to do is pray, and remember who you are.”

And that is the thing about those who truly love you. They are not just “yes men,” they pick you up when you are down and build you up when you are out. They do not criticize when you are sick, or scared, or worried or weak. They roll up their sleeves and plan the adventures with you. They hold you until you can hold yourself.

And after an ex boyfriend who constantly, even now, tells me everything he thinks is bad and wrong about me, his perception of all of my faults and “friends” who bring up old disturbances, it gets in your head a bit. So be very careful of the company you keep. Instead being encouraging and tender, they were disparaging me. And that is not right.

 
“Anger issues? No sweetie, the opposite – You give way too many chances to those who aren’t worthy. And you listened to an asshole for far too long. You do get irritable when tired, but are a good person. If you weren’t you would have moved down there just to use him, instead of doing this on your own – on your own terms.”

 

“When have you ever listened to critics? He’s an idiot and those `friends` need to go back to school. They obviously don’t know you. And when have you ever needed a man for anything anyway?”

And so I move forward, safe in the knowledge that I am not alone. I have an entire section cheering me on, ready to help. They have my back. And the biggest one cheering me on? My sister.

Life is short. And as my uncle once told me: Blood is thicker than water. Water may be clearer, but blood is truer.

So you think I can’t do it? Watch me. You think I have issues? Thanks, I needed the laugh. And if you don’t have time to be kind and supportive, then I don’t have the time for you. You decide that you want to work things out? Great. Be kind and supportive. Be the example of loving. In the meantime, I’ve got things to do and mountains to move, and and miracles to pray into existence. Because I have those who love me in my corner. And there is always room for more. So if you stick around, pull up a chair and we can support each other and cheer each other on from here on out. And that is a promise.