It is What it is

“It is what it is and it ain’t gettin’ no isser.”

I remember hearing this quote one day watching the news after the tornado destroyed an older gentleman’s home. They were interviewing him about the incident, as news crews do, and asked him how he felt about looking at what used to be his home. He was older, had teeth missing, was wearing a worn out shirt and was clearly weathered, but he spoke some of the wisest words I had ever heard.

What that quote communicated to me, was that there are events in life where it really doesn’t matter how you feel about them; whether you like what happened, or even if you agree with it, what “it” is – It is what it is and it ain’t changing. Your approval is not required.

And so I am reminded as I sit at home, exhausted from traveling to help two dear friends. I flew up to help, but they asked me to stay an extra day to help out a bit more with scheduling work and children and care repairs. The trip had a lot of tension and a bit of fighting between the man and his friend, and it was extremely uncomfortable for me. I just wanted to be out of the drama and negative atmosphere, but the situation was what it was, and they needed extra help. I could not change anything, but always choose to help others of you can, especially if children are involved. Little did I know staying an extra day would turn into a travel day from HELL.

The flight was supposed to leave at 7pm…4 delays, 3 gate changes and 5 HOURS later, we finally took off – with no ac on the flight, and two tired, screaming babies sitting behind me.  We landed at 3am. I was finally able to get a Lyft to the Marta station where my car is parked, only to find the parking deck closed. I had to call a friend to come at get me – at 4:15am. I am finally home now, ready for a long sleep at almost 6am.  I have been up about 24 hours and am exhausted.

And all the while I kept hearing that quote in my head – “it is what it is and it ain’t getting no isser.”

My dear man (who is trying to win me back) just kept apologizing and saying that I had been so to gracious stay, only to have to stay up all night traveling – only to have everything go wrong (and boy it did).. And he marveled that I had not even complained once.  Oh, it was not that I wasn’t tempted to complain at all…but at some point when things go THAT wrong, you can get mad, you can cry, or you can laugh.

The other part of that quote is even if you get mad and bent all out of shape, it still is what it is. It’s not changing. So no matter how upset I got, there was nothing I could do to change anything. So I just laughed.

And that is the thing about life. Sometimes you just have to accept things and people as they are. You cannot change them or some circumstances, so you laugh and shake it off. You cannot control what happens, but you can control how you react. If someone is being mead to you, find the humor, shake your head and laugh. Even when someone hurts you, just take it with a grain of salt, because you cannot change them. And from a personal perspective, once I experienced the death my parents and the loss of my family, nothing and no one can ever hurt me like that…so it really doesn’t matter what anyone does or says. When you have no fear of being hurt, or answering to other’s opinions of you, you find total freedom and power. All that from a tiny quote.

Life is short. Time is precious and finite – just ask anyone who has lost a loved one. So don’t spend time getting caught up in drama of a situation you cannot control or change. Go with the flow, relax and have a good time. Because the truth of the matter is – it ain’t getting no isser, so you might as well accept it.