I was probably too sick to go out, but I did any way. I had been down with a bad cold and coughing for days. But it was NYE, and this one felt extra special, for many different reasons. and I was excited for the first time in years. Even though it was rainy and wet and I “could get pneumonia,” this was not something I was going to miss. So armed with my great red dress, prayers and an abundance of cold medicine, I went out for something amazing.
The crowd cheered as the countdown continued until the very end. And I stood there, and I was kissed a wonderful, beautiful kiss, with eyes smiling back at me. Then and I looked up at the fireworks. It was raining, and it was wet, it was messy, and it was spectacular.
And something surprising happened. I was taken over by emotion and started sobbing. I cried because I actually did it, I survived it, not just 2018, but of the two years prior as well, and I was in one piece. I was sobbing in the rain and repeating, “Oh my God, I did it, I made it through.”
And the one of the most amazing and beautiful things of my life happened – I was suddenly enveloped in this tight embrace as I sobbed and buried myself in big shoulders while one of my favorite songs played on big speakers.
I closed my eyes, felt the rain all over my face, washing away the makeup that covered the scars, the last scars of the year. I closed my eyes even tighter and concentrated on the beautiful moment and emotion and embrace that enveloped me, as thousands of people rushed by, but there was nothing else that existed.
And as I held on tight to that beautiful embrace, thousands of umbrellas rushing by, yelling, screaming, celebrating, getting out of the rain and getting home after the countdown.
Thousands of people, yet the world stood still for those minutes in my world. This one woman, in a red dress, in that embrace, as the rest of the world continued.
And finally when the moment was over, we walked with the crowd, tears and rain mixing on my eyes and down my cheeks. Others saw me and smiled, it is as if they knew… that this is the woman in the red dress that stood in the embrace, letting all of everything that was 2018 be cleansed away.
And in retrospect, it is very fitting that it poured rain, washing my soul clean, washing away all of the sorrow and pain that was, making room for all the wonderful love that is coming, that is already here. It is fitting that God sent this storm – that He himself blessed me, this year, as His rain washed over me, in that beautiful embrace, as my tears mixed with His sacred water. There was nothing else more sacred, but that moment, and that embrace, and that song, which will forever be associated with this new year. It was acknowledgement and the beautiful letting go. And now it is the beautiful fulfillment of all which I have prayed.
Now, there is no sadness, only celebration and love and all that is good.
And that is how I welcomed this beautiful new year of 2019.
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