The Do-Over

Sometimes we look at our life and feel like we have made no forward movement. Almost as if we are living the same day, or month, or in in my case, year over again. It’s like the movie Ground Hog Day…

And that is how I have felt this week after reading several blogs that have come up in my memories. They talk about all of the things that I wanted to do in the past year. They talk about all the plans, that have yet to come to fruition. And I wonder, what have I been doing this past year?  Taking care of everything and everyone for which I was responsible. Not much got done this past years, not much of what I wanted to do anyway…

I never thought it would all still be dragging out a year later. And I do not want another year of the same. I want a year of what I planned last year. Indeed, the closing on the family compound was supposed to be tomorrow…and God willing, it will be rescheduled after the repairs from the hurricane damage are complete.

But many things have changed in the past yer, and yet the more things change the more they stay the same – I am still taking care of the estate and the compound, I am still shopping for contracts, I am still going away for Christmas (the exact plans I had last year that I had to cancel), I still have a crush on the same artist, still still planning to unpack the garage, still trying to workout more…

But instead of thinking about it being wasted time, or a wasted year…it is as if I have been given a do-over. Everything that I wanted to do last year, but could not because of all the responsibility. It is the do over year.

So what would you differently if you had a do over? Well, this year I will be more careful about with whom I share my time. Helping is fine, but being full on responsible for another is a different story.  I am not going to mother any adults this year. And I will not be as tolerant of other’s issues.  I will be selfish enough to make sure that I work on my dreams, not everyone else’s. I will be more fierce in what I want, and not entertain what I don’t. I did far too much of that this past year, and it got me no where but aggravated. And I will be able discern when to be soft, because life is about balance.

This year has been a learning year, and now I get to apply all the knowledge and wisdom. I get to pic up where life left off at this time last year, and do what I wanted to do then, now. The sale of the property, the man, the traveling, the adventures, the laughter, the love, the thrill of it all…Because something this past year has taught me is that life is too short to waste a do over.

So follow our conscience, take the risks, make the changes, kiss the girl, tell the guy how you feel. buy the shoes, wear the lipstick and make some noise. And pray and have faith, above all else, that everything will work out in the end. My friend’s passing taught me again that we should not take any moment for granted. And this year will be everything that life has to offer.