I am Here

“In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.

And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back.” – Albert Camus

We all have those times where we need to be still and quiet and small to heal and become whole again.  We must be hushed sometimes to grow that magic that is contained within us, until it is ready to spill out of every part of us.

There has been a shift recently. A shift deep inside me, deep where the soul meets the mind and the heart joins my breath. A shift that might not be noticeable to the naked eye, or to those who are not close. It is a bit of a re-awakening.   I have been quiet and still for quite a while now, enjoying being it the moment, appreciating the sanctity of this delicate life. But now a part of me has awakened, and I am ready to fully embrace life again.

Look at the world with childlike wonder and you will be amazed at what you see.

I want to return to life with childlike curiosity. Because as long as we are always curious, we are always learning and growing and experiencing and Living. I have been in hiding and in hibernation long enough, it is time to return, it is time to Live again.

And what precipitated this shift? A combination of new events and time. They say time heals all wounds.  I would say that is close but not true, because some wounds are not meant to be healed, they are meant to be carried. And I will carry them well, as I go through this life.  I will carry them proudly, gracefully, beautifully. For it is the price of love and being loved in return.

“Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.” – Kahlil Gibran

I will do it by enjoying those quiet moments and knowing the beauty in them. I will do it by doing new things and having new experiences.  And what I like, what feels good and wonderful will be done again.  I will spend time with friends, and quiet evenings alone as well. Because as always, the secret of success is in the balance

I went skydiving recently, and then I went on a visit where I did several new experiences and did a few things I had not done in a long time. The combined result has been making me realize that it is time to come back out in the sun. To eat life up, soak up every second like a sponge.  Because life is short, and precious.  I have this one life, and I can love and appreciate with a level and depth was not previously possible.

I made myself a promisewhen I was 19, that I would live a full life, and cry all of my tears, and laugh all of my laughter. I would love until there is nothing left, until God rebuild me again so I do it all again. And here I am.

I am here. I am whole. And I am ready.