The Habit of Happiness


We can get into a habit of almost anything.  In fact there have been many books written about how to create habits, from drinking water, to being organized to exercising (which I am still working on). But most people over look one critical habit:  The habit of happiness. Most are under the impression that happiness just happens.  It’s magic, one day you are miserable and then one day 0 poof! – you turn happy.  In reality it doesn’t happen that way.

Many also think that once they achieve or gain “X”, that they will be happy.  It could be a new job or promotion or relationship, or car, or whatever…but the bottom line is while those things may make you happy for a little while, that doesn’t last either.  And if you were not satisfied before, you will not be after either.

The truth is that happiness is a lot of work.  It isn’t magic, it is purposefully working at it every day, setting your intentions and following through with actions.  That is the only way to take the illusion of happiness into reality.  But…how do we do that?

First, know that you can change your circumstance if you are not happy.  It truly doesn’t matter where you start, it is where you want to be and how hard you are willing to work at it.  You are not a tree, you can move and grow.  You can change your position any time you. Like.  That is the magic about life, you can write your own story.  The change will not be instant, it will take time.  But eventually it will change.

Helping others will also bring a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction.  Maybe it is getting your mind off your own problems, or realizing that in comparison, your issues may not be as bad as others.  Maybe it is the endorphins that are released into the body, maybe it is Karma I don’t know.  But helping others will boost your happiness as well.

Also fostering meaningful connections helps to.  Do this by being very intentional with how you second your time.  Wonder why they say those who spend more time on social media are more depressed and less satisfied?  Because they agree not really connecting with anyone.  They are seeing life through filters…which is not real.  There is no substantial sharing.  Gossip, small talk, complaining and negative conversations tend to drain you of your energy.

It may sound basic, but getting enough sleep and enough exercise is key to happiness as well.  We don’t function well if we are tired. And our bodies won’t feel good if we are sedentary.  Get off the couch, put the phone down, and go for a run or walk.  The exercise will help you sleep better too.

Be aware of the company you keep. If you have those who are constantly miserable, have drama or are always involving you in unnecessary dramas, then run, run like the wind!  These people are vampires and can suck the happiness right out of a room. Do not waste your precious time and energy on what doesn’t serve you. Instead, surround yourself with those who are positive and supportive.  I don’t mean “yes” people, I mean people who spend there time working to better themselves and their lives s well. People who will support you. In your dreams by being honest and those who are willing to help.

But to me the most important factor in being happy is paying close attention to how your life feels right now, and how you want it to feel.  IF you want to be fulfilled, then do and go after only that which makes you feel that way.  If you want a life filled with laughter, then be around what makes you laugh.  Don’t attached happiness to a list, simply follow what feels good, what makes you laugh.  And if it doesn’t make you feel the way you want your life to feel?  Then get rid of it.  That includes people.

I have learned that life is too short to waste of that which does not make you happy.  Knw that you have the power to make your life whatever you want it to be.  You may have to change your way t=of thinking, but happiness can be a habit too.

Speak to me

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