In a Years Time


It is said that life is a series of changes.  Nothing stays the same and we must always adapt of we want to be good at this thing called life.  We grow, we get comfortable, and then things change.  Change often takes us out of our comfort zone and therefore can be very painful and cause a lot of anxiety.  And then there are the times when we must rebuild our lives completely.  I am convinced that this happens many times in life, as I have been through several already. Rebuilding from scratch is one of the most painful, and rewarding, experiences in life.

And what causes a life to be rebuilt from scratch?  Any number of things, really. It could be a divorce or end  of a long term relationship, death of a loved one, loss of a job, etc. or any traumatic event.  Or maybe you are just tired and want a clean slate, so you just start over.  And that is the thing about life, it is never too late to start over, never too late to be what you have always wanted to become.

No doubt that the landscape of my life has changed drastically over the past year. Two years ago, my life and I, are almost unrecognizable.  So it makes sense to start over with a new life, so to speak. But how do you build a new life?  That is the question.

I don’t really know as everyone and every life is different.  But it takes a lot of work, a lot of crying, a lot of praying, a lot of faith, and lot of pruning people out of your life, and keeping them out, and a lot of trial and error.  And it takes a lot of intention and perseverance.  Lucky for me, perseverance is my middle name. And it takes just jumping out and doing it.

But when we are done (but we never really are done, are we?), and we look up, we see just how far we have come and how much we have accomplished, in a year’s time.

In a year’s time. How strange those word sound to me.  I was shattered in all ways, from heartbreak from all directions.  I looked at a photo last night of 6 people who were at the sibling reunion on Father’s Day of 2016. And all of them are gone. In a year’s time.  I was alone many nights, with nothing but the arms of my beautiful Angels to guide me, clinging to my faith for dear life, because that is all that I had left. That and a cool, steel inner core cut by a deep river of molten lava of sheer Will. In a year’s time.

In a year’s time my life is new. I have a new place in the world, new goals and drives, new dreams, new reality and new love. I have a life that has been built on the firm foundation of the sanctity of the human soul. And I will protect that with all that I have. Because when you have rebuilt yourself and your life from the ground up, from nothing into something magnificent and beautiful, you become very protective of it.  You don’t let just anyone touch it, feel it or into it. You respect it for the beautiful and time consuming priceless piece of art that it is.

In a year’s time. We grow, we love, we live, we stumble and fall, we get up, we try, and we fail. We try again.  We hurt, we heal, we believe, we rest and we have faith.

I have new creative project on which to work, and I am throwing myself into life whole heartedly, passionately and completely. I am no longer bound by the ties of the old life.  I am exercising (most days), doing yard work, housework and keeping up with wonderful friends. I while miss my parents dearly, my life is full. My heart is whole. Life is good. And I am happy.

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