Or maybe I should say attempts PiYo. As many of us do, I have decided to get back to working out. I used to run and box. And somehow, with all the everything that has happened over the past two years, my workouts where thrown out of the window along with my skinny jeans.
And so part of trying to have it all together is exercising and being healthy. Let me make a note that none of us have it all together. Even those who look like they have it all together – don’t. And if anyone says they have it all together is lying. To your face. The only difference between us and them is that they have managed to keep up that delicate, caffeine and or alcohol induced facade. Behind closed doors I guarantee they are stuffing their faces with Oreo, or have dust under the beds, laundry that isn’t folded or such.
So I want to have most of it together. And I want to wear my skinny pants again. I want the ass to be spanktacular, and have shoulders to die for. Truth is I miss all those cute clothes that hang in my closet, laughing at me, silently judging me and my juicy thighs.
So I decided on PiYo to get me started back to the land of the healthy and firm. It is a cross between pilates and Yoga. And it is tough with a capital T. especially if you are a clumsy klutz like me. Thank goodness I am doing this in the privacy of my own home an not the gym…no doubt there would be a very amused audience as they watched me trip, fall, wobble and shake as I try to do all the poses and moves.
I have flashbacks to the belly dancing classes, where they tried to teach me a routine – tried being the operative word. Yes, I could do all the moves – the shimmies and the4 shakes – but to put them all together into one fluid, beautiful and sensual dance routine was just too much for my limited coordination. And I fell on my bum more times than I could count. I had flashbacks to the terrible Treadmill incident of 2007…when I fell on the treadmill and walked away with one solid bruise that started and my ankles and went all the way up to my chest – including the arms.
But I managed to get through the first workout of PiYo, after falling on the coffee table…and the chair that was used dying the workout. And got twisted into some position I was briefly stuck in… and I thought, “This is it, this is how it ends…”
After some effort I was able to resume the workout. And have you ever tried to workout with cats? If they are ot jumping on you, they are under you or close to your feet. Again, not a good combination for a klutz.
And now, a few days and workouts later, I have some bruises, a scrape or two, and am a bit sore. But I am getting the hang of it, I think. And so it goes. Pray for me….