It is a strange things, to have the family compound for sale. While lot has been up for sale for quite a while now, but this time it is different. This time I think that it will sell because this is a different kind of real estate agent.
And when it sells there will be an emotional goodbye to all the history and memories that live there as well. It is the last place that the family was all together and happy, the place where I went to recharge, belong and be loved. But it is time for it to be that for another family. But when the compound is sold, all that history will be sold with it.
I have been through it before, in a way. I had to pack up and move all of Dad’s things out of his apartment at the assisted living place after he died. To see his apartment, the last place I saw him, spoke to him, hugged him, empty was heartbreaking. That was hard and the sale of the family house will be harder. There are so many more things, and 20 years worth of memories.
When the compound sells, there will be no place that exists where I will have memories of being a daughter. No place to go to remind me of what it was like to be their daughter. It will all be memories, but memories fail. And I am terrified of forgetting.
I want to have friends down, and take my boyfriend there as well. I want to share with them this beautiful place that means so much to me. I want to tell my boyfriend the stories and the history. I want him to know where it is that I come from. I want to tell the stories of the fruit trees, mowing the lawn and where the gardens where. I want them to see the beauty of the sunrise on the water, here the eagles cry and the owls at night. The frogs and crickets, and look up to see how many stars are really in the sky when you get away from the city lights.
There are stories and memories that make me who I am and why and how. I call taking care of the compound a “joyful burden.” Taking care of the place, making sure it is clean, and good, and inviting, is the last thing I can do for my parents. And anything that I can do for them, or in their memory, is a joy. It is a burden because it was never supposed to be taken on by one. In that respect it can be overwhelming, extremely emotional and difficult. This was a place created by and with love, it was their love that made the space so beautiful. And so it must be cared for with love. I truly believe that people can feel when there is love connected with a space.
And so I will handle the joyful burden, and enjoy making a few more memories with those closest, tell the stories, share tears and laughter and wine and beer. All things in life are fluid and temporary, so enjoy them while you can and make them great. Make great memories, have meaningful moments and love.
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