The Joy

Be strong, Ada. I have tremendous respect for you as one of the most deeply honest and loving people I have ever met. I know those traits, and a few well-chosen friends, will lead you back to joy soon enough.”

I recieved this message not quite a year ago from someone I had not heard from in a very long time. This person could always read my mood and what kind of day I had within 3 seconds of seeing me.

And at the time I read the message, I cried. Because it was such a beautiful message of encouragement and hope, but also because joy seemd so far away. I could not even imagine how, when or where the joy might return. I seemed light years away.

When I would get discouraged, overwhelmed and lost, I would read that message and just hold on and pray. Pray so hard through the tears and beg for the joy.

And finally, the joy is here, not just over the horizon or around the corner, but at my feet, close enough to touch. I can see it, smell it, feel ot, taste it. After hundreds of prayers, thousands of baby steps and millions of heart beats, I feel joy bubbling up from eceey part of me. Still very aware of the darkenss, and I still have my moments, but I know I never have to go through anything like that again.

So thank you for that message, friend. And you were right. While life isn’t perfect, it is joyful. And it is getting better every minute.

“I have a heart full of deep contentment, and joy. So much joy. I know this is all sappy but after the past two years I get to have this and I get to enjoy this.”

Speak to me

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