The Goodbye in the End

There are things that we all look forward to in life. And this year I am looking very much forward to the end of the year.  This year, and last, have been the most difficult of my life and I am happy to say goodbye.  This New Years marks a huge end for me, it is the final closure on the past 2 years of dealing with the death of both of my parents.  And all of the subsequent and collateral loss. It is a psychological mile marker.  And I cannot wait for the fresh start.

New Years Day is often a new beginning fo many of us.  The start of the new year, all of the blank pages and all of the possibilities,  I have worked hard this last year to get my life and myself not only back together, but happy and healthy as well.

This time of year is traditionally a very festive and happy time, but for me it is bittersweet as I say goodbye to all that has been.  All of the heartache, all of the loss, all of the bitter, all of the everything that made the past two years difficult.  It it is very liberating.  To know that I no longer have to carry such things in the new year, that moving forward I can cast off the old skin, with the old scars.  There is something beautiful about that.  And I can see my parents smiling and waving to me as I turn to go. They will always be watching over me, but I must return to my life now.

And turning to 2018, there are so many things to look forward to.  A new job, new freelance opportunities, new writing, my books, trips to take, a new life to create out of the rubble from this year. Like the Phoenix, I rise, just like I was taught.  And I pray with renewed faith.  God got me through the last two years. He did not let me fall or fail.  He kept my head above water, gave me the strength to do what needed to be done, and now His blessings are coming. I will serve him as best as I can in this next year with a willing and Joyful heart.

And love, I can see that there will be more love in the next year than there ever has been before.   I am and will continue to be surrounded by love. Saying goodbye frees my mind and my heart to be wide open and accept all that is given. It also allows me to give freely without fear or limits. There is someone waiting for me, someone with whom I can pray. Someone with whom I can build.

Life is waiting for me, whispering to me to come and follow.  To see, live and experience the world in true color and in stereo.  There are paths left to take, adventures to explore, roads to travel.

Only 11 more days of the year left.  Only 11 more days to honor all that has happened and give a proper goodbye. Only 11 more days before the beginning of the rest of my life.