They say that one of the best ways to help yourself is to help another person. This is very true and I am seeing that again from personal experience. I am helping my nephew with goal setting and how to make those goals into reality. This has made me realize how lazy I have been with my own goals, or maybe just very busy with other things in life. But now it is time to refocus and start back. In a way, my nephew nd I are going through a similar phase – new beginnings, trying new things and accomplishing our dreams. We are both starting over, if you will.
But how do you even start? I don’t know what works for everyone, but I do know what has worked for me.
Have pride: First you must have pride in yourself, in your dreams and in your abilities. You must look around at where you are and have enough pride in yourself as a person that you want better than what you have right now. Pride gets a bad rap, but it is what will help motivate us to rise and do better, be better and want better. Without that level of pride, we just slump on the couch and accept whatever is given to us in life. That is being too passive. No one accomplished anything great by just accepting. You accomplish great things by knowing that you were destined for more and better, that where you start has no bearing on where you end up.
Take an active role: This goes along with the above. You must take an active role in your life. If you don’t care enough to be active in your life, no one else will either Don’t; just sit back and take it. Stand up and make it happen for yourself. Make opportunities, seek them out, take them when they come. Once you make your wishes known, the Universe will start lining things up for you.. And opportunities beget other opportunities.
Do at least one thing: This combines two theories of mine into one. First is an Elanor Roosevelt Quote: Do one thing every day that scares you. And the other theory which is do for yourself first when you are attaining your dreams. For instance. While my nephew is with me, I have asked him to do things around the house to help put. But before that, he should research schools, their admission requirements and places that are hiring. He should do these things for himself first. And the older you get the harder it is to do for yourself first. But the people who love you will understand and will be there for you to help and cheer you on.
Get rid of the dead weight: We have all had those people in our lives who suck all our energy away and into their drama and problems. Don’t get sucked in. It is easy to let these people get us sidetracked with their drama, conflict and useless tale chasing. While everyone has a messy life every now and then those who are constantly going through drama and conflict need to be cut. If those people stay in your life. Then days, weeks, month, or even years in some cases, can slip away before you know it and you have not accomplished any of your goals and dreams.
Have a ridiculous work ethic: Too make it, you must first make up your mind as to what you want, then you must be willing to work harder than you have ever worked in your life to make it happen. You must believe it with such passion that it has no choice but to happen. Visualize your success, make a goal board, do whatever you must do to stay motivated to work toward what you want.
And pray: For me, because I am both spiritual and religious, this is actually one of the most important things. I pray for guidance and wisdom in my choices. I pray for opportunities and patience in waiting. I pray for a lot of things. For me, my faith is an integral part of success and accomplishing my dreams.
Never listen to the odds: The odds don’t matter. I have never thought about the odds, because in my mind, they do not apply to me. I will simply keep going until I either succeed or possibly change my mind. I know, you are not supposed to change your mind, but sometimes it does happen. When I was growing up, I was going to be an academy award winning actress. Now, that still may happen, but I became a writer instead, because as I grew my dreams changed. Even then the “odds” were not in my favor, if I ever stopped to pay attention to them. But here I am, writing away and being happy.
There are thousands of books written on the topic. But helping my nephew has motivated me. After such a tumultuous period, it is time to get back to living, loving, taking risks and building the life of my dreams. The best way to help yourself, is by helping others. You learn about that person, about yourself, about the process and you build up some good karma.