The Absence of Fear


One of my favorite people in the world recently text messaged me and said that he was no longer afraid. Of what, I asked? And he said anything, he was no longer afraid of anything. And I started thinking about that myself.

It is said, and I truly believe, that the decisions we make in life are based out of one of two things: either love or fear. Fear can be a very powerful thing keeping us in place and keeping us from moving or doing. Fear is a waste of time.

It  dawned on me that in the past 18 months, I have said goodbye, I have lost, both of my parents, I have said goodbye to four siblings, I have said goodbye to the man I would thought I was going to marry, and who I thought would be the love of my life. I have said goodbye to dear friends whonI still miss very much.

And you know what, I’m still here. 

After all the pain, all the commotion, all the struggle and heartbreak, finally when the dust settles. you realize that there’s nothing to be afraid of.  Because none of it kills you. My heart still beats, I’m still me. I’m still happy. When you go through life and experience the most painful things you can in a lifetime, you still come out on the other side okay, and alive, and still intact, and still You. You still have the ability to love, and laugh, and believe, and hope, and dream, and smile, and feel, and live.

You then realize there’s nothing to be afraid of. You’ve already lived through the worst of it. So what else is there to fear?

Rejection? Please. The man I thought I was going to marry cheated on me with prostitutes and strippers. Next! Loss, or grief? I held both my parents hands as they passed away. I’m good. Lost love? See rejection above. I’ve got that covered and I’m good. Family? No, I’m good with that too. Loss of friends, I’ve been through that. And I’m still here. And I’m good. And I’m still happy. And I’m still ME.

Those experiences while incredibly painful, only added to the depth, Bredth and width of me. Of my soul, my ability to love, of my ability to be me. All of those experiences blend in to an incredible person who has had an incredible journey. You just have to find the gift and all of it.

And that’s the thing about life – in the absence of fear you find, Freedom. 

And that perhaps is the most amazing thing of all.

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