We all have insecurities and vulnerabilities That is part of being human, and going through the human Experience. Every one of us have had “fat days”, bad hair days, bad make up days, or just days were we felt like we looked horrible. Men feel it too, seeing small fit guys on TV, or running around their office. Let’s face it, all of us know that none of us are perfect.
And yet there is almost a need to remind people of their flaws, hitting those insecurities and vulnerabilities right on the head. The worst is when it happens to kids. But adults get it too.
I recently saw a speech that musician Pink made when she accepted the Vanguard award. She talked about how her hdaughter said that she felt like the ugliest girl, because the kids said she looked like a boy with long hair…
Just another reason to love this artist. I swear she is my spirit animal and one of my insorations. Truth be told people have made fun of me all of my life too. I was always the strange one, always to one who was writing, or had the big vocabulary no could could really understand. But I refused to change. Why should I change because of someone else’s opinion of me? Who are they? And why should their opinion mean anything to me?
But more than anything that people love to say when finding fault and making fun of me, if the drama queen, over dramatic, brought it on yourself card.
There was victim blaming when I was attacked (6 years ago to the day today). I deserved it, there was something wrong with me, I brought is on myself, I asked for it and I was being dramatic when talked about how bad it was (never mind the pictures).
Fast forward to now, the most recent: My siblings telling me that I am just a drama queen causing trouble and bad things that have happened is life finally catching up to me. One telling me before Mom died that I was being overly dramatic and exaggerating – when I would beg them, someone, anyone to please, please, help me get Mom to a doctor because there was something wrong with her, she wasn’t eating and was becoming anorexic. I begged and said that if someone doesn’t help her, she will slowly starve herself to death and die from malnutrition.
And indeed she did, it is even listed as the cause of death on her death certificate. For three long years I warned everyone, while others made fun of me. And I did not change.
And my most recent ex, accused me of being a drama queen when I was so upset that he cheated on me with prostitutes and strippers. Called me a drama queen when I said I had to go to the funeral home to see my father’s body and to please do not have my utilities turned off the day after Dad died. And I did not change.
So let me make this very clear to those of you who read this blog on a regular basis and all others who made fun of me – Do you see me changing to please you? Do you see me not telling the truth? Do you see me shying away from telling my thoughts or opinions? Do you see me not talk about the things and people in my life on this blog? Do you see me change the way I conduct my life? Do you see me change my writing style? No?
Do you see me living a happy life? Do you see me smiling? Do you see me following my dreams? Do you see me being a successful writer, who makes a great living (and who now has a book deal)? Do you hear me sing because my soul is light and happy? Do you see me glowing and laughing and working on projects that I only want to work on? YES.
So I’ll cash my checks and place my bets
And hope I’ll always win
Even if I don’t I’m f*cked because
I live a life of sin
But it’s alright
I don’t give a damn
I don’t play your rules, I make my own
I’ll do what I want
Cause I can- : Pink – ‘cuz I Can Lyrics | MetroLyrics
Because, as Pink said, we, those who are made fun of, do not change. We become what inspires change in others. We, by standing strong and firm in the comfort of our own skin, our own mind, our own knowledge of ourselves, make the rest of the world see that they need to have more compassion and understanding.
And indeed, I get messages every week about those who have read my words and been inspired. It is my honor and privily to inspire, to create, to make someone think or feel or discuss.
To those of you who tear others down to make yourselves feel better – Take a seat. Work on yourselves so that one day you too have peace and are comfortable within yourself. And then maybe you will see the many different kinds of beauty in others and in the world.
Here is a little secret, I don’t care what you say or think, because I am too busy living a great life, surrounded by amazing people who love me. So those who say bad and disparaging things about me, please continue. You not only have my permission but my blessing as well. If that is the most constructive thing you can find to do in this world, if I am the best thing you have to talk about…then that is sad. And I do not change.
And to all those like me who have been made fun of, or picked on or had your vulnerabilities exposed and exploited so that they felt better about themselves…YOU are beautiful. YOU are perfect. YOU are enough. Don’t change for them. They know nothing about you, your soul, your depth or your life. So you go on being your bad ass self. And one day, I promise you, you will find your tribe, your people who will love you just the way you are. In the meantime, dazzle the world…
You being you can change the world. Your drum, your thoughts, your beauty, your wonder, you, yourself, are so much more powerful and beautiful than you know.