What I Love

There Are things that we discover in life that we love.  That no matter where we are, it there are things we want in our life, things that make us happy.  And I have discovered that taking care of others is what makes me happy.

There are only two men I have ever lived with in my life, and I loved them with all my heart. Another that I loved was living with them and taking care of them.  I loved cooking for them, spending time with them, even in the dull mundane ordinary days of life.  I loved doing laundry for them (did’t love folding it) and loved making sure that they had what would make them happy in the  house – their favorite foods, wine, beer, whatever.

I also loved planning with them, the whole things about doing and handling things together. I loved picking out a new house to rent with my ex, I loved looking at possible homes to buy. And planning trips and dates and all of the every day things too. I loved having a partnership.

And when we determine what we want in life, we have to take an honest look at when we were the happiest, and when we weren’t. When we decide how we want our life to feel, we have to identify what it is that makes us feel the best and most fulfilled.  For me, it is taking care and serving and loving others.

And so, as I move forward in what will make me happy, I recognize this about myself.  I want to live with another, to be a partnership, to take care for them and be a team.  I am the happiness in life when I am giving and taking care of those I love.  I am the happiest when loving.  When I look back on my life, that is when I was filled with the most joy.

So raise your glass to what makes you happy.  And go after it with such passion that it must some to fruition.

Advertisements

Wisdom and Seasoning

I remember talking to one of my best friends on the night before my father’s memorial service.  I was sobbing to her and saying that I did not think that I could do it.  I didn’t think that I was strong enough (the only time I have ever said that). I was crying so hard that I could barely speak.  And she told me something that stuck. She said:

“Tomorrow will be the hardest day of your life; the day of your father’s service.  But after tomorrow the is day done, and Nothing will ever hurt you that bad again for the rest of your life.”

And she was right.

The good thing about that is that no matter what other’s may try to you, no matter how vindictive they are to you or how nasty, they will never be able to hurt you, because you have already been through the worst. And nothing will ever hurt you that bad again.  So it doesn’t matter what others do.

And they hate that, that they cannot touch you or truly hurt you any worse than has happened before.  They will try though. People who are that vindictive are so miserable that all they can do is make everyone else miserable around the, so the best thing to do is to just let them be.  Karma will sort them out.

As we get older wehave experiences, both good and bad, that make the rest of life easier.  We know what to expect and how life works, because this isn’t our first rodeo.  This same friend also said several months ago about getting over my horrible ex:

“That is the thing about getting older, you have had a broken heart before, you know  what it is and that it doesn’t kill you.  You know it’s may be rough for a little while, but then you are like, ‘Oh OK, let’s get this done and over with so I can get on with things.'”

And so it goes, with life and experiences.  Once you get to a certain age and a certain level, you have already been there and done that.  You know what it takes and so you pull up a chair, pure a glass of wine and settle in for the storm, because you know it won’t last.

There are many benefits to being well seasoned in life, truly being a woman and all that it encompasses.  You know how the world works and why.  You take pride in those scars you have acquired, because they show a life well lived and well loved – and well survived.  You have stories and memories, because you have had a life.

So be proud of your seasoning and wisdom.  It is a right denied to many.  Now, raise your glass and let’s all have a toast.