In the Book The Secret it talks about the power of attraction. This is a universal rule that basically whatever we out there is what we will get back. If we are negative and pessimistic, we will get that back in return. The same if we are angry or sad or scared. Also the same if you are happy, optimistic and positive. There is also a rule that every decision you make is made out of love or out of fear.
I have been doing a lot of meditation and prayer lately about this very thing. I want a life of love, so I have to move forward in love, because what attitude I have, is what will come back in spades. And the only way to shield myself from whatever negative, hateful and otherwise destructive forces out there, is to be so immersed in love and positivity, that there is not space for those negative things to land.
So I start with the past year. It has been a tumultuous, extremely difficult year. But if I make a decision out of love instead of fear, I can find the positives:
My parents: While there are nothing positive about loosing both your parents, I can say that it has made me a stronger person, or maybe I didn’t know how strong I was already? I didn’t know. I do know that the experience has also made me much more compassionate and understanding than I was before. I also appreciate every little word and every little things I can remember about them and what they said and what they taught me. There are no more memories that I can make with them, but I can carry what I do have in my heart forever. And I can take the wonderful example they gave me of what a healthy, loving relationship should be like. I also understand my capacity to love, which I did not know until now.
My family: A death can really rip a family apart or pull it together. At first I wasn’t sure which way it was going to go. Now I see that it has brought all of us together. From my siblings, to my cousins, to aunts that remain. There is a much deeper appreciation of all of us now, at least for me. And I want to know them better, all of them. There is so much love there; it is time to explore that for this generation.
The boyfriend: Granted there has not much good to say about him in the latter part of the relationship…but if I am honest I have to say he was wonderful at first. When Mom first passed away I truly do not know what I would have done without his love, support and assistance. I was overwhelmed, and he stepped in and helped me figure out which way was up. He held me when I cried, helped make my father feel wanted and at home, and cooked many meals, did many dishes and folded many towels. I truly would have been lost without him during that time. Moving forward, I am going to try to keep these memories in my mind.
My friends: They say you find out who your friends truly are when life gets bad. Well, I found out that I had the best friends on the planet, and many of them. They were the ones who would call me several times a day and remind me to take a shower, get dressed, eat some food. They were the ones who held me when i cried and helped me figure out how to walk again (how to put one foot in front of the other when all you don’t even think you can get out of bed). They were the ones who wrote my parent’s obituaries, who drove ours to say goodbye to my parents and give me a hug, who would talk to me and listen to me cry panicked not knowing what to do, or would just let me vent.
The boyfriends parents: They deserve an honorable mention, because they were so good to my father. They were the first new people he met after leaving his home and friends to relocate up to Atlanta. He left everything he loved, and they were a welcome respite for him. His own age, educated and having many of the same interests. They were his friend. And for that, I will always be grateful and will always love them. They were and have been very good to me as well, even after the break up. They are truly good people.
The house: Both houses that I lived in during this past year were blessings. The first house, though far away from everything, was what I called the “Blessed House.” as soon as I talked inside I knew it was special and would be a place of Peace and magic. Indeed it was. That was where my parents came to recover from chemo treatments and long trips. It was where I came to find peace after the house of mold, and it was where the boyfriend and I were the most happy. In short, life in that house was magic. I have never been happier, then when I lived there. The next house was just as much of a blessing, but for different reasons. The house I am in now was perfect for what was needed at the time, and beautiful to boot. Great location, lots of space, and a master on the main for Dad. And amazing landlords who are truly beautiful people.This is the house of recovery, as I have rebuilt my life here too.
And now I move forward, attracting the positive and love that is out there for me. I have worked hard and will continue in order to make sure that I have the life that I want.
And in life, sometimes you have to make that decision, and believe it with such passion that it comes true. It all starts with changing to find the positive. That can be hard though, as there is anger, sadness, grief, disappointment and a thousand other emotions along in life. And it is natural to feel them, natural to express those emotions, and we must in order to be healthy. The trick is not to stay there too long – visit, but don’t move in.But somehow, we have to work hard to let those negatives go. And that takes work, That takes courage, introspection and objectivity. And it takes a lot of faith.
But the ends justify the means. Because when you do come to the other side, ready to move forward, you do so with the blinders off and the world at your feet. Your smile is real and deep. And you move forward from such an authentic place, that the world shifts to meet you. I’ll see you there.