Holy Sheet

Mom, OK if you were still here this would be one of the moments that I call you and ask how did you do it?  How did you manage to fold sheets?  And have the top sheet and bottom sheet be the same size?  And all the sheets the same size?  How did you fold the bottom fitted sheet at all?

When you folded sheets, they looked amazing, almost like a work of art – and I am convinced the fitted bottom sheets you folded actually were.  Your sheets could be in a commercial they looked so pretty.

In addition to not being able to find what you used to make the laundry smell so wonderful, I cannot for the life of me figure out how you managed to fold the sheets and make them look so nice, and neat, and uniform and wonderful.  I have folded what seems like every sheet in the house and none of them are the same.  The tops and the bottoms are not the same at all.  Mine are wrinkled, ill sized, and look messy.

I have tried everything and every which way to get them to look like how they did when you folded them.  I have done over and under, long ways and short ways. I have laid them put of the floor and tried to fold with creases.  I have fought with them like Snoopy and the lawn chair…and the sheets won. And still, they look awful, like a four year old tried to fold them.  Kind of like when Dad tried to make the bed for the first tie…except I have been folding sheets for years.

I have said it before and will say it again.  You were magic.  Your sheet folding ability is just one example.  Love and miss you always.



Nice Guy or Good Man

“I may be a real bad boy, but baby I’m a real good man.” – Tim McGraw

If you are like most women, you want to date a nice guy.  Well I am sick of these “nice guys”.  I want a Good Man, and there is a huge difference, it has just taken quite a while to understand.  I have always said how much I want a nice guy to date, someone sweet and affectionate and honest and nice…well forget that.  Give me a good man over a nice guy any day, and I will tell you why.

The last man I dated was a “nice guy.” And he was horrible.  Nice guys are what I call the good-on-paper guys, meaning that if you look at their credentials on paper, they look perfect.  Good looking?  Check. Well educated? Check?  Good job/career? Check.  Nice family? Check.  No drugs? Check.  No prior felonies? Check.  The list could go on and on, but basically, once you get to know them you see that beyond the paper pedigree, they really aren’t nice at all.

They don’t care about how they treat people, who who they hurt, or even how or why they hurt them…as long as they get what they want and their image stays in tact.  That is exactly how my ex was.  “No one threatens my reputation!” he would text me after  I refused to stay quiet when I found out he was cheating on me with prostitutes and strippers.  No, he wasn’t concerned about the kind of person he actually was, just what kind of person people thought he was.  My answer to that is: If you don’t want to be embarrassed when people know what you do, then don’t do embarrassing things.  He should have thought about that before hand.

Now, if you met this guy, he would seem very nice and helpful, after all he is a career coach and project manager. He connects people, gives them advice, is Catholic and has a very nice large Catholic family.  He smiles, has manners and says all the right things, everyone likes him and his reputation was pristine…BUT, he is not a good man.

A GOOD MAN, is less worried about his reputation and more worried about his integrity.  This is because any person with good morals, character and integrity will stand up for what’s right and thus will inevitably make a few enemies.  A good man is more worried about his conscience than other people’s perception of him.  I would much rather have a man with enemies but who does what is right, than a good looking, Rico Suave who everyone loves, but who is secretly a jerk.

“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.” – Winston Churchill

A good man will treat a woman like a lady, no matter how she acts, because he has class.  A good man will not lie to spare someone’s feelings, or just to get what they want from someone. A good man will tell the truth, even when it is difficult, even when there is a chance he won’t get anything he wants.  Because a good man values honesty over opportunity.

A good man is strong enough to shoulder his woman and her troubles.  He would never leave her in the middle of a difficult situation.  A good man has compassion and empathy, because he understands humanity.  A good man will protect a woman, not be whom she needs protecting from.

A good man doesn’t care what others think, as long as he knows he has done the right thing, by God and his own conscience.  A good man will do what is right, not what is easy. It is much easier to make excuses and blame others, but a good man will admit when he is wrong and apologize when needed. A good man has backbone and the courage of his convictions, because he actually has convictions.

A good man is also strong enough to know when he needs help, or when it is time for improvement and self reflection. My last ex , a nice guy, refused any counseling, even after a difficult divorce, a death of a loved one and the demise of our relationship.

A “Nice guy” might say all the right things and be charming a sweep you off your feet, but his actions will not match his words.  A nice guy will always have motives or keep score with the what he does, and expect quick turn around on payback, with interest. A good man’s actions will always match his words because he understands that is how you earn trust. He will not require payback and will not keep score.  Getting something back in return is simply a bonus.

A good man is slow and steady, knowing that anything worthwhile is worth working hard for, whether it’s a job, a career or a woman.  A good man doesn’t blame others or make excuses, is he not entitled.  He simply is.

So give me a good man, I am through with the nice guys.  I don’t care what a man looks like on paper, because paper is two denominational, and real life has more layers and angles than can be measured.  Give me a man who has the depth and breadth to handle life beyond the paper machete cut out of himself. I want that man.

Sitcom Moment #694: The Dinner Party

It was the first dinner party in the house.  I have lived there maybe 10 months, but have been so busy with family and other duties that there has not been much opportunity for fun things like dinner parties, or parties or lots of company. Well, that has changed.  I have always enjoyed having friends over, and now that my plate is clear, it is time to start that back up.

And some people enjoy having company more than being company.  I enjoy seeing my friends, but if I can have them over to my house, even better. As long as they are not allergic to cats, we will have a great time.

So dinner was made, pot roast with all the fixings- I am a very Southern cook and enjoy southern food.  And friends were coming over.  There was talking, laughing, stories told, some business and wine.  As any good dinner party goes, most conversation ends up in the kitchen, or around the dinner table. Indeed, after much of the meal was done, friends still lingered in the kitchen area.  The comfy couch and living room was only briefly enjoyed before the food was ready.  And also the magnificent deck.

We all have the need to make were we live, our house, a home.  And the only way to do that, as far as I am concerned, is to have a place filled with love, with laughter, friends and family.  And since I moved into that beautiful house, that is exactly what I wanted. And now that is exactly what I have.

And when it was all said and done, everyone was full, and we talked and laughed even more. then there were hugs and goodbyes and then dishes.  And then, after everyone had left, after the table cleared off and the counters wiped off, I looked down. And there I was, still standing in my pajamas.  Yes, I had completely forgotten to change clothes and hosted the entire dinner party…in my pajamas.

Thankfully my guest were too graceful or shocked to mention it.  Or perhaps thought they were lounging clothes and I was trying to be chic. Or maybe they just thought I was a bit of a ditz and forgot to change clothes.  Either way, everyone had a good time. Proof, once again, that my life is a sitcom.

I can hear you laughing…