Hi Mom

Hi Mom,
One of the things I miss are the phone calls…I would call you when I had a minute during the day. Today is one of the days I would call you, tell you about where I am working and what I am doing.

I would tell you about how they have big hammocks and couches outside, how I am right above the studios and that the people here are really nice. And that I sit close to an Emmy Award. I would tell you about the blue hair lady I saw in the elevator this morning (literally) and the other lady with white hair…with pink and purple polka dots.

And I would tell you that I am doing good.  That I am truly getting back to happy. And I would tell you how much I appreciate how much you and Daddy did for me, and how well you taught me how to handle the world. And how you and Dad are the best example of good human beings I have ever seen. And I would tell you that you are magic, and always have been

Thank you for being such a strict parent when I was younger and my best friend when I was older…And that even though I am glad that the profound grief is over, that I never want to stop missing you.  Because missing you is a testament to what a great parent you were, and how much love with which you served.  Missing you means honoring your memory and our close relationship.

Most of all Mom, I would tell you that I love and and miss you.  Tell Dad I love and miss him too. Thank you for everything.  Thank you for being magic.

I carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart.

100,004 Miles

We all have those moments, the ones I like the call the Oh Crap moments.  They are different than the Ah-ha moments which Oprah talks about in that the Oh Crap moments make you realize just how much something really did cost, how much work it took, or some other realization that doesn’t quite qualify as an ah-ha moment.

I had one of those moments to day when I looked down and realized the odometer on my car was about to hit 100,000 miles. I bought the car 4 years ago, yes, that’s 100,000 miles in 4 years.  That was my Oh Crap moment. While my parents were alive and aging, I took as good as care of them as I could from far away.  I lived 4.5-5.0 hours away and for a long time I was going to down to help them almost every weekend.  That is 500 miles round trip.  Every weekend almost, especially in the Spring when they were really busy.

One of the best investments I made was buying that car new, even though a new car depreciates as soon as you drive it off the floor…the reason is because I don’t think that many cars would have been so good to me and so easy to maintain.

The miles on the car reminds me of just how much I did take care of my parents and that there is truly nothing more I could have done for them  That is a good feeling. Several life times have been lived, loved and lost in that 100,004 miles on my car. And that is the miracle of life, it keeps going.