We all have dreams, goals, and work hard to have the life that we want, the life that we envision for ourselves. It has been a challenge for me to figure out what I want my life to be and look like with all the recent changes. But reshaping my life is part of healing and moving forward.
One thing is for sure, when we decide what it is we want our life to be, and how to serve our purpose, then we must work hard to make it happen. Just like a house takes effort to build, so does our life, one brick at a time.
And while I may not have all the details worked out yet, I know what I want my life to be: Love. I want a life so full of love that it encompasses everything. I want a life where love is so present that it is tangible.
And that kind of love can only come from God. He is the source, and I am the vessel. So I must the willing for Him to work through me in order to have that kind of love, to be that kind of love.
My mother knew this and prayed every day to be what was needed, to be the vessel that God needed her to be. And Dad followed suit. And their love goes on, even now. Over the weekend I was missing them so deeply. I asked them to please send me a sign, something only for me, that I would know. And they delivered, with love.
My mother gave me her sign in one of her usual ways, the sky. On the way back from seeing friends, I looked up and saw a cloud plainly in the shape of an “M.” That was Mom’s signature on many of her notes. So I knew that was from her. And I smiled. Dad’s sign, of course required a little more work.
His sign came as a dream about a boat in a bad storm. My family was trying to save everyone and the boat. My father called me on my cell and told me that the damage was bad, but could be fixed. Knowing the storm was dangerous, I asked where he was so I could help him off the boat. “I’m on the cheek,” Dad replied. I thought for sure he misspoke. “You mean the deck?” “No,” he corrected, “the cheek.”
The dream was very vivid, and I awoke wondering what the cheek of a boat was. Google to the rescue. Usually associated with gaff masts, the cheeks are knee shaped pieces of wood either side of the mast at the hounds which carry the trestle tree and the eyes in the end of the shrouds. They are also used around the keel. In short, they are the support and without them the boat would go off course. I solved Dad’s riddle and figured out his message is that he and Mom would still be my support when needed. What wonderful messages of love.
And so it goes. If we write our life, then love is the story I want it to be. I move forward with the intent of love. Love will be my motivation. There will be meditations of love and healing, which must be done to make things within me whole again. There will be prayers for inner peace.
I will build this life, step by step, one heartbeat at a time, with love. This beautiful house needs the sounds of friends, family, laughter and love in it. And so I will fill it with these.
I have often said that that which brings you love, will bring you peace. That what brings you Peace will bring you happiness.
Most think that a life of love is easy, but it’s not. It takes a lot of work to have love, peace and happiness. And by that I mean that you have to set your intentions every day to be your best, to pray and love God, to be willing to be a vessel of His love, even when it’s not easy. You must set the intention every day, and then at some point it becomes a habit, and a habit becomes a way of life.
You must also work to protect your love and intention in your life. So many times we can get sidetracked by others and their drama or their path when it is not meant for us. It doesn’t make those people bad, we just have to be picky with whom we choose to have at our table. Those who would be destructive or detrimental to our journey must not be allowed to stay. I used to wonder why my mother would not let some people close to us, and now I see that in her wisdom, she recognized those who would disrupt our life. This ability is needed to provide continuity in our lives if we are to keep love and peace at the helm.
And so begins this journey. I am still grieving, still figuring things out, still finding solid ground in which to grow roots. But I think that love is a good foundation. And all love originates from God. And so I pray.