I have heard that there are some events in life that cause one to have a sense of purging. They are usually life altering events that make us want to change a lot, clean out, lighten the load, make room for whatever lies next. And that is exactly what I am doing. It is the great purge of 2017.
I have been busy going through my parents things, cleaning out 49 years of things, records, pictures, collections, thoughts, book, papers, records, cards and more. I have sifted through so much, learned a lot about my wonderful parents, their life and relationships, friendships and dealings.
And I have thrown away more stuff than I thought possible. A whole lifetime worth actually. And I have listened for the whisper for who gets what. And the whispers have come quite a bit. Letting me know, of all my siblings and nephews, everyone’s boxes are full.
And I ave found surprises. My father left cards for us. For me, my sister and even the ex. I have no idea when he even bought these cards, there they are, lying around in curious places, where he knew I would have to go. They are placed very thoughtfully, in order, so as to easily tell who they are for. Birthday cards, thinking about you cards, wonderful cards. And gifts. Little things that both of them placed for us, like frames with picture already placed in them, little things hidden, waiting to be found, obvious who they are for by the content and context.
And the purge is making way for new to come in, and already things are stirring in my mind.
Travel: I need to travel, see new places, taste new food, get away and have fun. Laugh, love, be free. And so I am doing research, reaching out. The beach calls, and so do other trips. I have a passport and vacation time. All I need are the plane tickets. I have the vacation time and friends in great places. Belize? Greece? Italy? Turkey? And always the beach, and weekend away for mini vacations. Maybe all of them.
Re-arranging: I have been working in my father’s room. But maybe it is time to rearrange the house. My sister mentioned making the master suite on the main floor mine. At first I didn’t like the idea…but now I am starting to think about it, it just might be what is needed. And it has a huge his and her closet, and a pink ad white bathroom.
Activities: It is time to start doing. I am thinking of picking up belly dancing again A fun and sexy way to keep in shape. I did it several years ago, and it may be tie to start back up. Also horse back riding and hiking. My life had been so hectic that I didn’t get a chance to do that much. Now is the time to reconnect with my adventurous side.
Companionship: This is different that love. It is getting to know someone, trusting them and letting them see who you really are. It is being together, but taking your time. This is where I am. There is still much healing to do, and the man in my life understands that I am still very vulnerable. I am easily hurt right now. So I must be treated gently. With kindness, empathy and compassion. And he does. I was told that I need to keep my circle small right now, and not introduce a lot of new people into my life right now. And so I will take that advice, and rely on those who are tired and true, those who have been there for me time and time again. They will carry me through.
Family: This is a new opportunity to foster the family relationships that have been gently established. I want to see them grow, flourish even. I want to get to know my siblings on a deeper level. I want to spend time with them and for them to know me too.
Writing: It is time. I have had plans to work on my book for a long time now. The plan was to start working on it again while helping Mom recover from a minor procedure. It didn’t quite turn out that way. Now I have nothing holding me back, and my angels guiding me above for inspiration.
Myself: I should be surround by pretty, and I should be spoiled and pampered. So, regular massages, manicures and pedicures. Also exercise. And time for hobbies and to write just for pleasure. regular check ups and making sure I am healthy – spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally. I will take care of myself, something I did not have time to do before.
Faith: I have not been to church regularly in a while. I was busy taking care of everyone to go. I prayed at night, by myself, in the dark when the house was quiet and everyone was asleep. No more. I will go to church, I will pray with those who are with me. I will make sure that my spiritual needs are taken care of. My faith will grow and be a firm foundation for my future.
Life: I am not sure what else might come along. But there will be room for it. And I will be exceedingly picky about whom I let in. About what is allowed. The plan is to follow the goodness and follow what makes me feel how I want to feel – happy, fulfilled, deeply content. I do not want to chase what is superficial or temporary. I want roots. I want the good stuff. I want to make sure that what I rebuild is solid and true.
And so the purge is a good thing.