The Best Neighbors and Village

It Takes a village.

We have all heard the saying, and we all know that it is true when it comes to children. But what about adults?  Yes, I think it pertains to us too.  In our lives we need a village, a community of where we live, of people who will help us close by, of those whom we can trust. It is more than just knowing your neighbors, it is the humanity of compassion and understanding.  And God has placed me in an amazing place.

News has spread among my little neighborhood of 11 that my father has passed and the ex left right before. So now I am alone in this house. And there is such a village here, such a sense of community.  I have been shown such kindness. From the people across the street helping me when my car battery was dead, to making sure I have the name and number of the neighborhood yard person, to stopping by and checking in, to invites for a quick girls night out for dinner, the village is taking care.

There was a time when I would have been embarrassed, but the truth is, I need this village right now.  I need a community behind me as I figure out each step a long the way of healing. I need the love and support of others right now, cheering me on and gently helping out.

Everyone is also familiar with the notion that when you get negative out, your life improves because it frees up space for all the good to come in. And sure enough, every day, more positive things, situations and people are coming in, now that I have cast out negative people.

Grief is a universal these, so why should I ever settle for anyone who does not have compassion or empathy? Indeed, one should not. And now my life is so full of those who understand, who get it, who have humanity enough to grasp the concept, even if they have not been personally touched.

One of my neighbors gave me a gift and a card. A bracelet to remind me of my parents, and the card with the following.  I am beyond blessed to be in this space, with these people, in this village. This message, simple on its own, complex in it’s depth and raw in it’s truth. Beautiful. They understand what it is like.

Message from my neighbor:

Grief. I had my own notion of grief. I thought it was a sad time that followed the death of someone of you love and you just had to push through it to get to the other side. But I am learning there is no other side. There is no pushing through, but rather there is absorption, adjustment and acceptance.And grief is not something you complete. But rather you endure. Grief is not a task to finish and move on.  But an element of yourself – an alteration of your being. A new way of seeing, a new definition of life and self.

The wonderful, thoughtful gift to remind me of my parents and make me smile  🙂

It takes a village, and no doubt with my friends, and my neighbors, I will be fine.

Release and Catch

Sometimes we need to make a conscious effort in releasing the negative to make room for the wonderful positive things that are waiting for us.  The next three days I am working on releasing:

The pain of it all.  The last 9 months have been horrible.  Death,  loss, mourning, break ups, heartaches, betrayal.  I release all of the pain. It does not serve me anymore. I will concentrate instead on the memories, goodness and love.

The negativity: Of all that has happened.  It will not leave a permanent negative mark on me or my soul.  It does not serve me anymore. I will concentrate instead on the positive of everything that touches me.

The Fear: The fear of loss, the fear of not being loved, the fear of being alone, the fear of not being loved, the fear of being unlovable, the fear of everything not listed. It no longer serves me. I will concentrate instead on all that is before me in the world and how life is exactly what I want to make it.

The Guilt: The guilt of my life messing everything up, the guilt of my parents dying and taking away so much, the guilt of taking care of my father messing up the relationship. I no longer serves me. I will concentrate instead on the great job I have done dealing with and handling everything, even when there was no one to lean on.

The heartache: The heartache of losing the man I loved, the heartache of the betrayal, the heartache of what I thought was, the heartache of finding out the truth, the heartache of the life I thought I would have with this man. It does not serve me. I will concentrate instead on the good things he brought into my life, the love, helping me with my father, loving me, loving my father, him driving two hours just to see me and saying that k=my kiss was worth it and all other positives of the relationship.

I will let go of all that hurts me, confuses me, depresses me, saddens me. I will let go of all negatives so that positives will have room to come into my life and flourish. I will concentrate on all that brings me joy, truth, honor, honesty, integrity, love, life, joy, happiness, amusement, contentment.

I will live life with intent and purpose.  I will pray and have faith. I will trust in God and His word. I will have a life full of love and happiness.