I wrote this almost two years ago and found it as I was going through old notes I had written. It still speaks as strongly today as it did then.
The ConclusionKnow why I am, so hard on you? Because I have walked through the fires in the pits of hell and by the grace of God, I have come through. So if you are going to be in my life, be fucking present.I have earned the right have someone present. I have earned the right to be loved. I have earned the right to matter. I have earned the right to be comforted. I have earned the right to be cherished.There is so much you take for granted because you do not even see the brilliance in the human being in front of you.I have done all of this with no comfort. No arms, or kindness to hold me. It has all been alone. I did handle it, but it was so hard. So very hard.So this is me, the good bad and the ugly. But I am me. This is me.Ada 6/17/15