The Guts and the Glory

In this life you have to have guts.  Guts to say how you feel and do what needs to be done.  You also have to have the guts to do what is right for you, because it’s your life.  You ahve to be willing to sometimes make people upset, if it means that you are following your truth and what will make you happy.  Basically, you have to have the guts to have the life you want, a life that feels the way you want it to feel.

I have long said that instead of asking what job title you want, or what things you want to accomplish, or put on your bucket list, think about how you want you life to feel?  For instance, you may want a job title of VP…but what if that means that you are working 100 hours a week, never have time for your friends and family, and are always tired?  Is that how you want your life to feel?  No?  Then you probably will not be happy as a VP.  Instead, what makes you happy?  What inspires you?  Go after what will make you feel that way…not the job title, or zip code, or flashy car.  If you have to work all the time to afford that big house on the hill, maybe downsize so you can afford a house and sometime off (maybe a vacation?) Go after the feel.

And do to that, you have to have guts. And you have to follow your guts as well.  That means following that gut instinct that tells you where and what will make you happy, what will make you feel fulfilled and good.  Follow that positive energy that feeds the soul.

Oh, but that can be hard can’t it?  But it’s worth it. And that is what a good friend reminded me today as I was making a decision .  Go after the quality of life that you want, and don’t try to force it because of expectations.  And a weight was lifted off my shoulders.  It was a decision that I already knew, but wanted to run past someone to validate that I was not crazy. And indeed, having a the guts to follows your gut instinct is what will lead you to happiness.

How do you measure success?  By my quality of life.  That doesn’t mean fancy, expensive things.  That means being happy, being fulfilled, having a purpose and loving what I do.  Having a life I am excited to live every morning.  Sound corny?  Not at all.  Happiness is priceless and your guts will never lead you wrong.  Do it and start building the life you want.

The Fire in the Flood

It is amazing to me how things can just fall into place.  How many times, after such hard work, it can all come to fruition.  But first we have to make room for what we want in our lives.  And that can take a lot of work, and some time.  But the result is beautiful, as I have witnessed in my own life.  A great career where I can follow the quality of life I want.  My family is good and a wonderful relationship that amazes me every single day with how much happiness it brings into my life. Life is beyond good.  It is bliss.

But first, we all have those times in life, where we have to let go of that which does not serve us any more.  And this serves a great purpose in our life, even though it may be hard.  It makes room for the good a wonderful and positive. But we have to let go first. Even if it is family. And many times it is, or those with whom we have been close in the past, but whose path is different from ours.

Sometimes it is letting go of those who do not have the same values as we do, or those who actually may do us harm to have in our lives.  You have to let those people go, or they will deplete you of everything you have that is good.  They will replace love and light with their own darkness and hate filled skewed version of the world.  Let them go.

I have often wondered why some people insist on hanging on to what is not good for them.  I may never understand, but maybe we all f=do to some extent.  I know that I will try everything that I can before having a to walk away. So that when I do, I do so with the peace of mind knowing i could do nothing more, and to try would be damaging to me.

When we let go, there is a silence. It can be deafening at first, even heartbreaking.  But then there is peace. And joy. Written by a friend:

I should be use to the sounds of silence. Although it rings loudly ever still , I am no longer surprised by it. I see the weakness in it. I feel stronger in the echoes of it…because I know what causes it. And it’s not me. I know there’s no changing it and I don’t plan on trying to anymore. I will allow the hush to cover over me and I will find safety underneath…I will use it as my shield of protection that guards me from what I don’t want to feel anymore or deal with any longer. And that which covers me, will separate me from what hurts. And it will take away what could have been or should have been and make it something that doesn’t ever have to be. And that sound of silence will be a gift, that allows me to become someone else and a memory of sorts to those who have yelled and screamed and made known that ever present silent disapproval. And they can have it. It can be theirs. Continuing to deafen their own mind and heart, telling lies. But I won’t hear it. I will only listen to the music of love. And there I will find myself, my peace, dancing in the tranquil sounds of harmony in every note, every voice, every person that wants to shower me with song. And I will sing back in a beautiful, meaningful conversation with those who chose to speak.

And when we do let go, often the flood gates open.  At least this has been the case with me. And I have found the fire within the flood.  A fire in my heart that burns so pure and bright, it is blinding to all those who wanted to do harm, even a whisper of it. It will not pass.

And in this flood of goodness, light and love that is flowing ever so swiftly in my life, there are so many possibilities. There are smiles, and laughter and weddings of friends.  There are cabins in the woods, late night conversations and early morning coffee talks.  There are wine glasses and concerts and travel and fun. And sweet, intoxicating kisses, that last a lifetime in an instant. And there is happiness.

Bahama Mama

In life we have to take the opportunities that come along.  We must make the best of the moments that are given to us, take chances and enjoy what comes our way.  Some people shy away from new experiences and chances, maybe out of fear.  They stay on the shore where it is safe and known, never venturing out or willing to broaden their horizons.  TO me, that is a waste of life.  When we stop learning and experiencing new things, we stop growing,  And when we stop growing, our spirit, our spark, dies out.

So when a friend asked if I would keep her company on a short cruise to the Bahamas she was taking with her daughters – who where teenagers and would be doing their own thing – I yes Yes. And it was great.

It had been about six years since the last time I was in the Bahamas, snorkeling in Bimini. That is also the time I got my worst sunburn ever, and it was worth it.

I flew out Early Thursday morning to meet my friend and her daughters in Florida where we boarded the ship.  Several years ago I went on a barefoot cruise, which was a small luxury catamaran with 5 guest cabins, but this was the first time I had been on a cruise ship.  It was pretty fabulous. There were little umbrella drinks, hammocks on the top deck a little bit of tanning (I actually have tan lines, Which is huge), there was relaxing on the balcony of our wonderful terrace cabin (a great upgrade) and some beautiful sunsets.  There were pictures and shopping and looking at cool things, there was laughter and smiles and fresh salty air.  There was the beach, god food, and lots of fun.

There was singing Adele at the top of our lungs on the drive back, a gas station corn dog, some great shots with the shot glasses included, some great conversations and great memories.

And I am forever grateful to my friend to invited me along on her adventure.  Inviting me to meet and spend time with those two wonderful young adults.  Thankful for the trip and the experiences and most of all, thankful for all of the love.

So take those chances and see what happens.  I promise you will have some smiles along the way. And maybe even some good stories.

The Guide

And now for something completely different.  Enjoy!

The Guide

Some days must be dark and dreary.
But remember those days are only temporary
Days are only hours and not meant to last
soon they pass to become the past.

So take thy dark days and learn them well.
the lessons you learn will be ones to tell
and don’t forget that the sun is only hiding
when the darkest ray of moonlight’s shining.

And shine it shall, dark and gray
as life seems to drag on another day
but just behind the darkest hours
comes the light of dawn with all it’s powers

As shadows run and hide in fear
our heart skips a beat because hope is near
we can see it, smell it, almost touch it
Stick your tongue out to taste and catch it.

How sweet that taste of hope it is
Intoxicating, bubbly fizz
But first the night we must make it through
You guide me and I’ll guide you.

Ada Burch
4/11/10

The Unexpected Path

It was a normal morning… I got up, did some reading, worked on writings.  Then got ready to take my car in for repairs. It was only supposed to take a few hours at most. Four and a half hours later, and it was finally done.  And that was pretty much the day…no going to the gym because I still had work to do.  No cleaning up or such.

Irritated that my perfectly planned day was not going to plan, I grabbed a sandwich, planning to go back home to work. Traffic was terrible and it took twice as long to get to the sandwich shop by my house.  By the time I get there I was starving.

But then something happened. Something that made me realize why everything had gone so late. When I walked in, a disabled young man was there as well.  Clearly in distress, he was trying to get the store owners to call the police, because he did not want to go home as his parents beat him and he did not feel safe.

Another patron and I calmed him down and called the police (the store owners refused??). We sat with him and talked. I bought him lunch and we waited with him until the police arrived to help.  When the police arrived, we told them what happened, they talked to him and took it from there.  Both the other patron and I waited to make sure everything was OK before we left and gave the young man a hug.  He had been very brave.

Sometimes, when things are running late and taking way too long, as they often do, maybe there is a reason. I believe that God put both me and the other person there to help that young man at just the right time.  I believe that was the reason everything took so long yesterday.

So take a deep breath and know that maybe there is a reason, even if we don’t know it and can’t see it.  Maybe a bigger picture is being put together and we are a pixel in the brilliant tapestry.