It’s that time of year again, when we get all excited that the days get longer and the weather is warmer. Windows are up for fresh air to come inside, the heavy blankets give way to lighter, breezier sheets. Bulky sweaters are put away for another season and the skirts and short sleeves are once again brought out. There is camping and time outside on the patio, and we all seem to be just a little bit giddy.
It’s Spring. And it is here just in time.
Spring also means spring cleaning, and this year it is especially exciting for me. Life has come full circle and it is time to really clean up and clean out. And isn’t there something so cathartic about getting rid of all the old baggage and that which is no longer needed or used? Dusting off, turning on, cleaning out, getting rid, slimming down, and lifting up. And this year it not only extends to things, this year, for me it also means people. I have gotten rid of those who no longer serve my interests. And it must be done from time to time to keep things well and healthy.
The fact is, cleaning people out of your life doesn’t mean that they are bad people, just that they no longer serve you, or any purpose in your life. We must learn discernment in our circle. We must be careful of whom we let in. This was a hard lesson for me to learn – I always thought everyone deserves a chance and the benefit of the doubt from the beginning. No, they don’t. You must trust your gut and if your gut tells you that there is something off, then trust it and keep a distance.
And getting rid of someone doesn’t mean that they are a bad person, it just means they have no place in your life anymore. And sometimes it is hard, when relationships and friendships become unhealthy. A dear friend told me recently that he had feelings for me. He was very drunk and the confession was followed by inappropriate advances and suggestions. After my refusal and letting him know I was dating someone, there was lasing out with angry text messages. It was hard, but he was out. No one treats me, or speaks to me, in that way. His actions and words were disrespectful and extremely hurtful. Maybe one day, when ample time has passed, and he is geographically distanced, there will be contact again. But for now the toxicity of the friendship deemed it worthy of termination.
Keeping your inner circle closed shows self respect and value. Not everyone deserves a seat at your table. Not everyone has something to add to your life. And indeed, some will deplete you if you let them. Toxic people and relationships will bleed you of your energy, emotions and intention. You will give so much to that relationship or situation, that others positives in your life go neglected. So make sure you take a look at those who surround you, those who are close. Examine your relationships to make sure that you are not settling for less than you deserve. Friendship is not free; loyalty, honestly, respect and integrity are the wages and must be paid in full.
What is important is that who is left in your life are those who are truly the best for you. Those who will support you, cheer you on, and even give you a kick in the pants when you need it. After that what is left is space for everything good and wonderful to come in. You cannot make a new life, holding onto what, and who, does not serve you.
Now I am feeling lighter than I did before the cleaning process began, I breath easier, and my shoulders are not as tense. I truly believe that one of the keys to happiness is making sure you have genuine, loyal, positive, supportive people around you, who truly know how to love and be good humans.
Yes, welcome to Spring! I look forward to many good times, smile and great memories ahead.