The Carved Out Heart


“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?”

I once read this and it made an impression. After a particularly bad break up, my mother also explained it to me. She said that when you fall in love and it doesn’t work out, it hurts and burns your soul. And each time you get hurt, and it carves out a little bit more of your soul.  And each time you hurn, you hurt a little deeper and a little deeper. And each time you love, because of how deep your soul and heart have been carved out, you love a little deeper each time too. And so is the cycle. My mother is a very wise woman.

And the past few years have been so very hard with so very much pain and betrayal. And now when I love, my soul and heart have been carved clean by the pain, and all that is left is deep, and pure, and all of it.  Yes, at the end of the carved out heart, is the all of it.

And because of the all of it, I can love my family, my friends, my lovers, with so much more than I ever could before. And while I wold never want to go through the past few years again, I realized that all that pain and emotion was not in vain. It was simply burning out the impurities.

Of course you really cannot see that, when you are in the middle of the thick of it, knee deep, heart sick and soul troubled. But then the fog clears, and the sun peaks out. And you realize that life isn’t over, it hasn’t killed you and you can go on. But the heart must be carved out first.

 

Advertisements

Speak to me

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s