Overwhelmed


All of us, as some point, feel overwhelmed.  The To Do list seems to laugh at us, as we feebly try to cross things off. And it grows, and grows, like Kudzu during a hot a wet summer, taking over our lives. Until we release it;s time to get a machete and cut that list back. <Maybe even burn it. Wouldn’t that feel good?

The only way I know to get through being overwhelmed, which is how I have felt since buying the house, is to just put your head down and work through it.  And just like walking a tightrope – don’t look down. Just keep plugging along, don’t worry about how much you have to do, how for you have to go, or what you have already done.

And I have felt oh so over whelmed. Moving into a huge new house, myself. Working like crazy and not having any time to finish unpacking, looking around and mentally going through the ever-growing to do list. Dealing with the leaky skylight and the fact that Friday, water was dripping from the skylight, the ceiling and all down my walls. I just had a moment and just cried as I looked at all the water, though I am pretty sure more was rolling down my cheek than down the wall.

I felt defeated, overwhelmed, and just a mess.

The funny ting is that somehow, the shape of my house seems to reflect how I feel about the shape of my internal self right now. As  my house was/is a mess, so am I. . My house is not fully unpacked, I have trouble finding things, there are boxes everywhere and nothing looks put together. And that pretty much sums up how I have been feeling – very not put together.

A year of not taking care of myself has taken it’s toll, as I try to squeeze into a pair of my favorite jeans. They obviously shrunk in the dryer.

So I took this weekend off to put my house together, to get unpacked, organized, do things like set up my guest bathrooms, finish unpacking my my office, getting the guest rooms set up and cleaning out the garage. To dust, disinfect, sweep and mop…and even to plant a few flowers in the yard. I have politely turned down many invitations so I can get things in order, so I can stop feeling overwhelmed and start feeling put together. And sometimes you just have to do that – take time for regular maintenance and eradicate that To Do list. Sometimes in all the rush duplicity of life, you have to slow down, take a breath and un-overwhelm yourself.

And now, I look at and see that while there is still work to be done,  I will be just fine. The house is slowly getting put together and organized, as am I, deep down in my soul. And deep down, as I lay down to sleep after a full day, my soul feels just a little more at Peace. This Lenten Season has not been as Spiritual as i had wanted, due to working so much and being exhausted. But it’s never too late to pick up where you left off. And no doubt, the rest, putting my head down and working hard, and prayer, and that to do list, both for myself and the house, will be completed before I know it.

 

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