The Last Day

I received a text message this morning from one of my best friends saying that today is was the last day I would be 40…was I going to do anything special? I took a mount and thought, yes actually I am.

January is my birthday month and I am known for taking every chance to celebrate during this month. But aside from celebrating, with friends, I am also going to take a moment to appreciate what 40 has meant to me.

My 40th year has been one of the best and hardest years of my life. The road has been long, steep rocky and, at times, more than I thought I could bare. And yet, so much joy that I thought I might pop. My father’s cancer is doing better this year, I have worked harder at  my job than I ever have in my life, and I have learned so much.

I have learned the importance of taking care of yourself first. Taking care of others always before yourself leaves you devoid of anything to offer and give back. It completely depletes you, and that is not a healthy way to live.

I have learned the joy in truly supporting my family, helping them get back on their feet, and seeing them succeed in ways they never thought they could. And I am not sure who was the happiest about those amazing accomplishments, them or me. It truly is wonderful watching those you love succeed.

I have learned that I do not need a man for my happiness. I have learned, with the demise of my last relationship, that many times there is just too much drama in this day and age. Dating and relationships should be fun and bring joy. So, I have a great job, a fabulous roof over my head, great friends…and if times get lonely I can always go to the adult toy store. And I can even have a baby on my own…no man required.

I have learned the importance of good wine, and good scotch. The importance of chocolate and butter cake have on my very soul. The important of a great, sexy pair of stilettos and red lipstick. I have learned the importance of holding onto the guard rail when going down steps in those stiletto heals.

I have learned, the hard way, that not everyone who says they are your friend truly is. That just because you get along with them, enjoy their company and have things in common, die snot mean they are of your standards. When you associate with those who are beneath you, in character in discipline, in morals and ethics, you will get burned. And they will hurt you a lot worse than anyone that is your equal ever could. Because they do not play fair. And they will try to pull you down to their level every time you rise above.

I have learned the importance of trusting your own gut instincts, and what happens when you do not. Your guts no what is best for you, so that little voice that warns you not to do something? Not to trust someone? Not to …whatever? Listen to it. Life will be so much easier if you do.

I have learned the true value of those who are just, who have morals and character, those who work hard and play well with others.

I have learned the importance of Peace, and not letting  anyone take it away. Do not linger beneath your own. And when someone tries to pull you down, simply rise. Faith will allow you to do that, with Grace. You do not have to be ugly to rise.

I have learned the fine art and importance of letting go…letting go of pain, letting go of false friends, letting go of clutter, broken shoes, too small jeans, favorite cars, good friends, loved ones and tears. And I have learned that letting go of a large dogs leash, even for a second, can end very badly for neighborhood squirrels.

And I have learned, every day, every heartbeat, every breath, just how blessed I am to have the life I have, the wonderful close family I have, and they faith that I have. I have learned that I have the best family in the world, that my parents and proud of me and that I am equally proud of them. Every day I am so very thankful for such a close-knit group of people.

I have learned that when you are 40, you really don’t give a crap. And that is awesome. I have learned that I love being in my 40’s for this and many more reasons.

I have learned the importance of knowing when to go out…and when to stay home. When to visit, and when to drive on through. When to plan a vacation, and when to go home. I have learned the importance of when you really do need that shot of tequila.

I have learned the importance of setting and enforcing boundaries in a relationship and what it means when someone refuses to respect your boundaries. (take off those stilettos and run!)

I have re-learned that a man who truly loves you will not try to control you. I cannot live in captivity.

And I have learned, every day, every heartbeat, every breath, just how blessed I am to have the life I have, the wonderful close family I have, and they faith that I have.